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| Ethan Hunt | PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:50 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum |  | Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:57 pm Posts: 181 | | It's been a while since I was on here last. I spent two weeks at a Minnesota/Canada trip with a bunch of friends (all dudes) where I lived in the wilderness and relied on a canoe as my only source of transportation around 75 miles of lakes. It may sound like hell to some of you, but it was pretty awesome for me.
After that I spent a week in Tennessee with my family and had a good time. So now that I have some time I am getting back into the PUA groove.
I have noticed a significant change in my self. I have become more confident and can talk to people more easily, and I don't feel the same anxiety when talking to complete strangers (except HBs, sadly).
However yesterday I had to go to an open house for school, where I felt I still wasn't where I had hoped to be by now. I felt insecure and awkward, but tried really hard to come off as an alpha male (probably WAYY too hard) which probably made me come off as insecure. When I get insecure I react in one of two ways. 1 is I retract and just go into a little shell where I'm quiet and shy. The other is I start trying to be too alpha and make people uncomfortable when around me.
I am glad that my conversation skills have improved, but my self confidence still has a lot to be desired.
I initially had a goal of completely changing myself this summer so when I went back to my last year of high school, I would be unrecognizable. I definitely am different, but I am not where I wanted to be. I still have 2 days before school starts, so I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to be when I return to school (that is, how my mindset should be and how to act to accomplish my goal).
Thanks for the help.
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| Zaffy | PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 10:38 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:02 pm Posts: 31 | | One thing which has truly always helped me, acting something really helps you believe it's true.
You want to appear confident to everyone else? Act it. I used to be scared of looking silly/worrying about small little details. I realised the more I worried, the more withdrawn and quiet I was, which in turn led to me being even less confident.
You've dramatically improved this summer, just imagine yourself being confident. Stop worrying about small details (eg, worrying that you haven't reached where you wanted to be). Just roll with it, go back to high school, smile, laugh, be confident and friendly. All confidence is is the willingness to try new stuff. _________________ Quote: Im not gay goddamit
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| Ethan Hunt | PostPosted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 10:07 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum |  | Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:57 pm Posts: 181 | | Well, I heeded your advice. And the first day didn't go too badly. At first I was a little nervous, and even though I was doing my best to act confident and be sociable, I was really having trouble finding things to say even to old friends. But after an hour or so I became a little more comfortable, and I started to joke with my old buddy a little and made fun of a fat chick for a good while. But that good frame ended after a while and I started loosing it again and that same old tired "blah" feeling accompanied with a matching facial expression returned.
And also I found that acting really confident scares the sh!t out of freshmen haha!
So even though I still am not where I want to be, I have definitely improved, and with help and time I should continue to go in the right direction.
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| ImNaShitFool | PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:33 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot | Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:48 am Posts: 354 | | Don't rush it.. Let it happen & just continue to take risks & self evaluate till you polish it.
Being alpha is about subtlety n well timed aggression.. Less is more... So relax...just Be playful... & see what happens from there. It's alpha to be able to be playful & tease females... U don't need to over do it.
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