Allo,

Boys and girls I think I might have screwed up and done something AFC. My GF told me today that she got a random text from her ex bf (they broke up six months ago and went out for 2) asking for some of his old shit back.....like clothing and sporting shit. Blah blah blah. She broke up with him, so I think this is an AFC attempt for him to try and reconnect with her.

Anyways, he texted her yesterday, she never said anything when we talked last night. She told me about it today. She said she didn’t tell me last night because she felt that she wasn’t going to respond to it. However, she said she couldn’t sleep and texted him back saying he can have his stuff back if he wants.
Anyways, I snapped on her because she waited to tell me and also, I told her if she’s going to continue to talk with him I’m going to walk. We’ve sort of talked through this and I told her just to tell him to fuck off because she’s got a new bf now. I am not one bit apologetic about my reaction and I told her that. I won’t stand for that shit.

What do you guys think? Did I act too jealous? Too AFC? On a side note.....she told me a while back that things never worked out well with this guy because she was able to walk all over him. He didn’t have a backbone...so sometimes I may subconsciously act a little too firm because I have that knowledge.

Feedback appreciated.

Cheers

lol acting "firm" translates into acting insecure. Be confident about yourself, your an Alpha and her ex is an AFC, why would him trying to reconnect with her bother you? If you exhibit jealousy like that, it will lower her attraction for you because it just shows your lack of confidence. When she means she wants a guy with a backbone, she means she wants an Alpha Male who respects himself AND her, is confident about himself, and doesn't ever let shit phase him. If she ever does something inappropriate, you should show her that you are not ok with it, but don't flip out over it . Withdraw attention or something.

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this is a topic in itself, when to be reactive and when to not react at all. There is a fine line. If you never react then you will end up being walked all over as she will push her luck and see what she can get away with, so one MUST react at some point. Here is the golden nugget, react but dont react EMOTIONALLY.

UB6IB9 its easy to tell that you reacted emotionally as you 'flipped' as you said.

Thanks for the input guys. I appreciate it. I'm still learning. I'm wondering how I should go about handling this now. Should I apologize for the way I over reacted? Or just move on, chalk this one up and never let it happen it again?

Unless she was realy dumbstruck by your reaction you don't apologize about it.

Just act cool about it, you KNOW she is never going back for that guy. So fuck it, let him get his stuff back. Nothing even happend yet.

This guy might wanted to go out playing some sports and realized that his stuff is still at her ex. So he drops her a message if he can have it back.
Then she's like wtf? But does respond, since it is a normal question to ask your own stuff back.

And then her current BF freaks out about it, like somekind of serious threat!

This is how an outsider will see it, and it's jealousy to the bone. She wants a secure and emotionally stable man.

That's why your not going to apologize for your reaction, exept if she was creeped out or dumbstruck by it.
But you ARE going to act cool about any further events and you will only make an issue out of it when there is LEGIT reason too.

A girl does not wanna be posessed, you don't own her. So she doesn't want to feel controlled or forced to do anything. And if she does, you don't wanna be with her.

Trust and confidence is the main game here.