I'm such a fuking loser (srs)



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:45 pm 
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My story bros is that im not alpha. At all. Never had a gf and am in 11th grade. I spend my free time going to the gym to workout. At school I'm not that popular and had out with a few people from different types of cliques, i guess. This is my problem, that whenever I talk to people, usually would have a higher social value than me, id usually fuk up the conversation. its not because im weird but because i dont have a lot to say and when that happens, man, do i start talking stupid shit, like i was talking to this girl and how she was in a class and was asking her how it was or how was the teacher or something worse than that. something stupid that didnt lead the conversation anywhere and would ultimately not let me talk to her.

the same goes with the guys, they're more chilled out while me i guess im more loud and obnoxious at some points. i try to be more chilled but i guess i dont know how. i say random shit, not like tourettes, but stuff that nots relevant or stupid. i fucking hate that. the way i dress doesn't really matter cuz i go to a uniform school.

so thats my problem, how i can socialize more proper. i wanna be witty, wanna make both guys and girls laugh, i don't want to be this weird person who im either a friend or this kid from math class. i fucking hate it and i tried to change my personality but its so hard. im so desperate. i need help. i hope people here can help me gain social status or at least teach me to socialize proporly.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 18, 2010 11:24 am
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Location: England
Ok, 1st, relax, you're still young yet, the older you get the more confident you will become,

It's all about experience and you can teach yourself socially, 1st read The Game, it's inspirational at the very least, then read Rules of the Game, it will show you how to gain more social experience and how to be more confident.

There has got to be something you are passionate about or at least you want to be able to do, simply do it, team stuff and classes are great for this as they force you to be more talkative.

Make a point to talk to at least 5 people/strangers everyday, you havee to get yourself used to talking,.

Debates are good for this with friends, find something like a sports team or tv show or whatever and argue why it's better than what they think, if anything you could spend hours like I have doing this.


Hope this has helped. Feel free to pm me if you need more ideas, I'll try and get back to you quick.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:49 am 
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Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2010 5:33 pm
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Okay I'll brush you up with some straight facts:

1. Most of the conversational problems have to do with (a) Lack of confidence (b) Lack of naturalism in behavior (e.g: you're trying to be nice guy when in actuality you're a guy that cares about himself just as much as the chick next to him) which is also the result of lack of confidence sometimes.

2. In a social circle, once your image has been formed negatively, it is really difficult to make it good again. That being said you can make it fine, but making it good is a very difficult task.


Okay now, Addressing point 1:

There is this conversational tension that 60 years of challenge (dating coach) talks about. A confident man enjoys that tension rather than feeling it's his responsibility to break that tension and make the conversation flow again. But for that, you must be confident first, so that the chick around you feels the urge to take the conversation forward.

Confidence means inner confidence here. Not your body language, not your voice tone, not your hair (all these for now), but your happiness with being who you are. Once that starts to flow in, once you feel you don't really have to impress others by trying too hard and that you can do it just by being yourself (which you can), you'll feel much more comfortable while striking conversation with people. Just imagine what it is when you're talking to your mom or your cousin or your buddy.. do you mind the awkward silence? Do you mind the absence of a topic to talk about? NO! Yet you maintain a good relationship with them and that's because you're being yourself. So Target 1: Gain self-confidence. However you can (sources are many, ebooks, tapes, articles etc.).

Over to point 2:
Once your image has been formed in people's minds, it's easy to destroy it, but to rebuild it, you make to make WAY to many efforts which might not even pay off. That's because when you try to make it good again, you're going off the line, trying to seem like a better person, trying to impress others, and even though this kind of a behavior would give you a good social status in a fresh social circle, in the current one, you'll get responses like
Quote:
"Oh look, he's trying to act all nice. He's trying to barge into our group!"
So the trick is to not give a hoot about the people in your current social circle on whom you don't have a very good impression, be yourself, meet people who you're still not very familiar with (there must be quite a few), have your own friends. This will simply leave the others who don't like you very much right now, wondering.
Quote:
"What's with him? He seems all happy with himself now.. he must have changed. Hmm..."
The trick is not to go and tell or show to them that you've changed, but FIRST to let THEM find out on their own. I'm sure there would be people who are a little lower than you in terms of social status. Talk to them for now, observe how you're free around them, and try to behave similarly with others as well. Once it's evident that you've changed, you can use all the social-tricks in your book to higher your status further.

Since this is almost the end of your highschool years, you'd like to strengthen your inner game so that when you reach the higher platform (i.e College), you can invest your time in "how to become a better PUA" rather than how to become a PUA.

Good Luck ;)

_________________
Women are plenty, time is not.


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