Now is not the time to learn how to be yourself. Why? Becuase you came here to get results that yourself wasn't getting. Yourself has not worked for you in the dating world.

"But Fin, up till now I have been hiding and I have NOT been my true self"

"That's becuase yourself IS someone who hides and does not express himself. The reality is that yourself isn't getting the results because yourself isn't good enough in this area of life."

"So Fin what do I do, if I am not myself?"

"You start looking at other people, reference with the succesful, look to emulate those who have claimed victory where you have tasted bitter defeat!"

"Isn't that betraying myself and leading myself down a dark path of mimicary and false persona's?"

"Firstly why is mimicary bad? People do it everyday! It's only now that you are taking the next step, your choice isn't going to be over latte or americano, or Briefs or Boxers, it's going to be about success and failure. Winner and loser. "

"So Fin.. *sarcastically* I abandon my life, I dress and act like Tyler from fight club, or talk.. with pauses... like mystery?"

"There is no need for over-kill here, everyone succesful, is succesful for a reason, find these reasons, and integrate them into your personality. Tyler has a cavalier attitude of let the chips fall as they may... take this on, bring that into your thought proceess's. Remember Uncle Roger from Roger Dodger? Remember how switched on and alert he was when looking for women? Learn to do and think like that! Make that part of you! You will not take on the super-ficial dress sense of brad pitt. Or the skin deep body language of Jack sparrow. You will take something MUCH more valuable from people like them!"

"In a way I'm not becoming them but I AM changing till they become like me!"

"Perfect! You see right now you have not gotten anywhere, why? Becuase you have relied on yourself and what you think you know about success, only problem is with that plan is that what you think you know is built on fallacies and half truths. As such that bullshit has landed you in the middle of nowhere."

"So in order for me to progress, I must learn, I must study the succesful."

"And so it begins, welcome to the world of winners."

Awesome post. Great read during my work hrs

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but Fin

what if im so pathetic and ugly that none of those tricks would work anyway even if I could emulate them?

Ever seen full metal jacker? Remember private pile? the fat guy they hit with soap. thats me. Im such a loser its untrue. I dont even think a hooker would want me.

I'm not going to sugar coat my words, or give you what you want.

What you want is me to say "AWW no, that's too bad, we'll all help you"..

If you really didn't care, if you felt it WAS hopeless you wouldn't post this.

"Life is rough you gotta be tough"

Two options, be pathetic, and die crushed under the boot of the powerful.

Or fight back.

It's the only two options you have, think carefuly about this decision. The fact that you are here indicates there is a part of you which is willing to go on.

@will_tang:

While we're on the topic of movies, ever seen "The Shawshank Redemption"?
Me? I like Doctor Who and Krispie Kreme doughnuts way too much, so I'm definitely choosing to get busy living, and part of that is fixing my social skills and "inner game". You can do it, but it's going to be WORK, and it's gonna suck....but hey, they call it "work" for a reason, which is to do something you wouldn't normally do (labor), in exchange for something you want (money/power/etc).

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Agree 100%. I credit the ability to spot what I like out of other people and adapt it to my personality as the greatest reason I've improved the amount that I have over the past 2 years or so considering I haven't gone out and done PU.

I like this very much. Anyone want to sticky this? I think the old PM that explains the forum is kind of outdated, and people could really use this.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Awesome thread.

Actually mimicking others and changing yourself is the worst thing that you could do. People are individuals and should be proud of that. The ONLY reason why guys can have no success with girls is low/no confidence. If you accept yourself fully and stop looking for others to decide your identity for you, than you get confident. Once you're confident you automatically become VERY attractive to girls.

This attitude of not being good enough is the real problem.

There is only one reason why people see you as such a 'loser', because this is exactly how you see yourself. The way you see yourself completely defines the way the world sees you, its as simple as that. It is no wonder that you are projecting yourself as a 'loser', you really believe you are one!

The rich visualized themselves as being rich before they got rich, confident people visualized themselves as being confident before they became confident. You need to start seeing yourself differently and you will gradually start to fit this new image of yourself. Your life is purely a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs, nothing more and nothing less!

Using role models is a proven self development strategy. FACT.

Telling someone to be themselves when "themselves" has failed them non stop is the worst thing you can do.

Since when did modelling of others EVER take away someones individuality by the way?