Ok, so PUA is all about getting girls to sleep with you without necessarily caring about the relationship part. What if you're a friend of the girl already though... and she decides she wants to sleep with you, but makes it clear she doesn't see you as a LTR. Assume you also don't see her as an LTR either.

Would you game her differently than a girl you were JUST picking up? Especially if she was a friend from before you started PUA?

My thoughts are that she knows me well enough that if I suddenly started using tons of game stuff on her, it would quickly become incongruent. Plus I've always been AFC with this girl, and that got me into her bed in the first place.

That said, I think I still need to apply some things to build/maintain that initial attraction...

Have any of you been in a similar situation?



Hopefully this doesn't come off as a repeat of my other thread... but I started thinking of this a little more generically so thought I'd try to get thoughts from a different perspective.

Well first off, don't all of a sudden come onto her as a person who you're really not. Like you said...you're friends with her, and she has a good perspective on your personality..etc. etc.

I would honestly just invite the gal to your place, pop in a movie, and use some kino-escalation on her. (Touch her thigh while sitting close, play with her hair, graze her arm)...anything to show that you're still the same guy, but you're attraction for her is definitely there.

While escalating up this kino ladder, take note of her calibration and her congruency towards the moves you're making on her.

But as you said, she knows a LTR wont come out of this, and she's attracted to you. So it sounds to me like you just need to initiate some intimate physical contact with her. Given that you've already gotten the green light, take some action.

What about actually getting her over? Knowing that she's willing and has gone for it a few times... what would you say, and how often would you ask? If she turns you down a night or two in a row?


Right now pretty sure I've made some mistakes, but if I can get this back on track I'd like to make fewer. Or at least next time I have a chance like this maybe I'll handle it better.

has she already been to your house after she said she was willing to sleep with you?

Yes, but typically we sleep at her place. We don't always have sex, and have not actually had sex at my place.

The long version is here: fwb-losing-interest-vt67588.html?highlight=

Basically we've been at this for around 2 months, and just a little last week she started seeming less eager and since last Thursday she's turned me down every time I asked to "get together."

My thoughts are either:
1) I got too needy by asking to come over so often and she lost attraction to me (or it was just about comfort for her, and now that she's over her ex she doesn't need that anymore.)

2) I overstepped my bounds by saying it was nice to be alone with her after everyone else went home from a bar and she thought that meant I wanted a relationship when I didn't mean that. I just meant I could do some kino...

3) She's getting back together with her ex, and not telling me. She's actually taking a trip with him next weekend, but didn't want to tell me who it was with because "I'd ask questions." That made it perfectly clear who it was, and when she mentioned it Monday I called her on it and then immediately dropped it... so she'd know I knew and didn't care.

4) There's another guy she's been cuddly with in public, she's stated before she would never sleep with him... but who knows. Maybe he's taking care of her now.

I kinda think it's 2, but a very strong argument could be made for 1. I'm inclined to think that in 3 she'd just tell me, or that not telling me means she still wants to fool around with me on the side. 4... I don't know, the guy is married but in an open relationship and generally she's stated she doesn't think much of tat arrangement. On the other hand, she was also talking about how lonely he must be since his wife is out of town...

i see i see. good points.

have you two ever hooked up? (more than kissing)

Yes, we've had sex several times since this arrangement started. Most recently last Tuesday. She's actually the one who took my virginity.

ah i see, i previously thought that you were trying to get the first f-close with her


so what is the main question here?

I feel like I screwed up the arrangement since she hasn't wanted to get together in over a week. I'm wondering (from this thread) how I could have avoided screwing up and (in the other thread) if it's reparable at this point...

have you taken account to the possibility that shes found another guy?

possibly one who she's willing to enter a LTR with...

That were points 3 and 4 previously... but then, why wouldn't she just tell me when I asked if our arrangement was ending?

Yes, it will likely come off as incongruent, if you are very 'gamey'. I've had it happen to me in the past. The key is to work new things into your personality. So for example, if you were to take an improv class and become more humorous, you would still seem like you (hopefully), only a little funnier. People might comment on the difference between the old and new you, but they won't give you grief over it.

Many people will avoid telling you when a situation has changed, just because they don't want the confrontation. Blowing people off is easier.

Actually I am taking improv classes!



So what's the possibility of fixing this? Assuming she isn't actually getting back together with her ex or another guy? I'm being advised by some women on a dating forum to just stop contacting her at all...

Though one said I should tell her something like "I feel like I've been over-eager about sleeping with you and that's moving our relationship in an unhealthy direction. I'm going to back off a bit and let you set the pace."

I don't know, though... I liked it at first but now I wonder if it's too "heavy" when I should be trying to get things back to being light...

only 1 thing to do ...
its easier to Forget about things and start new ones, than it is to fix this , rather complicated problem.

Get another fuck buddy, no big deal nothings a big deal brah

_________________
Anxiety can kiss my ass and temptation can lick my ball sack

Wish I could... unable to do that really though. Sexual dysfunction, being with someone new is difficult... hell, being with HER is still iffy.