I haven't taken the time to introduce myself in the appropriate section because I don't want to be the guy I used to be for the last 24 years.
I have always been the nice guy, the people pleaser. The weak minded soft and emotional guy. My first encounter with falling in love has changed my view about women a lot, and I think it has changed myself.

I want to get rid of that image and become more self centered, self assured, assertive and sexually aggressive (in a positive way)

At the age of 24 I have managed to kiss 1 girl and that's as far as it went. Never lost my virginity because I have overestimated the value of women. I've come to realize that there's no such thing as " the one and only "

So I've met this new girl who attracts me. Not only does she attract me, she attracts almost every guy in town. She's very hot but also gives every guy the impression that he has a chance. She's with some guy not because she likes him, but because she hopes it will make someone else jealous. And she enjoys the attention a lot

I used to like her, she's fun and honest to me in what she says (admits that these relationships don't mean anything for her and what her intentions really are) but she doesn't seem honest towards any of her BFs. She cheats on her BF in every single relationship she starts, and they never last longer than a few weeks.

She constantly puts these love quotes on her facebook and the guy who's being abused thinks they are about him.

In my opinion she is a total drama queen/ attention slut and uses guys to fulfill her personal needs. To boost her own ego.

I'd like to counter her facebook quotes by joining groups such as " I pity your boyfriend, little whore " but I don't know if she'll take that personally because I don't mention her name by joining. But the point is I want to keep her guessing in some way

I'm just looking to make her realize that I'm not just one of the boytoys who will run after her no matter what happens. I'm invited to her place with 7 other guys along (that's what hot attention sluts do I think) but I'm planning not to go. She loves the thought of having 7 guys at a party just for her. I think I should try to break her confidence a bit by not joining. I don't want to be just another brick in the wall

To be honest I'm not sure if it makes sense to still see her once in a while. But attraction is not a choice..

Any advice?
Should I put her feet back on the ground or should I just let this hot fox out of my life? Even though I find her a drama queen, she stays hot and I'm attracted to her. But I don't think joining a party full of guys is a good way to get inside her head

Definitely not from my experience. Shes probably attracted to you already but as she has other choices, probably she don't notice you. Neg her and try to give her a chance to notice and get seduced by you.

seems to me that she is a siren and live off guys attention.might be better to distance yourself or you will get hurt.

_________________
Lets Get The Girls.

lol she's using you as a toy, the losers that show up to that party are gonna compete for her..

don't be a loser, rather MAN UP!

either you just delete this girl from your life or you give this manipulative woman a lesson. she deserves only to give you fillatio for her actions lol... honestly

take her on the 1-on-1
If she really wanted to hang out with you, tell her you can't be at her party (some friend from outta town, is in town) or you were out with some friends or something

then say "we should catch up" and invite her out, take a beer at the bar, go out to this cool restaurant you know

This girl is gonna test you NON-STOP! but don't fall for her tricks!

tests like
-cancel meet-ups
-not answer txts and messages
-try to make you pay stuff for her
-attack your ego

just stay calm, laugh and shooot her down!

TEST: "can you buy me an icecream?"
Answer: "haha you're serious? you got money, use it!"

but dont fall in love with this girl now, she'll manipulate you just like the rest, leave you heatbroken within 2 weeks!

What would be the appropriate male reaction to this then? Yes she is a drama queen and no I don't want to get manipulated. On the other hand she's so hot and worth an effort. But if she's really the slut that I think she is, I don't think it makes sense to run after her for something serious. She is not 19 yet, and I'm in my mid twenties nota bene.
Running after a teen chick is not something I had in mind. But she has too many options to run after me so I tend to make more effort than I should.
What lesson would that be? Guess I have to make up my mind and be honest with myself. I'm not gonna run after a slut no matter how hot she is.

Here are some things I was planning to do from now on:
- not go to her party
- not text her again
- Disagree with almost any opinion she gives me
- Not hide my thoughts about her slutty image
- try to break down her confidence in a non offensive way (categorize her as narrow minded and "easy" etc)
- Never ever buy her a drink again
- show her that I have plenty of other female friends to hang out with
About the catching up.. After I met her the first time I hadn't contacted her again for a few months. I added her on facebook and talked once in a while but didn't show much interest because of our age difference. A few weeks ago she said that she was often home alone and said that I could stop by once in a while, so I did.

