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Are you gay? if no, why is just saying yes such a big deal?
p.s.
Stop seeing yourself as a victim
Haha, 'vaj', i never even realized thats what it was backwards.
no, i didn't understand what he said at first, i thought he was talking about my nationality, so i said i'm dutch. i just really laughed that one off all insecure and such then went back to my room haha.
i never really thought about seeing myself as a victim but now that you mention it it makes complete sense. i am seeing myself as somebody who the whole world is against. i think i should start focusing not on what is going wrong, but on what is going right.
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I bet if I could be a fly on the wall and watch as those events fold I'd be able to tell you in an instant what's going wrong. In fact, I can probably tell you now.
Just chill with your friends, stop introducing yourself because no one will remember after ten seconds. Just be social. Chill with your mates and have fun.
You're expecting far too much.
I could probably see it as well. The problem is, I can't see what I'm doing in third person. My perspective is all fucked up, I'm me, I can't see what is going wrong.
you've got a really good point. the guy that goes around saying "hi my name is ___" is just an afterthought, might as well be a ghost. i make no impact, and therefore leave no name to even remember. if i'm being social, talking, joking, and having fun, people will be drawn to me, instead of the other way around. and my value will be much higher as a result.
makes perfect sense, im going to try this out tonight.
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Stop drinking.
Hahaha sobriety is usually my thing. some nights are exceptions.
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University is all about social proof. There's a great thread about this posted recently so read it. The basic premise is - get involve in activities, host your own parties, talk to everyone, especially during the day, in between classes, to the people sitting around you in lectures, etc. You shouldn't have to be doing cold approaches at parties where you don't know anyone, this is difficult and you're coming from a low value position. Go to parties with friends who know the people, and get introduced to THEM. They will have to be nice to you because of social pressure, and then when you approach the HBs later, you have social proof because they've seen you know people at the party.
Secondly, if you get all reactive, nobody will want to hang out with you in the first place. If a guy said "do you fuck chicks" to me, I'd say "Hey THIS guys knows what's up! Yeah all the time bro!" smile knowingly and hi-five him. If he still tried to get a rise out of me I'd flip it and be like "oh you mean you don't? Hey it's cool I don't judge man, just be happy with who you are and be yourself ok?" This is me giving advice to him from a position of higher value now, and I'm still being friendly and polite. If he chooses to get aggressive then he looks like the douche, not me. Either way you can interact with him a second and then introduce yourself to his HB friends who I guarantee you he hasn't slept with.
i overcomplicate things, which you would know if you read my posts. i completely overlooked this simple fix. i think my main problem is i am trying too hard. you really wrap up what i need to do here.
thanks guys, as always i appreciate your help!
i owe you one.
CHAT
