Hey,
I need your help because I have no idea what to do. I met this girl a couple of days ago at a salsa dancing social. I'm a "pro" and she is a beginner so it was easy to attract her. She was flirtatious with all other guys, but got back only to me. I had to leave early, so I used "what is the way to continue in this chat?" and she asked me to facebook her. I expected a phone number, but OK. We talked a bit and I've found out this:
- she has been in a relationship for a about an year
- she only loves that guy as a friend or family, but cares about him and won't cheat on him
- that guys isn't fun
- i'm fun
- she is the one who usually starts talking to me on FB (i reply every other time)
- she flirts a lot, but on intentionally (maybe because she isn't happy with the relationship and needs more fun?)
- she asked me whether I think that she flirted with me and lead me on or not. i told her no and asked whether she flirted and she said no

The question is. Should I leave her or should I go for it? How should I break the "I'm in a relationship" barrier if I go for it? I'm just visiting LA (going back to Europe in 2 weeks) and my friends told about some nice place close to where she lives. I asked her about it and she actually wanted to join me. So we are meeting tomorrow (I would be surprised if she comes with her bf and it will be three of us).

So what should I do??

you want to break up her relationship even though your moving back to europe in two weeks?

I would go for it. I know alot for PUA's say not to break a relationship up but...I'm a Sith. Evil to the bone. Meet up with her and either bring a pivot or game another girl at the club or bar or wherever just to add a little jealousy to the mix. Then just go heavy kino. Use the dancing as an excuse to get close and touch. She's obviously into you. Just be discreet and escalate. Have your logistics ready before you go. If you need a discreet location to take her to, have it set up before hand. Show her that your fun and being with you is more fun than she can handle. Then pull the trigger.

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"You can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent" - Jake Green

I'm not a PUA yet. My plan is not to break her relationship, but to make her take what she wants (and it looks like it's me ). As I mentioned, she told me that she doesn't love him and doesn't want to be with him forever...

I've been a nice guy and I've suffered a lot because of that. I also regretted it several times. I want to try how it is to be someone else. I'll see how it goes, because I haven't done anything like this before.

the goal isn't to get with her and destroy her relationship. its to teach her to do what is best for her sometimes.

waiting around in a bad relationship isn't good for anyone.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Maybe you've been friendzoned - I can't really tell without more information. But the IOI's are there and maybe she's looking for a perfect excuse to end it with her lame bf.

I would go for it man, what's the worst that can happen?

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Yeahh

The niceguy never gets the girl is what I first thought of when i read this. You obviously have some bad experience with a guy stealing your girl in whatever scenario. Don't become the thing you hate and 'steal' her from him. Letting her go however isn't an option either. Make her realize what she really wants and let her breakup before you get her into bed. Atleast then she's the badguy (or badgirl?) and not you. She obviously likes you and if she really did she'd do that for you, atleast.

So, we had a lot of fun, spent a lot of time together but I can't get rid of being a nice guy. One of the reasons is, that I know how it feels when a girl who you trust cheats on you. I could do it, everything was "prepared". And I realise that there is a big chance that some other guy, who isn't that nice will do it a bit later. So the biggest question is (and I hope to get a good advice), how will I stop being such a nice guy...

Why do you need to stop "being a nice guy"

Just become a "nice guy who gets laid a lot"

I don't want to stop being gentleman That's the difference. I want to stop being a nice guy who cares about other people that much (usually much more than about myself what is contra-productive)

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Who will judge what is right?

Now seriously. I haven't experienced anything like this before. So many opportunities, but the "nice guy" in me just keeps winning. She was looking into my eyes and my lips without blinking, but I'd rather started talking about something instead of escalating or kissing her. Another thing is, that I've started liking her a bit more and that's what usually tightens my hands. So letting the "nice guy" winning is the worst option.

Please, don't think about what is right. Advice me something, a couple of steps to follow or anythingelse, which makes me less nice. The thing is, that it not good for life at all, when I care about other more than I care about me. I don't want to be mean, just have to try how it is when I'm not a nice guy. And this is the best opportunity, because if it goes the worst ever, I'll be on the other side of the planet in a couple of days... It's possible, that I've been nice for too long and she will lose interest. Others will come. The main target is not her, but winning over that "nice guy" in me... I don't want to "hate" myself

The result: probably screwed it up...

I've started being involved after that couple of times we were out. I've started thinking too much and because of the pressure cause by leaving on Saturday, I pushed it too hard after doing not enough.

Lesson learned: when anything comes on your mind, do it WHEN it comes on your mind before it's too late. Because once you start thinking about it, you'll overthink it and very likely screw it up.

I didn't care about seeing her again when we went out for the first time. But I started thinking about it afterwards and wanted to see her again because we had an amazing time. I didn't show her that I wasn't not afraid of losing her what gave her the power to lead it... Because I was afraid of not seeing her again

You said she cares about him and won't cheat on him. That right there should cause you to back off, in my opinion.

She's not throwing herself at you. It seems like she's doing this (dancing) for some fun (I know alot of girls who are in committed relationships who are just really friendly and may come off as flirty, but they would never cheat).

To each their own, but that's my moral input.

I agree, I won't do anything with a girl in a good relationship. But a girl in a good relationship doesn't invite herself to spend a whole day with you, doesn't invite herself to your place in the evening after that day, doesn't look into your eyes and your lips without blinking for a couple of seconds. I haven't done anything because I was being moral. But now I know that I didn't have to be.

I was a competitive dancer, so I don't get nuts when girl dances extremely sensually with me