Alright so I joined this forum so I could get some advice. I have a lot going for me. I'm a musician in a band that is doing pretty well for ourselves, I dress really good (so i"ve been told), and girls like to say I'm good looking. I have a great social status and there's always a few girls after me at a given time. Please don't take this in a conceited way. Anyways, I go to a hair salon that my friend works at probably about once every 5 weeks or so. Her friend who also works at the salon noticed me one day and basically crushed on me ever since. For the last 2 months or so my friend has been inviting me out to various social events so I can meet and hang out with this girl. I could really tell she liked me, a lot. She is very attractive too, might I add.

Anyways, since she would be texting me all the time and showing me attention I didn't really have to put in much effort. We'd all watch movies and she'd make sure she sat beside me, and she'd sit very close to me, eventually resting her head on my shoulder and stuff. Clearly she had feelings for me and I was feeling the same for her, but not showing any signs of neediness.

There's a guy in my circle of friends that doesn't like me, and he's out to snake me with any girl i come close too. Just the way he is. Anyways, in the last 2 weeks he's been around quite a bit, hitting on her and always giving me a douche-bag smile when doing so. Last weekend we were at a big BBQ and he was hitting on her like crazy...I failed the test and I showed signs of being jealous. Not really that big, I just was really quiet and I'd frequently watch her and him talk and what not.

The next day her mannerisms and attitude towards me changed night and day. We went for a walk that night, alone and she told me that she just wants to be single right now, enjoy being free, if you will. She said she feels like I'm watching her every move, but thats not the reason she's pulling back. She was in a relationship for 5 years before and her boyfriend cheaeted on her. (this was 8 months before we met).

Anyways. I'm just confused. Because at first this girl would be jumping up and down in her salon when i'd text her and all her friends were telling me she's in love, then one day she completely changes her mind.

Currently we'll text every 3 days or so. And its nothing major. She won't come out to social hang outs anymore. She came to a baseball game last night with this other guy thats out to get me, but I showed no signs of jealousy. Just wondering if you guys have any advice for me, how I can get her back?

Thanks!

I think this girl has douche-bag-itis. The bigger the douchebag, the more she's into him. The last guy cheated on her, right? Well, this next one, will, too. And the next one, and the next one.

A lot of these girls have daddy issues and it's best just to move on.

If you just want to get laid, start treating her like shit, or bring another pretty girl around, and I'll bet she'll "all of a sudden" start paying attention to you. Seriously, most women like this don't even realize they are doing it.

But these girls are usually damaged goods (psychologically) and not a good choice for long term. That's just my opinion.

_________________
Marie
I married my PUA!

"Best way to hit a target is by avoiding hitting it". There's some martial arts quote about that. Anyway, the point is, just game other girls, get a massive social circle and, like mariepivot said, bring around other girls. She'll eventually come back.

As for the other comment about being more of a douche, that might work, but I would be careful as this depends entirely on the girl, and I'm not sure if she's proven herself to have the dreaded douche-bag-itis yet.

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.

Thanks guys. Yeah, her last boyfriend cheated on her and she kept on telling me how big of a d-bag he was. Over the past few months she has been telling me (subtly) and her friends that im the "perfect" guy...After this d-bag started cockblocking me i got a little thrown off my game and I admit there were times I showed jealousy but now I feel like I'm the needy/sensitive guy that is at her beck and call. She never talks to me anymore I have to go to her and she told me out of the blue that she just wants to be single and enjoy it, even though I'm a great guy. Girls are crazy! But its all good, I have NO problem bringing attractive women out. I have lots. She was just, you know...kinda special and I liked her. Hope I can get her back. Not too sure if she digs this d-bag that is into her, although she likes the attention she gives him and to be honest I think she gets shits and giggles by watching my reactions.

Hey Bassman don't let it get you down. Some of these "special, sensitive" girls are actually completely mental, and men like you might be attracted to them because they feel that they can help them.

Maybe you are the a male "fixer" and you don't realize it. I dated a guy like that once-- all the girls he dated were basket cases because he felt like he could protect them and "heal" them somehow, but the only thing he ended up doing was filling his life with batshit-crazy bitches.

Seriously, move on. You sound like a nice guy who enjoys a challenge, so find a pretty, intelligent girl that is a hard chase because she's high-class, not because she's a mental case.

_________________
Marie
I married my PUA!

I dont agree on, marie.

Just based on the fact that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and, bassman dislikes him. Doesn't mean she likes douchebags.

That is a bunch of bullshit, where you just thought of at that moment. It's doesn't have any grounded evidence to conclude that.
You don't know bassman and you don't know his 'friend' who bothers him.

To me it seems like you didn't show her interest enough so she walked away. As soon as a girl shows interest in you, you can reward her by givings signs of interest back.

It would be nice if you told us if you kissed her. That would make a huge difference in this story.
Does she was potentially becoming your girlfriend, before he came in the picture?

A little more background on your relationship with her back then, would make it easyer

That is a bunch of bullshit, where you just thought of at that moment. It's doesn't have any grounded evidence to conclude that.
You don't know bassman and you don't know his 'friend' who bothers him.

I was just giving a girl's opinion, isn't that what we are all doing, trying to help a guy out? I just think he can do better and he's wasting his time.

It sounds like you know Bassman personally, so maybe you have more info than I do.

And I'm not saying that anybody else's opinion is "bullshit."

_________________
Marie
I married my PUA!

SPAM, it sounds like she doesn't have douche-bag-itis, but, hell, who knows. If she does, you might want to avoid her, solely because it's a bad idea to deal in "damaged goods" as so many call that set of girls... Because it's unlikely that you can ultimately change her inner world for the better.

Opinions?

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.

Unfortunately I didn't kiss her no. Maybe it is my fault, not putting more effort in. But i was just terrified because in the past when I have given girls more attention they run off because girls like the "chase". Once they realize they can have it they scram. During movies she'd cuddle with me and put her finger up and down my arm to notify she's into me and stuff, but I didn't really act on it much. Perhaps thats where I went wrong, but I just didn't expect her to pull a 180 on me and stop talking to me. I thought she liked me enough so i could take a little bit of time with it.

I haven't texted her at all or seen her in 4 days, and nothing. Not even a text or a call. Not sure what's up!

Oh, probably a useful piece of information, the last thing we talked about 4 days ago via texting was she wanted me to come over to her house to teach her acoustic guitar. she said. "well lets set up a guitar date soon then! =) "

So....I'm wondering here....DO I ask her when is good for her to do this? OR, do i wait for her to come to me to ask me? I was also thinking of using a push/pull technique...maybe set a date with her then bomb out last minute and say I have dinner with a friend??

Thanks for the help guys.

Hi bassman,

That you didn't kiss her was your mistake. She showed you all the possible signs of sexual interest and you didn't respond to it.
So what do you think she must think?
She is confused and doesn't know why you didn't do anything, she might even think your gay, just because she doesn't know any other reason.
That's the reason she pulled a 180 on you, she gave up.

It's pretty fucked, but it can mabye be fixed.

The last contact you've had was before the whole 'friend annoys me and steals her' incident right? That would make things harder. Definatly when that guy is now her bf.

Anyway, you need to show her interest again. Initiate contact in a funny way.
Like; 'I heard you playing guitar lately, you play pretty shit =p. Still up for some lessons?'
Of course you make this fit your personality.

If you can make a guitar date with her you're in. You can easily kino her by teaching her guitar.
You can touch her hands, get behind her show her how to grib and hold her guitar, basicly perfect.

Don't flake on her! You have gotten her on the wrong foot enough.

Try to arrange a date, build sexual tention, and go for that kiss!