Basically I finally got this girl I've chased for months to agree to a date, but I was bored at work and made the error of texting her the day before which I see now was stupid because I had nothing to gain, and did in fact scew it up or gave her the excuse to back out/test me or what ever shes doing. Lesson learned.

I texted her a couple things teasing her clearly just having fun like we had been having the entire pick up, and she either really is an idiot and didnt get them which I just can't belive or pretended to misinterpret it as a way to blow me off to see how I would react or if she really did want to back out. Either way told me to leave her alone, which she has before so this is nothing new, shes all about games.

Now the stuff I said was hardly anything to warrant this, and was actually super mild from the stuff I’ve said to her in the past. The vibe I got and makes me think this was some sort of test to see if id apologize or how badly I wanted the date and was willing to strech myself because this chick has been nothing but a giant test. I texted her the next day to give me directions because I was going to pick he up at her house as if nothing happened but she didnt' text me back. (her phone only text BTW ive tried to call)

How should I handle this. I REALLY want this particular girl and had her commited to a date, so advice like “forget her move on” really isn’t going to very useful to me even if in theory I agree shes a pain in the ass, ive recovered from worse with her to at least get the numer and I have little doubt she is into me I just seems like I have to jump though a couple more hoops, but this is one I could use some advice on handling.

My gut says dont appoligize and call her on this, so should I text her in a couple days and be like that was horse shit.

PUAdave . . .

Take a look at the above and switch all the "I and me" with "she and her". Wasn't all the months of playing games enough for you? Why do you insist on playing these childish games? You finally stepped it up somehow and secured yourself a date. Did you secure the date by "teasing" her with stupid shit or did you secure the date by offering FUN?

Then why did you regress to your old self-cock-blocking crap?
Really? Do you really, really, really think this? Well the thing is, it doesn't matter what you think because you're not asking yourself out. what's important is what she thinks. You got her to the point of accepting the date. She's thinking, "whew, OK . .. finally done with all that bullshit. We're going out!!! What should I wear? Will he kiss me? Oh my God, finally!!!" . . . Then you just couldn't resist . . .
I don't know what you told her but isn't your "gut" the reason why you wasted all those months with all that bullshit? Isn't your "gut" the reason why you just cock blocked yourself? Go to the mirror, flip up your shirt and tell your gut, "You are an idiot." Your "gut" just ruined a potentially incredible romantic union of two people. Your gut is a disservice to the both of you.

What you did was idiotic and you know it. Start using your brain. You've let this 14 year old crap go waaaay too long and then you punctuated it with 12 year old shit. Continuing with your childish crap and projecting your frustrations on her with talk of "horse shit" won't get you any where.

THIS IS WHAT TO DO: Call her up as soon as possible. Every day that goes by, she's shoving you down her shit list deeper and deeper. Then you APOLOGIZE. Yes, you apologize. You tell her that you're sorry and that you acted like a jack ass because you were nervous. And you tell her that you were nervous because you think that she is special and that you didn't want to put pressure on her. Tell her that you VALUE her friendship and that you don't want to play silly games with her any more. Tell her, "Let's just go to _______ as good friends and just have fun."

Two initial answers:

1. OK (If so, stop with your stupid shit!! Go, have fun . . . hold her hand, laugh . . . do what two ADULTS who are into each other do when they go out)

2. No (Then you fucking hold that frame and continue with your new no-bullshit self. As long as you can muster the strength to continue acting like an adult, she will ABSOLUTELY come around. Fall back to your childish crap and well, by now, you should be well aware of what that will get you.)

This is one girl of a (hopefully) long series of girls you will have over your long life. You're making too big a deal out of this one girl. Be fun, be playful, but don't fuck yourself over by being a dope around the ladies.

Not trolling you, bud but I think texting is for children. Call me old school but there has to be a point in one's life when "OMG LOL UR MY BFF" punched out with your thumbs on a little electrified chip of plastic is just not cool anymore.

