I have been wondering this for a while and now since the time is almost here, I gotta get this answered fast. I'm a clean guy. I do not drink or do drugs and do not plan to start. I don't care if other people do it or do it around me as long as I'm not somehow getting high or drunk. I have seen a lot of posts here and read the ebook Conquer your Campus which was recommended in a few places. That ebook pretty much expects you to be drinking. I just don't understand why they expect you to destroy brain cells.

Can I still get laid in college constantly while being 110% clean? Many people say that the PUA should be the person to go to for for pre-gaming but I want to follow college rules and not allow drugs and alcohol in my dorm room. If someone is doing an illegal act in my room, how do I tell them to stop and leave without being a buzzkill? Also, can I host other fun activities like a movie night or a game night on off days or during the day before people everyone parties at night? Could I offer good clean (by clean I mean substance free) fun and still be considered that guy that organizes things? Apparently the guy who gets the most in college organizes the fun but can you do it without the use of drugs or alcohol?

Yeah you can. But already reading from this post, you sound like a very uptight person, nobody likes that.

Second, drinking alcohol does not kill brain cells. You don't need to get drunk.

And of course you can have "game night" at college. But please don't call it that. Just say to a few buddies "Hey wanna come play *****?"

Just relax and be chill. You don't have to drink or do drugs.

Don't be uptight. Practice the zen of cool

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Ugh. I hate when people tell me to "be chill". I seriously have no idea when it means plus it makes me reject the idea more in my mind. Telling someone how they should act does not work. I don't know if I'm uptight. I'm just very nervous and anxious. I want women in my life and college is a new beginning. I don't wanna blow it and have to wait 4 years for another major opportunity. I probably can't transfer colleges since the one I'm going to has an amazing program for my major so I gotta do this right. So tell me, how do be "chill"?

Being chill is a state of mind, there isn't a step by step process to achieve it. For example, consider "be positive", you can only discuss it in generalities. Just like being positive can be described in terms of searching out and focusing on the good in any situation, being chill is about not allowing something to take you out of the moment unnecessarily.

Getting irritated because someone tells you to chillout is a good example of allowing yourself to be taken out of the moment for no practical reason. What it boils down to is experiencing less happiness. When you're reacting to something in a negative or defensive manner, you're not enjoying whatever you would be experiencing if you had been more relaxed.

Sometimes in life you have to be taken out of the moment to react to something, consider being confronted by an aggressive rabid dog while making out with a cutie on a park bench, sure you could chill and not let the situation distract you from what you would be experiencing otherwise, but there might be uncomfortable consequences. Alternatively, if you're enjoying said makeout and some dude yells 'get a room!', well, you can choose to get irritated, maybe you even shout back 'fuck you' or something similar, but you've let something affect you and pull you out of an experience that makes you feel good.

What's worse, in social interaction one person's reaction or lack thereof can have a powerful effect on those in his or her company. Essentially when you shout back at the mouthy dude, you're not just letting yourself get taken out of the moment you're pulling your lady out of it to. This is a simplification, obviously she decides to some extent how to react, but in my experience what you do is going to have a major impact on how she feels in that moment.

That said, if we flip this around and some guy mouths off while you're enjoying yourselves and you don't allow it to affect you and instead correctly realize that some guy acting like a donkey isn't nearly important enough to surrender your happy frame you don't get riled up, and instead you just keep kissing. Now your cutie is going to perceive your calm confidence, she is going to feel less threatened and uncomfortable and gains the benefit of enjoying that happy space with you for longer than she otherwise would (unless you're a really bad kisser ).

What's the difference? Uptight dude experiences less happiness, his cutie experiences less happiness, and she will associate the slew of negative feelings that come up when being taken out of the moment with uptight dude. On the other hand, chill dude experiences more happiness, his cuties experiences more happiness, and she associates the feelings of happiness, security, and so on, with chill dude.

Bottom line: chill my man.

If you want to "own the campus," then forget about drinking and drugs. Learn to dance, learn SKILLZ.

Anyone who asks you to drink this or smoke that, just say you're happy and feeling good enough as it is.

Why the hell are you on this site if you don't want people to tell you how to act?

Sometimes you NEED someone to tell you how to act because you don't know how to act in order to attract ladies. So why don't you listen to the people that say "be chill?"

If people are telling you this then that should be a hint for you to actually DO IT.

