I have a date with this chick I really like, so I sent her a box of chocolates in the mail. She called me up and she was all like "Oh wow, you're so amazing, nobody ever did anything like that for me". I could tell she was thrilled.

I figure I did pretty good, right? I DHVed by showing I can afford to send her chocolate, and I showed I really liked her at the same time. Now I have some decent leverage to take things further on our date, because she knows I am a good catch who will treat her well, and maybe she feels like she owes me one.

Wait,is this a trick(lol)???

Im waiting for the lughters(lol).

Sambuca,are you serious or just fucking around?

What is wrong with you man!!!?

I cant even get angry at you.

I still dont believe you did that(lol)!

Thats the most lamest/wussy/nice-guy shit you could ever do!!

You've violated the #1 rule of the seduction community-not being a nice guy or wuss.

You dont send chocolate to a girl who hasnt yet desrved it.

Did you f close her yet? No! Then she didnt earn chocolate yet!

Have you kiss closed her yet? No!Then she doesnt deserve anything.

Why are you rewarding her yet?

You dont have any leverage to now escalate!

You're virtually buying this girl's affection!

You dont do that.

Gifts,etc. are for LTR(long-term relationships)or at least a chicc you've alredy laid or dated.

I was like you many years ago.

Oh course the girl's gonna say,"that was nice of you".

Any girl would say that despite hating the guy.

Plus,where the hell did you get that from? some relationship website(lol)?

I know you could not have read that in any pick-up website(surprising a date with chocolate).

Plz,redeem youself and tell this girl that you're pretty sorry for sending the chocolates.

I still cant believe you did that!!!

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No, it isn't a joke... I did wrong? Maybe I've been reading the wrong relationship sites, because I've been reading the PUA stuff to learn how to talk to girls, but also reading other relationship sites to learn how to behave in a relationship. Other sites say stuff like girls enjoy flowers and chocolate and stuff.

I mean, I don't just want to seduce this girl, I really want to have a relationship with her. So I thought chocolate and stuff was justified, because I want a relationship. I want her to think I'm a nice guy.

I haven't kissed her yet, or anything else... but I'll get the chance on our date, right? And now she already thinks I'm a keeper. I guess I sort of felt like the chocolate was justified because we spent so much time talking on the phone and I really want to keep her interested - the chocolate is like a reward for all the attention she has given me on the phone and in text chat. I thought buying her chocolate was leverage to kiss her on our date, cos she's already convinced I am great.

I clearly suck at getting girls to want to date me. She seemed so pleased too

I hear you Sambuca.

And that's the ultimate goal of anyone;to eventually find a good girl and a decent relationship.

You're not unique in that desire.

Still,there are certain ways of going about it.

You went about it the wrong way.

Whether you desire a SNL(one night stand)or a LTR(long term relat'),you must go about the courting the same way.

You shouldnt be desiring an LTR with this chicc or any other before you even read her intentions.

For all you know,this girl may just be a fun-girl who enjoys flings.

By you being all wussy/romantic,you're killing your chances.

Flowers and all that romantic stuff is BS(at this stage especially).

She'll accept your gifts and all that but wont go any further with you.

You're gonna become the nice guy who buys her flowers & romance her while she sleeps with a scumbag bad boy who doesnt do shit for her.

I've been there. I wrote a post a while ago about how in my AFC days,I sent a rose,heart & box of chocolate to an OYD(object of my desire).

She eventually kept ducking me(unknowing to me why at the time).

And I eventually heard she was screwing 2 jerks who abuses her.

Im not telling you to be a jerk/bad boy. Well I am.

What Im saying is you should incorporate some bad boy/jerk personalities into your repetoire.

Like stop complimenting,stop pleasing,stop sucking up,stop begging,stop being(so)nice...

The advises that generic dating sites give are all bullshit.

She'll accept your offrings until she gathers the nerve to turn you down.

Now,Im at an advanced stage of social dynamics & seduction,so I can afford to pull off some romantic stuff because I get the psycology of it.

But at your stage,pulling off a romantic gesture is suicide.

You are comings off as needy;which is a DLV(turn off).