Have you asked yourself whether this girl is an approval whore?

I personally don't believe there is really such a thing anymore, at least initally. I think for the most part girls that are catagorized as that and have guys under their thumb, were attracted to those guys an were flirty with them because there was interest orginally. You don't flirt with people you dont like because you don't want to give them the wrong impression IMO and for chicks mentally unstable guys could be dangerous. Once the guy got weak and choded out then they might use them for kicks unless it gets weird, because he's there asking for it as a joke. I don't think they even like it for the most part doing research and talking to females about this.

As far as this girl, this is embarassing, she makes me crazy and Ive fucked it up so bad in so many places with stupid games. I took kasibi's good advice and just put it out there and appoligized even if it sunk my value. She says shes not interested and that im a jerk. Shes probably given me a dozen chances. I guess its back to putting the warm milk out and hoping i get lucky 13. Ive gotting ok with other women but this has been a disaster.

I even felt like a 5th grader writting on the black board. Anymore advice Kasibi.

Rely on your brain, not your "gut". What you did just raised your value. You've become a man. Her reaction was to be expected but if I told you that she'd tell you, "Fuck you, don't call me again," you might have relied on your gut again and told her that she's full of horse shit.

Now stick to your guns. In no way am I telling you to become wuss and simply take her bullshit, (She will most likely dish out some more self defensive negativity when you are around) but continue to be a gentleman. Use your brains, use humor, be an adult . . . SHE WILL COME AROUND.

Her: Look at this shit head. What the hell do you want?
You: Get off of your high horse loser.

is not the same as

Her:Look at this shit head. . .
You: Ouch! You got me. I'm thinking of a clever reply . . . hmm . . . nope, I can't think of any.

is not the same as

Her: Look at this shit head. . . .
You: Come on, don't call me that . . .

Are you getting it? One of the three above can be followed up with an offering of "warm milk", the other two are bridge burners.

Hopefully it sinks in this time because you’re right and what you have said will happen has in fact already happened twice which is the sad reflection on just how badly ive botched this pick up. You know what else, each of those times I got the number and the date, I relize I appoligised too and dropped the jerk persona and was real and was like I think your cute, id like to get your number/take you out. Hopefully I get the third strike and lose it on being myself and not some jerk persona ive kept on way to long battling with her bitchy girl persona which she had finally dropped. Thanks for your help. Shit like this makes me relize just how far I have to go.

Well she texted me the next night at 2:20 am needing a ride from downtown, which I would have gave her and would have probably scored me some points. Unfortunately I was out of town and had a big meeting at work so I just rolled back over and went to sleep. Well that got me more in the doghouse for not responding until the next morning.

Anyway I texted later in the week just asked how things were going, normal conversation, we had a nice chat until I ignored some good advice Warped Mindless gave me about not mentioning any of the argument. It was going well so I said something about making up and her last response was 'that's it" so I just said good night and didnt text her anymore this week. I did see her this weekend and she hardly looked at me and she had a guy with her so who knows, probably screwed this one up beyond repair this time.

On a brighter note I did go out with with an equally hot chick this weekend though that I really didnt think I had a chance with and it went very well. I had got her number in 2 minutes but bumped into later that weekend and I really thought she wasnt interested after talking, but I took a shot anyway so set up a date with her and seems like she was keeping me at arms length it seems as well because she didnt know my interest.

What I realise now is I was playing those coy games with her too and not putting myself out there totally because I was worried about getting rejected I guess. It didnt kill me with this one and luckly I realized it and was able to cut the shit before I screwed it up too. Its good it seems for building the attraction and not being boring and getting interest from the 10's, but Im having a hard time transitioning and turning it off for these really hot chicks I notice. The 7's I dont even put on a pick up persona, Im just say hi and have a take it or leave it attitude, and thats how i see I need to treat these 10's too. I havent been scoring with 10's though so ive been trying to do a different game when it should be no different and pick up should be the same for a 7 or a 10 and I've treated it differently I see now. Interesting revalation. These were certainly the hottest two chicks ive ever secured dates with though so its progress at least.

