hey all, im in abit of a pickle at the moment. me and my friend both want this girl, she is a friends friend yet neither of us have much of a friendship relationship with her.

we were out at the pub on friday and i ended up giving her a lift home and thats when i decided i needed to get this girl. shes very quiet and its hard to muster the balls to even start a conversation with her but she seems very humble. we went to school together for a year but never spoke a word to each other.

last night, out of paranoia that my friend would make the first move i decided to send her a msg on facebook as i dont have her number, it went like this;

Me: Hey, feel free to reject, but i was curiouse. Would you like to accompany me for a friendly coffee sometime? Nothing suss i promise! lol

.

Her: ummm maybe sometime, sure

maybe i will see you at the pub again another time first? if that's okay? .

Me:lol ofcourse

now, after that she has posted on my wall a few times. i dont know what to take from the message and how to progress. any advice or strategies would be greatly, GREATLY appreciated.
thanks in advance.

p.s im not sure if i should be looking at that as a rejection, in any case any advice on recovery is appreciated!

its fine its just.. you didnt do any game at first. you just said to her what you want.
i dont think its the right way. if you see her again in the pub, try to be cool. open the set, talk to her friends. let her fight for your attention.

another thing. dont EVER say stuff like "feel free to reject". when you say something like this you end up giving her all the power she could possibly ask for and more.
dont chase the girls!! let them chase you after a nice well played sarge.

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Veni, vidi, vici

alright, next time i see her il see how i go. and the "feel free to reject" thing i said was because it was a little hasty, and i didnt want her to feel pressured. lol

never give them an option, if your getting her number hand her your phone and tell her "here, put your number in and ill text you some time"

And she probably is getting the message you want to date her but using 'friendly' could end you up in the Friend-Zone, your on facebook remember! take all the time in the world you need to think of something

Other than that Tutu is definitely on top of the other matter, you definitely dont want your woman controlling your relationship, so dont let her think that she does either

i have two problems, firstly she seems very shy. i dont think shes the type to fight for attention if im talking to her friends although i will still try it.

secondly i dont have much time because my friend is also after her. its basicly first in first served. i just dont know how to go about getting her to want to talk to me on a regular basis.

i dont want to seem too eager.
also i do apolagize, im aware i seem very noobish. lol there is a possibility that she may think im a player because of the way i look (people get that impression) even though im not. i need to isolate her to show her the "nice" side of me. just dont know how.

Hey there Jinkus;

I don't believe she rejected you at all! I think she agreed to the date but wanted to build the friendship first.

Chances are she has been interested in you since school aswell; Its always difficult for people who haven't spoke in a long time to build up the relationship however, its the same with all relationships, whether business, social or otherwise, once you put the time in just to talk about things that you think about, and ask her what's going on in her life; then foundations can be built.

I don't believe in this 'stuck in the friend zone' dude, if your sexy then people will find themselves feeling passionate thoughts about you, if you talk about sexy themes then of course people start getting ideas... not only is it suggestion, but its human.

I would recommend building the txt and facebook relationship, so you nail a few deep and meaning conversations, then make yourself scarce and give some strong DHV images of being busy and going after your personal success and girls been attracted to you, without actually sounding egotistical.
At that point your relationship will be forced into meetings and phone calls because you don't have the time to meet her casually. but you've got to give her a relationship first so then she'll miss you when your gone everyone loves attention, its entirely necessary for psychological health.,.., just make sure its on your terms.

Many thanks

Vince Lynch (GMTG)

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Want to learn more? Get plenty more advice from UK based self-improvement company, Get me the Girl, by visiting www.getmethegirl.co.uk

thanks man, honestly best advice ive ever recieved. thanks to all.

you guys seem 100% right, its good to get an outsiders point of view on things. im going to nail this

thanks again. i think its time for me to be abit more active in the community lol.

good news, i was with one of the girls friends last night, she said that the girl told her i asked her out for coffee. the reason she didnt exactly say yes is because apparently she doesnt want to go one on one because shes abit shy around new people. apparently this girl is very fresh when it comes to guys.

all the better for me i guess. just got to win trust! lol