there's this girl i can sleep with.

the thing is, on the on hand, i'm not super attracted to her. there's lot of other girls i find wayy more attractive, and i don't think sleeping with her i can get that into it. i mean, the attraction isn't zero - there's something there - but it's not super exciting like it could be with other girls. i feel somewhat off about it.

but, part of me feels it could be a good opportunity for healing. i have issues with sex, performance anxiety, and other negative emotions and fears of intimacy. so with this girl, we can connect, and i feel comfortable sharing all of these fears and being open about it, and trust that she would be understanding... so it could be an opportunity, from sleeping with her in the mean time, to experience some healing and desensitization. not sure i can feel this way with others.

it's not simple for me to decide. any thoughts?

As politely as possible...

JUST SHUT UP AND FUCK THE GIRL!!!

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Sticksies PUA Blog http://sticksiespuablog.com

While I agree with the guy above, let me put it a little more eloquently--

I do think that if you're comfortable with it, and you don't think it will negatively impact your future with other girls, go for it. One word of warning is that sex with a girl you don't find that attractive can kind of suck and seem to drag on in a non positive way.

Good luck, hope you get what you're looking for from it.

oh, i forgot to say, she's a housemate... changes things?

.... and stop thinking... it's just sex

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Fuck her, but only if your clear with her it is just a fuck. no need to hurt a girl by giving false expectations.

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If you want to know how to be successful with women, learn to obediance train your dog...

Sounds like you are afraid to fuck a cute girl based on the fact that mommy and daddy did not show you enough affection as a child. You know what man... this is something you just have to get over. Sometimes learning to hug someone sexy is a huge step for a lot of guys. Why is this a good barrier to cross though? Because hugs are warm and girls love them.

Now with regards to sex... I would suggest learning a few things to stave off your anxiety:

1. Learn more about the female G-spot... especially female ejaculation
2. Like a good Boy Scout (or bad boy scout), 'always be prepared'. This means have condoms, lube, massage oil, romantic/sex music, and sex toys on hand
3. Learn ejaculation and erection control, mainly through Kegels

These are just a few things I can think of to improve your sex life. It should be your goal to hone skills to fuck multiple girls and not just one. Exercise helps a lot too to boost your testosterone levels and make you hornier. If you are having intimacy problems, I suggest getting a copy of "Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles" by Harville Hendrix. This book explains your wounds, how to heal them, and what types of girls you are attracted too. I highly recommend it. Best of luck.

-Chicoman

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"Failure is not an option. Everyone has to succeed." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
My blog - http://pickupartistpua.blogspot.com/
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I say fuck her to boost your confidence in yourself. It is quite possible that fucking her could be a turning point for you. Having more confidence in your self and your sexual abilities, might give you the psychological edge to go out and get higher quality women later.

In high school they used to call girls like this, practice girls. Because you would lose your virginity to them first, so when you fucked a hot chick you'd know what you are doing.

Also it might be a turning point for her as well. Sleeping with a high quality guy might boost her confidence and turn her life around as well. I know a couple of fat chicks, that dropped tons of weight and started taking care of their looks, after they fucked a good looking guy.

So my advice is, that this will probably be good for both of you. It seems like you both trust and respect each other and both want to do it. So I don't really see a downside to it.

As Anthony Marantino on Sex and the City said, "ugly sex is hot."

Sex with someone who you're not worried about impressing can be amazing. Inhibitions fly out the window and you're free to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about your body, coming too soon or too late, noises, if she's into you or not, ect.