Urgent help needed,
Current situation is I am talking with a girl who sees me as a potential boyfriend but has been telling herself that for the next year she does not want anything more than friends with any guy. Quote from her tonight "I was so set on not having a boyfriend and just focusing on school after my ex and then you fucking happened"
She really likes me and I have never been a AFC to this girl but I do see myself slowing down with being able to make advances through her shit test and walls.

I need advice on how I can make her choose me over not having a boyfriend.
I am not even looking up to setup a LTR but how I can escalate more connection and more intimate relations like a possible FB.

Last week her best friend of 7 years confessed he loves her and she was questioning who she likes, me or him and took time to think about it and says that my connection is so much more then with him and that she could not date him and that I was in her mind during all of that mess.

A big part of her is not wanting to have to risk the breakup and having things be awkward like all of her ex's as she is programmed.

Usually I would be on to the next one but this girl has really taken over my mind.
How can I take it sexual and not friend zone?

I don't know if this is the case but it has been for me in the past. That is "unattainability". I have in the past like a girl like sooo much more just because she was unattainbale. Is is the case with you?

Anyway if it is or it is not and you still want to pursue this girl as a FB you gotta avoid the one itis. Now avoiding the one itis and having this girl increase attraction for you can be done by hanging out with other women.

Talk about other women. Mention to her if a girl near you guys are attractive. Talk to her about that funny story of you with that girl and how you guys got caught up in an akward sexual situation. Talk sex, not about her, but about you and potential girls you want to date, or are just hanging out with.

Be confident that you can handle a FB. Which means you can handle her flirting and sleeping with other guys and you can restrain yourself from annoying her with constant attention.

OK that being said don't analyse the ex with her. I know it seems like it makes sense to analyse the ex. One would think "well if we look at this rationally we can come to a definite conclusion that they shouldn't be any feeling towards the ex and therefore the ex shouldn't be on the mind and therefore the girl will totally stop thinking about the ex and all other bad experience she had with him and thus not have any of these negative fearful emotion transposed on you" This makes sense in guy talk, but obviously we are not dealing with a guy. We are dealing with a female. What you should do is not talk about the ex at all. If she talks about him show no interest or chance the conversation. But again, this is important, do not talk about the ex at all.

So what do you talk about? Anything that involves giving her fun emotions. Involve her in fun activities as opposed to long conversation on the phone or at the coffee shop. Bottom line if the interaction your having with her is you playing a therapist do not do it. Interact with her in a way that your having fun and of course you will become her source of fun which gives way to spontaneity which will give way to her looking at you as more of a person to have fun with and let loose with as oppose to the a guy she needs to comfort her at times of distress.

So in short.
-Hang out with other girls and talk to her about them. Or if you're having a hard time hanging out with other girls then comment of how hot girls are.
-Do not talk about the ex-boyfriend at all! Talk about things that will bring out a playful emotion within her.
-Do not have her percieve you as a therapist, a person that she dumps all her problems on. Let her percieve you as someone who she can go to the bar with and act crazy with have fun with.

Let me know how it works...good luck.

Let her know your intention. Obviously she into you and obviously she doesnt want a seriously relationship and you dont either. i dont see why you are having a hard time about this? Just tell her " i feel the same way, i dont want to be into a relationship but i feel a connection with you" Cause now you are not playing games. now a fair warning. Most people who are FB turn it into a relationship.. Just be truthful. either she can accept it or things are just gonna stay they way they are. dont need to do any extra step. Basicly she put the ball in your court when she mentioned "I was so set on not having a boyfriend and just focusing on school after my ex and then you fucking happened" Now put the ball back into her court.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f