Dude, I'm rooting for you!! In all honesty, you are one crazy, inexperienced, self-cock-blocking son of a bitch! I mean, you've basically taken an open vagina and sealed it up with a thread of insecure, immature bullshit. You already know this.

But you're honest. You're honest to yourself and you accept your faults . . . and you're correcting them as you go. This is the formula for Victory. The capital V is for all the fucking legs that you will eventually form huge V's for you in short order. Just be aware of yourself and things will progress.

What you're experiencing isn't too different from the experiences of all the other guys in the World. You're at a crossroads. Those idiots who go through the shit you've been through and delude themselves to think that they are PUAS and they have nothing to learn as they type of pages upon pages of excuses will remain EXACTLY as they are. . . Insecure virgins until an aunt introduces them to some fat, ugly, angry chick to marry when they are 40 years old. Then, even the fatty, ugly girl will end up cheating on these idiots due to simple boredom.

You're one or two girls away from taking this game to any direction of your choice.

Hey Kasabi, the term self-cock blocking I haven't heard before. Can you give examples?

update time for anyone interested.

1st thanks Kasabi. Everyone else I asked on several boards pretty much said dont apologize. EVERYONE. I took your advice and just as you said the chick seemingly came around. Took a couple weeks more of rotating between either ignoring me or being a total bitch to me when we did talk, and a good bit more of me saying super chody shit you suggested like "i think you're special" and really laying it on thick but eventually she agreed to go out with me and seemed genuinely excited about it. Even texted me a day after saying she was excited about going.

Ok so after working my ass off to get this date and basically what felt like groveling getting out the doghouse, the chick fucking oversleeps through our date. Im just like I cant believe this chick has stood me up, and I get a text saying how sorry she was she had falling asleep napping. 1st thought was it's a test or this chicks fucking with me ands been fucking with me the whole time, and this chick think so litte of our date that she sleeps through it etc.

Good thing I see this is just more of the bad frame thats pretty much derailed this pick up from the start. She's my perfect 10 for sure and I havent been hooking up with girls like this so i get stupid and resort to tactics and always felt like I needed to be doing them to keep her interested, it was when I got real and told her how I felt and stayed real that I got the date again but I still had that seed of doubt she really likes me creepin in I see yet again. Not in my reality yet for a girl at this level still even after all this it shook my reality.

I wanted to type in something mad like "screw u, forget about it" at first because I was pissed, but didnt send it. Got on the chat and Hobbit talked me down. She knew she had messed up and text me back more before I could even respond and appoligized profuesly and said she wanted to make it up to me and still wanted to go out, and that she had had a rough night, and I did see her stumbling the previous night and she was tanked so I believe her.

Your encounter with this girl is pretty interesting and sounds like a University/college, close community kind of a deal. Personally I wouldn't be too excited about a broken date or someone sleeping over an appointment/date/or a chance to meet me. I'd want someone to be excited to meet me. But again you had a rocky start to begin with.

Depending on how apologitic she is, would give you an idea how real it is. Things like this could happen and kudos to you for acting matured and not blowing your top for her missing the date. Also I really liked that you apologized to the girl for being a jerk. When you make a mistake its always good to admit it and apologize for it, nothing wrong or unmanly about that - Kudos to you again !!

My main man PUAdave! This is very, very good. So here's how "writing through issues" works. You've got the first 2 steps down:

1. Write, write, write. What ever the hell you feel, think . . . just WRITE IT.
2. DON'T PRESS the send button!

Instead . . . READ what you wrote. What's going on here? What is the SOURCE of your emotions? How can you better the situation? What are your goals?

