Sorry if it's the wrong part of the forum but i did not find where this would suit best I must add that i'm French, some words or phrases might be a bit confused.

The title says it all actually ! I met a girl a few years ago totally randomly, it was very short with some kino and i later managed to get into contact with her. We started to see each other but at the time i was really "low" : no confidence, totally into her with almost no other friends and acquaintances in this new city... I was - and still am in some extent, though i begin to be aware of it and its danger - the nice guy, as stupid as to think that talk and our French 'romanticism' might be the most effective seduction. Do not laugh, today i very well know it was meant to be fucked up. We started to be quite close and she invited me to her place but the damage had already done, i had some feelings and had akwardly suggested it (don't know if the word is correct). So what was our first and only moment together at her place was not so great... Some time after that, we just moved on and had no more contact.

Then i recontacted her (almost two years ago). It was easier for me though i found her as hot as ever. We started to get to know each other better, then i had a girlfriend (and she found a boyfriend) which was part of today's problem : we saw each other more and more, very often with only the two of us. I was sure that it was over but i realised that i dit not love my girlfriend as much as i thought and that i was still very much into my "friend".

My friend was dumped by her boy a few months before i was as well. It was a very good kick in the ass for me. I had totally become the shadow of myseld, and being more or less an AFC you can imagine how bad it can be. It was last summer, and i resumed sport, started to make new friends, etc. I learned that i had to be less dependent on girls and some of my "victories" were to be able to reject girls that did not show enough interest or did not prove enough for me. I also manage to be a bit more "cool" when i met a girl that i like, no more bullshit messages, trying to go out with her and show me as the prize.

The problem is, we spend an awful lot ot time together with my friend since last summer. She had major personal issues, esp. psychological ones. She was part of my reconstruction after my break-up, she helped me at the beginning. Then i helped her and she trusted me as much as to reveal things of her past (sexual abuses, etc). We became closer and closer and i was fucked up once more.

Being single i resumed my interest in her, but i could not be the 'player' who will play his game or next her, i cannot just pull and push her or nor be there for her. Because i really like her as a person and she almost committed suicide. I do not care to be judged about this, i can't let her down and she often thanks me for it. This is obviously weird because i cannot be at the same time this sort of friend and attractive, mysterious, etc.

Lately, i began to 'test' more kinos on her. Touching her hair, her legs, hugging her... Sexual allusions are a lot present, we even slept together (no fucking), she asked me for a massage while almost entirely naked... I know she trusts me and might see this as a non-question, but this is fucking tougher and tougher to deal with. Some people in our parties think we're together as we're quite close, always together (and i constantly tease her).

This is a tough situation. I voluntarily fucked up some possibilities as well (like the massage or when sleeping together) because of her sexual abuses. This is still very much a huge trauma for her so i cannot be foolish and do everything that goes in my mind to her body. She also had a breast operation recently - partly because of her difficult relation with her body and self-esteem - and makes it clear that now she wants someone that really respects her body, we're a bit touchy (? we makes some kinos if you prefer) but i've seen her dislike some male contacts, and i'm just learning to test kinos on her. Doubt it'd be enough though !

At the time being, she's interested by a man at her work (he has a gf) and it's even tougher for me to see her write him a few things and try to gain some attention from him.

Sorry this was long, but on an English board i feel more secure to reveal some details

My question(s) is how can i get out of this friendzone ? Considering that i don't want and cannot really get totally away from her.

ONEITIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dude, the friends zone can be pretty cool. Just enjoy what you have with her, and don't try to climb out of the pit of the friends zone. Just find other women to be intimate with, especially since it seems you have reservations about having sex with her.

you CAN get out of the friend zone, it's almost impossible but you can do it
Don't suggest anything don't "talk about it" and don't try to forcefully DO HER

She want's to be atracted to you, emotionally, she want's you (sleep together, massage?) she trys to open a window for you

And you need to use those windows, and escalate to a kiss, here's something form a while ago
You see it's adorable its not a "player vibe" thing (well a bit, but you can change it to suit you, you get the general idea)

THE MOMENT, is well, you know, it's quite you just hugged, maybe you both are a bit tipsy, and then youre faces are kind of close, youre looking at each other and then the kiss just HAS to happen
and DON'T spoil it with logic or talk about (this is REALLY important, pick up is EMOTIONAL not logical)

... although I would still recommend a GFTOW, it's funner

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Thx for the answers And esp. for the tip StreetLight

Well, i managed it on my own actually. My "friend" and I spent a few nights together, the last one leading to many things.

I might have done wrong by being available for her all these evenings and nights but it allowed me to spare some time with her. She needed some affection and i could make a lot of kinos, in fact we hugged a lot, etc. The last night she kept asking for a massage. I tried to tease her a little by saying things like "ok... but a little later" and she kept asking more and more. I finally did it and after it she was in my arms totally naked above. This time i could not do anything but start to caress her. I think i did it quite well, just her body at the beginning but non sexual zones, the the edge of her breasts, some kisses on her shoulders, etc. And then i finally went for it and the caresses became sexual. She responded very well to it so i got rid of her last clothes. She's so gorgeous

I licked her some time and she enjoyed it, than we "played" a little. But there's a huge 'but' as all did not go very well. I think we played too long before making love and it was getting difficult to remain "strong" for such time (we spent hours doin' this between the massage and the time we decided to sleep). So we did make love but not totally, that's a rough point and a bad one

The point now is how do i handle all of this ? Because she more or less implied it was some pleasure that night in particular, and we had drunk a little (i was not drunk at all though). I mean, i really like her and being with her, the way we see things... I just love her body as well, so i'd want us to try some couple thing.