Short version is this girl and I started dating, but the timing sucked... she was out of town for a month and when she came back hadn't found a job in the area so will be working out of the country 4 days a week. Plus if she can't find a job within 6 months, her visa expires and she gets sent halfway across the world from here...

So, sensing she was going to friend zone me I decided to friend zone her first... basically telling her that unless she could stop worrying about the future and work on getting to know me we were better off as friends.

Anyway, we still chat a lot on Facebook and last night we talked about about this other girl I think is interested in me. Now, first of all what should be expected from a girl who is interested in you when you ask them for advice on other women? I know it's a good technique for getting out of the friend zone... but not sure how to judge the reactions.

Somehow, as a side conversation we got to talking about how well we clicked and kissing on a first date. Then we talked a bit about kissing and she tells me:

Her: I don't think I am a good kisser

Me: you're pretty good
I might need some more sample data to be sure though... plus I think you keep holding back a bit

Her: for me kisses always turn me on
blushing
and for most women too
you can easily make them wnat to have sex with you with passionate and good kisses

Me: I think we may need to do some experiments on that

Her: hmm
Not sure if I told you about my rule
friends mean no sex
sex means no friends

Me: never been a big fan of rules
wouldn't want to mix things with you though anyway
just... we clicked well enough I may not always be able to think of you as just a friend

Her: yeah I know


Then she just says to go back to the other girl, and "maybe this time, we guys will click."


So I feel like her talking about kissing and getting turned on was a great sign, but shutting it down with "friends means no sex" then encouraging me to go for the other girl is a pretty bad sign. Right?

Thoughts?

So she ims me again last night, saying she had an idea for how I should deal with that other girl. We got to talking about the other girl being pissed because I was apparently dating two girls at once.

Her: I don't mind and don't care how many girls you go out with while seeing me until we move to the next level

(That threw me a little, I wasn't sure if she was implying something... then...)

Her: but the whole thing between us has been put off due to the timing not other girls


Grr... girls are naturals at that whole cat string theory right?

Cant string thoery has messed me up man. Girls totally can do that. if i were you i would not show as much interest in her and then get her out or somwhere where you can do the steps, like showing her your value in public and such and then just make it happen i bet you could since there seems to be the comfort built but you still have to follow the steps and i bet you can pull it

So last night she IMs me on Facebook. After joking around a bit, she asks if I had needed to reschedule our first date because I had plans with another girl. Then she starts talking about how great our first date must have been since I couldn't remember what my other plans were... then starts talking about how she's got other guys lined up. (Jokingly, I'm sure she doesn't actually.)

Since I know she's going to be spending most of her time out of the country starting very soon, I just neg her for liking to break hearts at which point she says she "never gets the chance to break hearts... not even yours."

Wondering at this point if she's seriously conflicted about pushing me away, or if she's just trying to get attention. Or if she's kind of hinting that she'd like to start dating again but thinks I need to make that offer. (She's Vietnamese and their culture is a lot more strict about women making a first move so she might need me to.)

Hrm... maybe I should just try to get together and see where I can take things... or maybe I should just concentrate on other girls that are less complicated.

Honestly man, you're overcomplicating this.

David X's first rule: Don't think or care about what the girl is thinking. You're either sexy and she wants you, or you're an AFC who has no clue what he's doing, and she doesn't want you. The great thing is, you choose.

My suggestion is to move on. You can probably fix things and make it work, but in my opinion it's more trouble than it's worth.