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You are right. I was just overreacting. I'm just so sick of hearing the words "be chill" without any explanation behind what it means. It's pretty clear to me now. Just gotta practice it and put my mind in the right place.

That's one of my biggest problems. I do not know how to dance. I'm always a wallflower at those parties with the dj and stuff and there is gonna be a huge dance party on day one. That environment is my kryptonite. I was originally planning to just grab food and leave as fast as possible (there will be other opportunities to meet girls) but if I can learn how to dance and get girls to dance with me, then I am set to stay. Can anyone teach me how to dance or put a link to a video which can show me how to just dance? Would there be anything I can say to get a girl to show me how to dance without seeming unattractive? I'm not insecure or uptight, I just have a lot of questions. If I can avoid making a mistake, I make sure I know beforehand.

Wow. You really are pretty nervous. All of a sudden you're focused 110% on dancing just because someone mentioned it. You're not gonna get good enough at dancing to take people's focus off your alcohol abstinence. People are going to classify you as a non-drinker. With your disposition, that's gonna create such an internal response inside of you that no girl who is a drinker is gonna want to put up with you. You've already mentioned what your views on drinking are and they're pretty conservative. That's gonna reek out your pores and chicks will be able to see it from a mile away. Unless you have a family history of alcoholism or a known history of addictive genes, I would go ahead and have a beer or two. Just walk around with the same one in your hand the majority of the night. College students are ruthless. They will not hesitate to put you up on blast if you're not engaging in a common social past-time that's almost a right of passage. Once girls see this, they will ask you about it. If you tell them you're totally against it and it's gonna effect their brain, etc... they're not gonna wanna hang out with you (one bit).

Your options are to either
A) Stick with your guns and only realistically have access to about 10% of the girls at that college (because the other 90% will not feel comfortable around you at all).

or

B) Walk around with a beer or two the whole night, never voice your stance on drinking, act as if you have somewhat of a bad-boy persona and get laid by alot of hot girls.

I know which option I'd pick!

I already chose option B from the beginning. I don't have any problem with other people drinking and I would never say my true opinions on it. I know people would feel uncomfortable if I told them anything like that. Cradling one beer the whole night cannot hurt me and it means nothing. I would do that. If people ask me why I drink very little (holding the same cup of beer the whole night) or not at all, I would just say "I just don't" and leave it at that. If there is anything better I can say, let me know although I can't think of one.

Actually I can also say, "I just don't like it" and just leave it at that. Still does not voice any opinion I have on others drinking yet gives me a valid reason not to drink or drink very very little.

Don't say that you don't like it. Just say that you don't feel like it.

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Remember the PUA is the exception. If everyone else is drinking or doing drugs etc dont feel like you have to. You'll most likely find that people wont judge you or respect you less if you hold your own against peer pressure. It would be quite the opposite in fact. Its more alpha to be able to enjoy yourself without giving into peer pressure.

But like everyone says be careful you dont come across as up tight. Make sure you're coming across as friendly even when you have to say no to someone.

I used to be similar, 100% clean, but after a while (not due to peer pressure) i decided i wanted to try things in life more. So now i drink (still only a little) and have tried some marijuana (its rubbish! lol) but thats just for the experience it didnt have anything to do with game.

So remember, dont come across as uptight or judgeful or others and be friendly even when you have to say no. Enjoy yourself anyway and people wont notice you're not on drugs xD

EDIT: I always used to just say "Nah thats not for me. Im still having a good time anyway!" or something along those lines. Never tell them that what they are doing is wrong (unless its really hardcore like heroin or whatever, but then in that case you probably dont want to be there anyway lol)

Sounds like OP needs a drink.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Asking someone to leave because they are "doing something illegal in your room" is clearly in conflict with your earlier statement, "I do not care if people do it around me."

So which is it?

Now for Two Points:

1) Asking someone to stop a particular activity will be viewed as judgemental. No one likes to be judged.

2) Your sobriety is fine. But your judgement of the drinking and drug culture (which 99% of college is) will work against you. Most people who drink don't trust tetotalers. They think they are doing the above. If you're not on their level, at least let them think that you are. Hold a ginger-ale in your hand. Be the first one on the dance floor. Have a hookah in your room (legal and doesn't fuck you up).

Above all don't give them a chance to ask you why you aren't drinking. That question is code for "why are you being so boring?" and will kill you.