I need some advice or opinions... Sorry the story is a bit long.

So I’ve known this girl for several years through where we work. One morning out of the blue she sends me a text asking if she was better (as a fellow co-worker) then another woman we work with. We exchanged a couple flirtatious text messages and she asked why I was awake at that particular time of day. Told her that I was attending a sporting event with some friends, she became interested and wanted to learn. We set up a day and time to meet up several days later, we exchanged more texts because of our work/life schedules not much time to actually talk on the phone or in person.

After I taught her this sporting activity she told me she had fun and wanted to do it again. I set up told her another day and time to meet up, she wasn't able to do that because of work...

About a week I called her and left a message to call me back. She texted a reply back and I asked her if she wanted to join me for a bit to eat a local restaurant, She agreed. Several hours before we were to meet she sent me a text saying that she wasn't feeling well after eating something that afternoon. Told her to stay home and get better.

We continued to communicate by texting because of our work/life schedules for a couple of days and I felt I just needed a break... So i didn't send her a reply text back for 2-3 days... She then texted me and asked if I still liked her, I told her that i did and teased her about her running up my cell bill and about her missing me when i leave the country for a weekend.

About a week later she told me that she would be at work and for me to stop and see her after I showed up and before she left. When I started work it was busy and didn't have a lot of time to chat. We ran into each other and talked for a bit, she commented on how I was walking away from her, I told her that I was busy and could stick around. After she left work she sent me a message saying that I was acting weird and acting like I was bored her and asking if I was mad because she was sick and couldn't go out the following week. I told her that I believed her and that I wasn't mad at her for being sick and that it's happened to me before. I asked her why she thought I was mad and bored of her, she said because I slowed done on texting her. I told her that I had tried several times to bring her to the sporting event again and try to go to the restaurant again.

I then invited her out to the restaurant again for a different night (Tonight), she agreed to show and said that she would cancel anything that was going on that night. I ended up cancelling a somewhat important and expensive trip to go out with her that night to spend some time together because one of us would be leaving in a couple of weeks for a long period of time.

She sent me a message yesterday saying that she might not be able to make it because of a work related event earlier in the day might be extended. I told her that was fine and to let me know when she is available.

After sending her the message to let me know when she is available, I kind of felt like a messed up somewhere… not sure if I should have laid a little guilt trip or her after she said she would clear her schedule…

Any suggestions as to what to do next? Should I ignore her, try for another time…

Why man? Why would you cancel an important and expensive anything for someone who has repeatedly flaked on you (not saying she was lying or anything, but look at people's actions to draw conclusions about them, not their words). Especially if it's likely to be a one off anyway because one of you is going away 'for a long period of time'.

Also, the way you responded to her most recent flake went from medium to terrible when you added 'let me know when you're available'. What does that communicate?

I'll tell you what it communicates, it says ""I'll just be waiting here for you, since I have no options and essentially nothing better to do"

Pfft, Fuck that man, you DO have better things to do. And if you don't then get that fixed, go make some friends/meet women that can actually coordinate their schedule and live it up. If I were you this girl would basically have to drive herself over to my place at this point, and climb naked into my bed for me to invest anything further in her.

- I just re-read your post -

My read is that this girl is flip flopping between being confident that she can get high value guys and feeling insecure that she is desirable. Whenever the latter happens she checks in with you to make sure you're still waiting around. As soon as you showed signs of moving on "I felt I just needed a break... So I didn't send her a reply back for 2-3 days" she pulled you back in, in the least covert way possible, by straight up asking you if you were still interested to which you gave in (with zero investment on her part) and satisfied her insecurities.

Then you didn't pay attention to her at work to the degree she was looking for, and she straight up asked you again if you liked her or were bored with her or whatever. You responded by again alleviating her fears, ensuring her emotional needs wouldn't go unfulfilled down the line and removing any need for her to invest in you.

After that, surprise surprise she... flakes on you, or at least sets the stage so that when she flakes its somehow less her fault.

My advice? Go meet other women, and don't compromise yourself for them because they have vaginas.

You can be a warm, generous, positive person without failing to make women earn the comfort of your affections by treating you with respect. Serving that comfort up without investment on their part will kill their attraction for you, and encourage them to walk all over you.