I am in a predicament, I met a girl who has fallen for me. I met her at my older sisters graduation in Bruges, Belgium, it was a week of parties and she noticed me and apparently I smiled at her. So a few days later my sister introduces her to me and she seems cool but not a massive attraction. We end up chatting together for ages at this bar and we get on great, I try out loads of routines but most of it is just natural game. We are have a lot in common and see the world in the same light. She is 26 and I'm 22. This does not matter to anyone. So we are the last people out and go on this little walk round the canals and then sit on this bench and kiss for a while. I then end up at hers and I have to leave to go back to London in a few hours and I was really tired so we only got so far and I did not manage a full close (poor excuse I know).

I leave thinking I really connected with her but nothing else will come of it. However she started emailing me and then I emailed her back and we kept in touch and talked quite a lot. Two months after meeting her she then invites me to go to Berlin where she was staying and I had some time off work and I got on with her really well so I went for it.

I told her that because we talk so much when she picks me up from the airport we have to be silent for 10 hours. No a word can be spoken( she broke it like 20 times but i stuck to it) but we can feel and touch. She reluctantly agreed and this made the sexual tension go up massively and we had sex very shortly after getting to hers( i have done this before and it works like a charm, the girl just goes nuts and cant wait to fuck) We had an amazing week of galleries, bars,clubs, meeting her friends, random adventures and a lot of sex. She grew on me.

Half way through the week she said that she was falling in Love with me. This shocked me a bit because I always thought that it was going to be just a hedonistic adventure full of sensual pleasures. I knew from before my PUA days that normally people can develop deeper feelings even from very limited contact. So after Berlin I made it clear that I did not love her but I had a lot of affection for her, which I do. We are very similar. We still email and talk quite frequently. But now she feels this massive attachment to me. I want to ' leave a women in a better state then you find her' and not break her heart and I want to stay friends but I do not think I want to go out with her because she is not as attractive enough and she lives in a different country.

Maybe because I am not extremely attracted to her is a pathetic excuse, I know this is shallow but I feel I need some more chemistry. She wants to visit me in London and I am not sure that it would be wise but her heart is set on it. I want to be honest, with her and myself.

I have been getting with other girls and texting and emailing other girls during this whole time but I do not want to tell her. Should I?

I would like some feedback on how to deal with this sensitive situation. She is a good looking girl and a good person and I 'don't want to ruin her for other guys' and obviously I do not want to hurt her or use her.

peace out

Well her strong attachment to you was because you left for 2 months. Attraction is at its highest when you are about to lose someone. Plus it seemed like you guys bonded really well when you were together. So that kept the tension high for her. Personally, you are old enough to decide if you want to commit to a relationship. She is definetly at the age as well. And seriously, you are also at the age where looks should not be the decisive factor for a relationship. You said she was good looking and was a good person, what else could anyone else want? It seems you guys have a lot of chemistry as well. I've had moments where I bonded really well with a girl and she were attached to me, but I had no physical attraction for her and turned her down. Turns out I still regret it to this day and it's been years (sad I know). She was a good person and good looking as well.

What am I trying to get at? Just fucking try it, drop the PUA sh!t and try to commit to a girl who has fallen 'in love' with you. What is the worst that can happen? Don't be scared of fate, just go for it. You may regret it down the road later by thinking, I let that ONE girl go. And it's not like you guys are going out so it doesn't really matter about the other girls texting you. There's no guilt there, but don't continue this act if you decide to really commit.

Hope this helped.

As your attorney, I would advise you to explain to her that you are open to commitment further down the line, but right now it's not what you're looking for. If she's happy and wants to continue this, then she has to realise that what you guys do when you're away from each other is your own business, and you can have a great time when you're together, but that's it. This is not exclusive YET, especially as it's a long distance relationship (as I understand?). If she's cool with it, then she can visit you or you visit her when you guys can make it work. If not then you should not see each other any more because you don't want her to get any more attached and get her heart broken.

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Thanks guys, some good advice. Its also reassuring to know that people on this forum are willing to do the right thing and that love is not devalued or ignored.

I will talk to her about it. Although, I think this does not feel for me, just something missing, so I will tell her but I do not want to loose a friend.

Keep it real.