Every time I stopped by she told me about guys in school. " I'm with this guy but actually I like that guy.. But I've never made an effort for any guy.. Omg this guy stalks me all the time.. Guys in school call me a fox all the time it is so tiring.. "

Basically she is always bragging about how hot she is without literally saying it. I don't know if she does that because it boosts her ego or because she wants me (unlikely, she seems to like a different guy every week)

She has also made it very clear that the only 2 guys she ever had a crush on are the guys who play back at her. The guys who play games with her, kiss her and then say it didn't mean anything because they were drunk. Basically the ones who are hard to get. And once she has them she is done with them and looks for an other target.
Only test so far is that she hasn't contacted me for a while. She says that she is available to hang out with and I said "oke just gimme a nudge when you got time"
She agreed but she only hangs out with me when I take the initiative to text her / run after her. And I'm not planning to keep doing that.

I've offered drinks to her and to my friends on any date. I always do that, not sure if that's a bad thing. I think it would if I did it just for her.
When we hang out I try not to turn my full attention to her and she has shown some interest in talking to me the last 4 times I ran into her in a club. It's not that I follow her all the time, but the latest week I think she's starting to find out that I find her hot.

An other trick she uses for attention;
She puts half naked pictures of herself on facebook to make guys horny. And she constantly writes deep love quotes and stuff like ' I am so vulnerable, wish you knew how I felt " etc. Briefly said she represents a very vulnerable image but she's not.

I hope to read some more good advice on here. If I keep running after my penis and follow her I don't have a chance anyway, so I better back off and pretend I don't like her I guess. I've started it today by countering her slutty facebook images in a non offensive way. I'm not gonna text her again and I'm gonna invite some other girlfriends to my place so she feels the competition.

#1 Apropriate Man reaction

She may be hot, but you're putting her on a pedistal. When she tries to use you, push her away.

If she invites you over and you say yes. and then you find out there's 7 other guys that are gona be there, then invite one of your friend-girls (hot if possible) to go with you. Just pass by HB10's place, say hi to everyone, stay for a while then say that you gotta go.

she'll realise she's not the centre of your universe, and you got other girls anyways. This should raise your value in her eyes.

#2 The lesson

If you're like me, Manipulative girls just annoy you! Teach her a lesson. have 3-4 girls at a time in your close network. Hit her with that PUA game that others don't have, and in the end get her to lick your lolipop.

#3 Catching up

Gradually build a connection with her, get her # and txt her every now and then until it becomes a daily thing. Then move everything towards hanging out!

Youre the man, and by experience, most women won't initiate the meet-up! By telling her to call you when she wants to meet up, you're relieving yourself of your duty. And she'll probably never call you up...

YOu gotta continue setting up dates. And evenually she'll start inviting you out too.

But if were to go over to her party with another girl, say hi, then say "i just stopped by but i gotta go. But check it, I'm free thursday after 5, wanna go hang out in town?"
it should give you better results than where you're heading

#4 Testing you

She tests you every time she talks about other men
She tested you when she said her parents wouldn't be there
she tested you when she invited you to a party full of her and 7 dudes
AND she will continue to test you, BE VIGILANT

Dont listen to any of this BS.
This girl is not as great as u think. she actually has low self esteem and her only self esteem comes from guy liking her bc thats what most her self esteem is based on.
She actually is vulnerable bc her whole self esteem is based on what guys think of her. This is not totally her fault that these 7 or so guys orbit around her,
1.these guys are all beta
2. Any guy she tries to date bores her quickly bc they become beta males.
3. She feels vulnerable...etc bc every guy around her is weak she wants a strong guy to hold her self esteem and the ones around her are all weak just like she is.

Also dont comment on things about fb. Just leave it alone and get on with ur life, she needs validation and posting comments gives her that attention.

As lucky put it dont put up with her bs, Your the man be one, She's looking for a man and every guy that comes around her acts like a pussy, and pussies arent attractive for women espcially when they believe they have options.

