So, I'm transferring schools this fall, and I'll be about 2 hours away from the girl I've been seeing for about a year and a half, but I'll see her every weekend. Additionally, in another year she'll be enrolling in school somewhere; she's a very smart girl, so she could be a state or two away, or even more. There's a lot of uncertainty and questions here, so I'm hoping you guys can chime in.
I'd first like to remedy me going away, and then work on when she goes to school somewhere.
I can comfortably say we are both very much in love, so both of us are very concerned about how this will affect our relationship. She values me very much....almost like she views me as the "ultimate man..." and shows me all the time; she can't picture herself ever being with another person. (She's even talked about building her future with me, things like she'd marry me on the spot if I asked today
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Everything you could hope to achieve when getting a girl to fall for you; complete and total devotion. Basically, we both love and value one another. She is very close with my family, I am very close with hers, we are very cool with each other's friends.
For my current situation, my girlfriend has said she's happy I will be going to a very good school. She's always been very concerned about me being away but recently, however, it's been weighing on her mind very heavily (and she just experienced a death, so a lot is on her mind.) She has said she doesn't know how she'll cope with me being away and isn't sure how she can do it (while bawling her eyes out.) She thinks I'll "find someone better," and is sad I won't be around the corner and she won't be able to see me on a whim and that I won't be able to hold her if things are tough, or good, or whatever the situation is. I'm not sure if she just has a lot on her mind now, or feels I am abandoning her (like many others in her life have...in fact, she asks me to never abandon her) but she said it's "me or no one" even if I'm away and that she wants me to be successful. Point blank, she said
"I'm needy" (as in she is, not me.) So we want to be together, but it's almost like she thinks this is going to tear us apart and is expecting and trying to compensate for a bad blow...like it's happened so many times and she doesn't want to lose another person that she loves to death.
How does one keep a relationship strong through valleys like this? Is there anything I can do to ease her concerns and, perhaps, make our bond even stronger?
And, on another note, assuming we survive this, how should I approach her going away in a year? Seeing her parents struggle, among other things has given her the motivation to be a very successful medical professional (I'm studying business), and it's always been her plan to complete it since she was a little girl. If we are still together in two years...if we've survived my move, how should one handle it? Do I move to be near to her if she is far away? Any input on this would be sincerely appreciated.
The future is scary, but I'm hoping those that have experienced a similar situation can voice their opinions.
Aside from this, we always have a wonderful time together, like there isn't a thing wrong in the world; we are lovers and best friends, but this seems to be the one obstacle in the way. So those that think she is disqualifying herself or something, I don't think that's the case.
CHAT
Anyway, your suggestion is well taken, but I'm not sure it solves a distance issue, and we are still relatively young. Perhaps I can get her a promise ring and make every attempt to be near her?