If I were to hand a date a box of chocolate,this's the frame & vibe I'd come off with

Me:[Handing her the chocolates]Hey,I busted my ass finding these for you so your ass better eat them.

With that frame,she wont interpret it as needy,supplicative nor aiming to please.

But with your frame,it's aiming to please.

Get your game together. Read some articles on being the alpha male, or being a bad boy or jerk.

Tons of online- pick up articles on how not to be a wussy or nice guy.

Read some like I did years ago.

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I know enough about this girl to know that she's looking for a relationship, not a fling. I know she really likes me and has agreed to date me, and that she's not seeing anyone else, nor does she sleep around outside of an exclusive relationship. Of course, I only have her word for it, but she seems like a genuinely nice girl.

I intended to come off as nice, not needy - I wanted her to see me as someone who cares about her and looks after her. I admit I was aiming to please, but I didn't realise that was such a bad thing. I mean, we're beyond the initial pickup and we've racked up a significant amount of hours chatting and are good friends, so I figured I could buy her chocolate to cheer her up and make her see me as a loving and giving kind of guy.

You think she's put off by receiving chocolate, regardless of what she says about being pleased?

This guy is bluffing hahaha, great joke mate!

Showing her how nice you are and how much you like & care for her by buying her stuff is the wrong approach.

Every other guy does that,so you're being the same instead of different.

Other guys my not give her choco',but they buy the most expensive champagne,select the priciest restaurant,order her the most expensive dish,etc.

You are being the same as every other guy but in a different way.

What impressed & attracts woman is when you can be diferent and difficult.

You've already told her that you like her.

Where's the suspense man?

You're laying it all out there.

She'll eventually get tired of your niceness.

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k-loc has made some good points man.

Just wondering, did you ask her out on a date, or did you ask her if she wants to start dating? Big difference there and I couldn't tell which one it was in your post.

Anyways, I think your best bet now is to NOT be a nice guy on the date. I'm not saying be an asshole, and definitely don't just ignore her or be quiet b/c then she'll think you're boring. I would just hold back all compliments until the very end of the night, and don't even say anything too nice. Just tell her you had a really good time or something. Don't start raving about how gorgeous and amazing she is. I guess maybe the best way I could put it is stay pretty chill all night.

Good luck buddy, I hope you can redeem yourself and save whatever you guys have

Good insight Canadiandude.

I didnt really get neither if it's just a date or dating.

That was really funny Trixsta(lol);he DHV'd by showing he can fford choco'(lol)!

Hey Sambuca,we're not making this a joke.

We just want you to realize where you're going wrong.

Yall have shared many convos' as you said. But I can guarantee you were the most emotional & sentimental out of the 2.

Leave the emotional stuff for the woman to tangle with.

Gunning for a relationship is emotional stuff.

Let me gun for a relationship,not you.

After you've laid this girl,then you can send a million box of chocolate-not before.

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We're going on a date next week, it's all arranged, and she is the relationship kind of girl. She says she really likes me, she seeks my company online and in calls/texts all the time, so I think the chances of it turning into a relationship are pretty good.

Isn't it a DHV if I demonstrate that I have money to spare?

So I need to be less nice to her? Won't she think I'm just a jerk like other guys?

Still be nice but just don't treat her like you've been dating for awhile (chocolates and roses are the type of thing not to do yet). A perfect way to show that you have money on a first date would be paying for her supper/drinks/movie entry/ice cream, etc.

fuck no, don't pay for her shit on a FIRST date

maybe later on, but not first date or before.

The only time you should be paying that early is on a 'you didn't bring enough money so I'll cover it, but it better not happen again" type frame.

do you want this girl to like you or your money?

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Now I have to disagree at this point; it seems reasonable for the guy to pay if he invites a lady on a date. I can't see a girl agreeing to a second date if the guy who invited her out isn't gentlemanly enough to pay.

Well I wasn't saying it is a must to pay for her meal on the first date. But if that's how this guy really wants to roll, by showing that he is financially steady then I feel that'd be better than sending her chocolates out of nowhere.

You're right though KristallNachte, no one should want a girl who likes him for his money.

But every girl will go on a second date with a guy confident enough to not think he needs to pay to keep her.

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