I've started the tease/ignore strategy and it seems to work. On her favorite social network site I've joined a group named " I pity your BF, little whore " and it seems that she has taken it personal. Yesterday she texted me to ask if I could stop by for a walk with her.

So after an hour I did and she told me that it bothers her how many guys think she is a slut. She says she seems easy but never gets physical after a kiss, and that she is a virgin. But every guy seems to think he can go to bed with her in no time and it bothers her a lot. I don't think she lied about anything in that conversation, she admitted that she was unfair to guys once in a while but she would never do it to someone she's close to

And I haven't agreed with her all the time like any beta male would do. At times I've told her that she does slutty things and that I wonder why. But she explained and agreed with me on some things I mentioned

It was an honest conversation and it lasted for hours. She has told me a lot of private stuff about her so I know she completely trusts me (correctly)
I still don't think I'm gonna go after her because of our age difference but I'm not gonna ban her from my life. She's not a slut I think, but a very open person that needs some serious adjustments.

I'm not sure how to act from here. I'm not gonna take advantage of the fact that she feels vulnerable. But she has gained value from my perspective and I think it's oke to get to know her better.

I think I'll stop by at the party but just for a very short time
Am I seeing this correctly? To me it feels like that

from what i see it probably is just another manipulation from her, maybe i'm wrong. you could go for the party if you want, but maintain your stand and be a man, don't let her change you easily.

_________________
Lets Get The Girls.

Usually I have a good radar to find out if people lie to me. Her story was pretty consistent and she admitted her mistakes.
I'm not gonna run after her anyway and I'm gonna keep disagreeing if she comes up with more BS about her boytoys. It was a good conversation but if she thinks I'm her shoulder to cry on she's wrong.

And if she thinks she has gained my confidence so she can take advantage of me she's gonna find out I'm not some beta tool very soon.

At this point it seems that she feels embarrased for the fact that people find her a slut, but not for the fact that she has used guys to boost her own ego. Those are 2 very different things. Her behavior towards guys in the future will tell what she is really like. She is honest but that does not make her a good person, and I hope some guy will ever do to her what she has done to so many guys.

Regardless, you did 1 more mistake.

Yeah it's ok to tell youself "She's a hoe" But don't tell it to her! You have to accept her sexuality, I'm surprised she opened up to you after finding out you judged her on facebook.

It's a key thing to accept her sexuality, If you tell her she's a hoe, yet you wanna sleep with her, it's not gonna happen.. You've already insulted her sexuality and said that sleeping with pple is a bad thing, she doesn't want to be judged any more so she'll hide her sexual side from you. She won't open up

Conpare it with someone who embraces who embraces her free way of living! He could get all into a sex dicussion with her, talking about all the kinky stuff they've done in the past with diferent partners! this would lead to sex, experimental sex, lots of sex, good sex.

I've joined a group that stands for honest relationships. "dirty little whore " could refer to anyone. I haven't insulted her in person, but she may feel confronted and that was my intention. To keep her guessing.

My main goal is not to go to bed with her. I am a virgin too by the way and I am looking for a loose girl with good intentions, not a slut. I know her parents very well and I would never do that without a good foundation. I like her sharp sides but if she is a dishonest person who will sleep with anyone I'm not even interested no matter how hot she is. But I'll have to find out

In our last conversation it became very clear that she likes to tease a lot of guys, but she never goes further than some basic touching and kissing.

quote:
" I am a virgin and I wonder why guys think I'm so easy. My current BF claimed that I had sex with him to his friends and I have only kissed him once"

Her current BF has met her less than 2 weeks ago, claims he has had sex with her already and wants to sleep with her. She told me that it really bothers her and she's breaking up with him because she feels disrespected (again)

She wants to get rid of that image and she wonders why she has fallen for losers so often, because she doesn't want to. Yesterdays conversation changed my view about her for the better, I just hope she has been honest.

Meanwhile I've had her invitation for saturdays party. It seems that the guys she mentioned before are not even invited and I'm one of the few. The rest are friends of her (girls). I'm wondering if she has invited me because she likes me, or because she wants to brag to her friends that she's friends with someone who is about to graduate in college. She is still in high school.

