Anyway so there's this guy - a well-dressed bad boy - my favorite type. No phone, no car, heavy drinker, multiple felonies, lives with his mom, musician - couldn't be more perfect for me. The long and short of it:

Friday - we met through mutual friends at a bar I go to at least three times a week. My friend thought his friend was cute, so she convinced me to leave with them. We went back to a warehouse and jammed for a bit, and BadBoy and I made out in the backseat of a car in the custom autoshop next door. Nothing more. He got my number.

Monday - he calls and wants to know what I'm doing. I am going to the bar with some girlfriends. He says he wants to come "say hi." He walks the three miles to bar and we all have a great time. He is wonderful to my friends and we make out a lot. We come back to my house and hang for a bit with the group, and then my girlfriends pass out in my bed and he leaves. We made plans to go to a show on Friday.

Friday - he calls midday and wants to hang out in the evening. He calls again and says that he wants to see me, but he's drunk and with a bunch of shady people he doesn't want to bring me around. He says he'll call me after the show. I go out with my friends, have an awesome time. He doesn't call, and I'm not surprised.

Saturday - he calls and wants to hang out at night. I make other plans, given his flakiness, but he shows up at my house. I invite him out with me. At the bar, his ex (who is a friend of mine) shows up with her new boyfriend. My ex shows up drunk off his ass. Many of my friends are there, and do not approve of him, making the situation rather awkward. His friend shows up and wants to go play music at the warehouse. I say I don't want to go, despite his protestations, and he leaves, promising to call later. He doesn't. Again, I am not surprised.

Sunday - I pull a totally bonehead move and call his house. His mom takes a message that I called. I kick myself repeatedly and delete his number.
update: he just called me back and asked what I was doing later. Then he said he was going to shower and nap and would call me in a bit. He probably won't.

He lives a pretty wild, reckless lifestyle. He is the type of guy who would just go off randomly to San Francisco for a week with only the clothes on his back, so it would be unrealistic to expect daily contact or firm planning with him. But how do I keep him interested? He has game, and naturally he has a lot of girls interested.

I work a 9-to-5 job, pay all my bills, have a car, and bring a hair dryer with me when I camp. I am a total catch, and he knows this , but I'm afraid he'll tire of me because I am so...together. I know he's all wrong for me, but I just get so damn bored with the nice guys who have their shit together. I love the drama and not-knowing that comes with bad boys like him.

Help me PUAs!

you know there's always this part in the movies when a wise girl will come and say something like "just go to him"

well thats that part

It's much simpler then you might think, just go out with him, get him ALONE with you and no awkward and "go with what you feel", don't talk about relationship or whatever it will just scare him off.

Just do something a bit more special and personal then jamming and getting drunk

(after edit and some though... I don't like the guy, but it's not my call)

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

It's ironic that women like you are the reason PUA came to be.. I'd like to help you, but I honestly can't begin to understand how you think.

(BTW, isn't it a turn-off to find out a guy lives with his mother?)

How do you keep him interested?

I'll have a better idea when I figure out how to keep his female alter ego interested. Isn't this the paradox? We want someone exciting, someone who makes our lives more interesting, more sexy, someone who isn't predictable, someone who doesn't look out of place in our fantasies... AND we seem to want all these qualities in a person while having them somehow fit into our lives in a larger way.

You can't make a ho into a housewife, at least not anymore than you can stop guys from being attracted to hoes and then wanting them to be housewives.

This is my advice, keep doing what you're doing (minus the call his house part). The next time you guys are hanging out together, summon your own spontaneous energy, take him on an adventure*, do something to make him question his judgment that you have everything perfectly 'together' and therefore live a life devoid of excitement and passion. Whenever someone is forced to recheck their assumptions about you, a stronger connection is made.

Also, know what you're getting into. You can spark a ho's interest, but you'll never keep her from where she wants to be, she's not going to stay at home and bake cookies, she's going to put on something hot and go rip it up.

Good Luck,

*Be safe! I don't mean to go all paternal on you, you seem very capable and I'm sure you can take care of yourself, just wanted to underscore that unpredictable people (especially ones that like to drink, hard) are unpredictable.

You can spark a ho's interest, but you'll never keep her from where she wants to be, she's not going to stay at home and bake cookies, she's going to put on something hot and go rip it up.


I love that Wagon.

You like the Bad Boys? How about being the Bad Girl? If you want to keep a guy interested, be the bad girl his momma warned him about. Now, when I say Bad Girl, I don't mean get drunk every night and start shoplifting, I'm talking about sexually. Wear something risque, do something a little wild or unexpected. I don't care how much 'attention' a guy gets from other women, he will be thinking about the one that was the most fun behind closed doors.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

You guys are totally right. I do need to be a little more exciting. I have a couple ideas for things to do. And less available.

Its just hard because with a guy like him (who I have no real way to contact) I feel like I must grab every opportunity to speak or hang out with him, since god knows where he'll be in 20 minutes if I don't pick up the phone. If I go off with my friends and don't call him back for a few days, what if he forgets about me?

And that's my own insecurity talking, because I am a lot of things, but not forgettable.

In my opinion you are on best way to destroy what you worked for = ordered and stable life.
As I always said: Each moth will find it's candlelight fire and burn it's wings.
With other words: Who asks for troubles will find them,

Isolate him and then run the cube

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