I tried my first opener, but then screwed up, can I fix it?



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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 9:47 pm 
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There's an HB8 at the counter of the gym I go to, that I've always wanted to talk to. So today I go up to her, and used a variation of the "Did you know that x% of guys wet their bed, would you date a guy that wets his bed" opener, and it went extremely well, she laughed, smiled, etc.

But after that I had no idea how to continue the conversation, so I just said, "OK, thanks, bye".

So.. Is there any way to continue the conversation next time I see her?


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 10:30 pm 
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My answer would be "Yes", but I also have to ask: Why should it matter?

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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 10:41 pm 
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Yeah, I see what you're getting at, but no, I don't have any fixation on her. She's just practice to me.

I could just go out and open with other women, but the same thing could happen again, so it would be nice to know (for the general case) if there's a way to fix a pick-up if the opening didn't transition to a good conversation.

Besides, this girl is fairly easily accessible, so I don't really have to go out of my way to talk to her.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 8:21 am 
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Be genuinely interested and curious about her as a person and conversation will flow naturally.

Currently you are forcing yourself to think of what to say just for the sake of saying something. Let it flow, speak because you genuinely want to know something from her or genuinely want to tell her something. If you're saying shit just for the sake of spitting words out, she will pick this up and it will come across as extremely put on and fake. ENGAGE her and keep it real.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 6:23 pm 
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Aha, that makes sense, thanks Visionxxxxx, I'll try that.

EDIT: BTW, what happens if I *don't* truly and deeply care about the girl or want to find out about her, but just want to date her because she's hot? Surely there must still be a way to engage a conversation?


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 6:54 pm 
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EDIT: BTW, what happens if I *don't* truly and deeply care about the girl or want to find out about her, but just want to date her because she's hot? Surely there must still be a way to engage a conversation?
Why would you lower your standards? I date a very hot girls that I deeplu care about and have multiple connections with.

Don't get stuck on your first approach. Heck nex time you see this counter girl just go up, like you would and friend, and just engage her in conversation. Simple as that. See where that leads you and learn. And do it again.
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I could just go out and open with other women, but the same thing could happen again, so it would be nice to know (for the general case) if there's a way to fix a pick-up if the opening didn't transition to a good conversation.
I could get hit when I cross the street, that's why I look both ways before crossing, but the fact that I could get hit doesnt' prevent me from crossing. Openers don't need to transition into good conversation that's where your personality and charms come in.

I'll give you a pointer that helped me for a while. Two pointers actually. After your oppener, cold reads go a long way. Even if they fail. " You look like a student at U of Whatever-Local-University", this will get convo going a bit. You might become good at this and failed reads will still get you convos. Right on reads will make things light up. Time for pointer #2. Talk about her, people love to talk about themselfs. Listen to her answer and try to take interest in what she is saying. Keep the convo going, but most of all, listen.

Good luck.

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