3. Now you strategically REVISE what you wrote, keeping mind of your audience(in this case, your girl)
4. Press send.

So let's see how this situation could have worked out. Once you read what you wrote, you realized that you felt "bad" because she stood you up but as you admit, this felt bad because you "thought" that this could be a sign of rejection. So now what must you write?

Your goal is to secure a DATE. Get this and EVERYTHING works out. So how do you do this? You need to let her know that you're a bit disappointed but it's no problem because YOU KNOW you guys are going out. This is a NON-issue. . . You guys are already boyfriend/girlfriends. This is the rock-steady assurance this little girl needs . . . So now, how about something like:
^Just PLOW this shit on . . .

The more you practice the 1,2,3,4, the quicker you'll be able to transition yourself to 3 and 4. With practice, you will eventually begin to REACT with a "strategic voice" instead of quickly resorting to emotional projections that won't get you any where.

The ability to stay rock steady, focused, and progress forward with humor and balance is one of the most incredible qualities of MAN. You can do this . . .

Yeah I actually typed in "fuck you, just forget about it" but didn't send it. I decided to slow down and get some advice from cooler heads before I jumped the gun. I im-ed Hobbit and he told me to chill out basically, that she might have really overslept and to not blow all the hard work id put in. Thanks Hobbit too btw.

Thankfully, because she did genuinely seem sorry and she knew she fucked up because she texted me 20 minutes later before I could even respond while I was thinking what to say something like "you're not going to talk to me anymore?" , seemed to be some concern, I just was honest and said "IDK what to say" so she apologized heavily and more. I just tried to be real cool about it and not even say I was disapointed but I think it was obvious. I just texted back "it's cool, shit happens just didn't know what was going on" she appoligised some more and I just said somethig like I accepted your appolgy and said she could make it up to me later.

Her last text was "haha of course I can". I sense I put this chick on a pedatasl and obviously still think she is higher value because this is how warped my thinking is with this chick because the first thing I thought when I read this was this chick knows she's better than me and's got me or more specifically got over on me and knows im not going anywhere and is back in the power position where she can tool me. Felt like should be neg her or something or make he feel how mad I am. Then I tried to channel you man and thought WTF she's got me, so maybe she'll punish me by fucking me to make it up to me, much better belief and view I can see. Seriously dude you've been my saving grace with this chick. I'd have probably immaturely just held a grudge for a couple weeks like she did and wasted time could be moving this foward.

I honestly wanted to be a little pissy and not contact her for a few days and see if she would contact me 1st of course that was the advice I got from my friends but everytime i feel like I should do something it's been pretty much wrong unless im real honest with myself. Then again I'd really like to talk to her pretty soon and set up a date.

I really like that frame you are talking about setting like we are already a couple. I think it can totally work, because of just how strange this pick up is, we've never been out but we have had tons of conversations via phone, and know about basically everything about each other, have fights etc. So just stick with we are already a couple basicially you say.

^It's entirely too obvious that your girl has very little experience with relationships. She's the classic tease but doesn't even know how she became that way. Guys drool over her and she gets off on it . . . but she desires more.

Learn to appreciate her position and her difficulties and you'll have a better understanding of the situation. She's "popular" with the guys but she never took the dive for a relationship; one wrong move for her and she's labeled the "village whore". One wrong move and a guy fucks her, leaves her, and tells the entire school that she's a cock sucking whore.

She's the branches of a tree that shakes with every little change of the wind(gossip). It's your job to be the ROOT and just be there for her no matter what. This is why the "boyfriend/girlfriend" frame applies to your situation. She's like a 5 year old testing her parents' love by acting out like a MONSTER. She need to be assured that you will always be there to support her. Yeah . . . this is some cheesy ass shit but once you get past her thin, fragile shell, she's going to open up to you big time.

The crazy-ass angry PUA at this point, fucks the girl and moves on to the next girl. I hope that you will appreciate the amount of trust she placed on you and you do what you can to see this thing out . . .