My cousin has seen me in a club with her and asked me what I was doing around an 18 year old. I just smiled about it but the age difference bothers me in case we'll ever get closer. I'm not gonna push things but I'm curious about her. My parents notice that we hang out quite a lot and they are getting suspicious

I don't get this age thing, maybe it's just different where I'm from. but 18-24 isn't worth making a big deal about. 14-18 IS A BIG DEAL but 20-30 is acceptable.

You're two mature adults right? If someone judges you about it you tell them "we're just friends. whats ur problem?"

Still, I stand my position as to say that joining that group is bad. Even if it wasnt for her, you're still projecting your values against certain sexual liberties for women. You're judging ALL women.

Why not join a group called "I pity your GirlFriend, foolish playa!"

You're not mr.nice guy no more, you shouldnt care about the foolish playa, let him do his thing, Karma will come back around on him some day. And don't pity his girlfriend either, it's her fault for doing a bad pick for her boyfriend. THATS TOO MUCH EMOTIONS FOR PPLE, AND IT'S NONE OF UR BUSINESS ANYWAYS. I dont see why you should care about someone else's relationship, unless to encourage them if they're close friend of yours

Same for the opposite. "i pity your bf, dirty slut"

Done With the nice guy attitude.

No more pity for pple who get cheated on, they should have seen it coming.

No more caring about what a girl does and doesn't do. become a humanitarian if you wanna stop pple from having too much sex with too much pple

thanks for replying, it's very nice to have ppl with different ideas overviewing this

I wish I could turn on my " I don't give a F " button. No more caring is 180° away from what I'm doing right now. I want to head in that direction but I think it takes time and personal growth. Let's start with not let ppl take advantage of my goodwill and not being a follower.

I've seen a very nice video on youtube. There are bad guys, good guys and nice guys. The bad guy is the player who goes for sex and lies to girls. The good guy is the one who respects her but doesn't allow to be taken advantage of. The nice guy is a people pleaser who has no self respect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN3_uref ... re=related

Bottom line: I want to be someone. Preferably the good guy but rather the bad guy than the nice guy

How can she be a virgin if she has cheated on boyfriends she has had in the past? Unless you consider cheating to also include something else? But did you tell her why she has the image that she has?
I if I was in your place I would give this girl a dose of reality. This is besides letting her know she is an attention whore.

Hello NoMoreMrNiceGuy,

Your situation reminded me of a short story called "First Love" by Ivan Turgenev. You're couple of years older than the protagonist in that story, but the girl and your role in her life seems alike. If you decide not to go to the party, you should read it online instead.

Now about your attraction toward this girl. It is only natural that you would want to spend time with her, get her to know you and to see the new self that you've managed to finally create out of your old "nice guy." Natural because, as you said, "attraction is not a choice," and you're absolutely right, so I say you do what your heart tells you. If you do deny your feeling, you deny yourself, she might notice you, but soon you'll stop being who you are and you are, right now, the guy who has feelings for this girl or the guy who wants to fuck her, whatever direction your attraction is taking you.

I would go to the party, especially if there are 6 other guys invited. I find it much more interesting with competition around, and it's a better way for her to get to know you. Sounds ironic, I know, but the truth is, it's much, much easier to show who you are when you're alone with the girl, when you have her all to yourself, it's similar to living in a rural cottage, where it is extremely easy to be calm, relaxed, enjoying the stillness and slowness of life and connecting with nature. The exact opposite of which is an apartment in New York, where it is extremely hard to find piece of mind; this is similar to the party you're invited to. Now the real genius, to paraphrase Emerson, is one can find peace in this noisy neighborhood, after all, anyone can do so in wilderness.

Going to this party and doing your own thing will show first to you, who you really have become, and then to her who you really are. The bigger man will leave the background and become the center of attention, for her and therefore the group or vice-versa. If you neither seek attention, nor ignore her (denying your attraction and therefore lying to yourself and everyone else around you) in due time she will see you and (woman are good at this) you will see an indication of interest in her.

Just some things to think about. I just want to say congratulations on your transformation and best of luck whether you decide to ignore this girl or follow your heart.