Intro-

Met her Friday night at a singles party, HB8, outside on a bar patio thing. Was introduced, we talked for a few minutes and I negged her and did light kino before her guy friend came over. I thought, f this AMOG, but he was actually pretty cool. We negged the target together, with me starting them and him going along with it. She left after a few, he and I talked for another 5-10, then I left. As I walked by her, I tapped her arm, motioned her inside to get out of the crowd, then got her cell.

Texted her Sat, got nothing back, then this morning again (as if nothing happened).

Here's the text...

me - do you work during the week?
hb8- all different says and some weekends
me - asking you what you do is irrelevant to me and it doesnt matter. i have a much better and more relevant question for you
hb8 - whats that
me - do you love what you do?
hb8 - yea y
me - are you passionate about you work?
hb8 - y....this is kinda weird
me - people lack passion. they care more about work than doing what they love
hb8 - yea sure

From here, I felt like I was losing her, so I tried resorting to normal convo...
me - what do you enjoy doing outside of work?

me - what do you enjoy doing outside of work?

and no reply...


I was trying to talk about passion and relate passion to work instead of just asking the normal "what do you do, what do you like to do, etc etc" crap.

Yet looking back, I don't feel that I attracted enough initial interest. I used to think getting a number close meant I was golden...yet after looking through various pickup articles and other info, I've realized that women will flake on you if you don't have enough initial interest. I didn't want to sit around and talk with the guy, although I feel that I talked to him enough where if the HB8 asks him about me, I'll get a favorable review. I also didn't want to make it seem like I was looking for her approval and wait for her to come back, displaying DLV.

after this text message convo, you really think that the problem is that you didn't attract enough initial interest when you first met her? really???

just be engaging and playful. open with something interesting and/or funny. you clearly weirded her out with your strange line of questioning. i see what you're trying to do, and that's get a deeper than surface level conversation with her instead of the normal interview-style boring stuff. however, that's not what you accomplished.

she's not yet attracted to you so she's not going to answer deep questions about her passions on the first set of messages. and you certainly haven't done anything to attract her. she wasn't into the conversation, told you as much, and you still continued with it. overall, just not good. as i always suggest, wait a couple of days and re-initiate with something new and go from there. maybe you can save this still. if not, chalk it up to a learning experience i guess.

I used to do this alot when I first started learning PUA material and that i'd jump balls deep into routines and patterns and not just engaging the girl. the conversation should flow naturally with elements of PUA material in their to enhance your interaction with her. Just talk normally at first, be that fun and happy guy you are and when there's a little rapport there you can start getting deeper.

From the way it sounded, it's like trying to talk to a total stranger about their inner feelings or their childhood bumping into them on the street. Without a good rapport, it's all just gonna come across as weird and drive her away.

I wanna congratulate you on the number close though! You did a good job, just dont focus so much on the mechanics and keep having fun. There's more than plenty of time to build connection.

Didn't know you had to have attraction already for that kind of questions, thought those kind of questions built the attraction by making it seem like you're interested in something else and sets you apart...at least that's everything I've read.

Thats true in a sense, and you asked them well but the timing was just a bit off. After meeting this girl, you just wanna keep the conversation light and build up your DHV. It came across as showing way too much effort from the get-go.

Not knocking you, but save the deeper questions for later. Being set apart from the rest doesnt always make you a better choice. I think this is from a David DeAngelo seminar, it went something like, "the desire to be unique is unoriginal"

Hmm...understandable. DeAngelo is what I follow most and I'll keep this in mind. Should I have just went with normal, standard questions for awhile, build up DHV, pass the shit tests, joke around playfully with her and go from there? I'm guessing that's my standard route.

see Sinn's talks on here from T21C 2008 when he talks about his attraction model for better clarification on this.