Is it time for txt damage control?



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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 4:29 pm 
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Is it time for txt damage control?

I was having a lively back and forth with a target that I meet on Saturday.

Sent my txtMsg yesterday (Sunday 23) first sort of light sexual innuendo (highlighted) txt to her and I haven't heard back yet (Time of post Monday 24)

txt trascript:

0: Thx 4 ur take on my mo-hawk I've decided to keep it a while and see if it grows (get it) on me. :D So what mischief did u end u causing after u left the art fair?

Target: Nothing too big... I didn't stay much longer and I had a family thing last night What about you? Exciting weekend?

0: Bough some very man-tastic jewelry ;). Did a bit of Iron Man training. Went out and busted a very serious move. And saved the internet all in one night! Al gore would be so proud of me.

Target: WOW! You were productive. Very Impressed When do you race?

First Tri is next weekend. Can't wait! (shiver) it so great the speed the challenge + it give me yet 1 more reason to run around in a Speedo. Ur welcome to the visual ;)


No response 24 hours latter.

Hummmm... now that I look at this it my part smacks of effort and try hard. I totally forgot the principal of mirroring her responses. Also it looks like I'm only talking about my self; a great way to kill attraction in any medium.


I guess my questions to the room is:


1) How do you interpret it when you are having a lively back and forth with a woman and then all of a sudden it stops. For me I got to "O shit I said the wrong thing, or moved to fast and she's pissed"

2) How long should you wait before sending a re-engaging text (one specific to this situation would be very appreciated if any one has any ideas)

Also a general over arching question that if any one wants to comment on:

How do you slow play your text messages, build attraction and set up a day 2 with out it seem like your trying too hard?

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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 1:42 am 
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Never assume it's something you did that stopped the text chain unless you did something REALLY stupid, otherwise you're being insecure. You are being insecure about it. Probably she just dropped her phone in the toilet. Who cares. You already know what you're doing wrong in your responses. Don't try to build attraction over text, it's impossible. Text is only for setting up a meeting and maintaining sexual tension when you're in a relationship as far as I'm concerned.

So moving on from here, you only need two texts. One to get her attention and then one to set up a day 2. I don't know how best to get her attention, you know the girl. Just make sure it's something interesting that she probably never got before that will make her want to respond. Ask a question for best results. After she responds, take whatever she says and transition it into a date suggestion. "Yeah, you're right. Hey, I was thinking we need to go to ____ at 3 o clock Thursday." Just don't be boring, engage her. I have a feeling you already know all this, though.


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:52 am 
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Quote:
Don't try to build attraction over text, it's impossible.
Says who? Mystery Or Deangelo?

Text game plays a big part in my world. For sure don't dwell on it and over-use it but most certainly do use it to spark further interest and to have FUN with her. Text is also great as one has time to plan the response, and its exciting for her.

Texts can get her hooked and get her WANTING to see you. I never set up dates via text, call her to do this. Use texts for random fun flirty messages to let her know shes on your mind every now and then and play with her, it works wonders if done right (she will eventually start initiating the texting too if she finds you fun).

I think a lot of the so-called gurus preach not to text to build attraction because most guys cock it up before they've even got the date. At least if you dont play via text then you have less of a chance of cocking it up before you even see her.


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 6:18 pm 
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Says me, otherwise I would've cited someone. I'm a pretty smart guy, and I pride myself on my writing ability, but if you don't really know a girl, it's too easy to bore her with text, or accidentally offend her if you're trying to be witty. It's too easy to misinterpret without tone of voice. Yeah, I say you're better off avoiding it unless it's going to be a week until you see the girl, in which case it is a good idea to drop her one just to let her know she was on your mind. And when I say you can't build attraction, I mean you can't build attraction over text. You can maintain it, that's about it, you can't really escalate.


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 8:46 am 
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Quote:
Says me, otherwise I would've cited someone. I'm a pretty smart guy, and I pride myself on my writing ability, but if you don't really know a girl, it's too easy to bore her with text, or accidentally offend her if you're trying to be witty. It's too easy to misinterpret without tone of voice. Yeah, I say you're better off avoiding it unless it's going to be a week until you see the girl, in which case it is a good idea to drop her one just to let her know she was on your mind. And when I say you can't build attraction, I mean you can't build attraction over text. You can maintain it, that's about it, you can't really escalate.
I hear you, however I do believe one can build attraction. Freeze outs alone get her jittery and thinking about whether you will ever respond. This immediately ups your value,shows you may have a busy life, shows you're not that into her, and a million other reasons. This all can contribute to BUILDING attraction. Of course this shouldn't be your only form of contact!!! It should be used sparingly as you may cock it up by sending misinterpreted msg's as you said.

Dont underestimate text though, it can be powerful (especially for sex chat and turning things hot).


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