IM BEING PUSHED AND PULLED



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:35 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:59 am
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ok so everytime i try to get some time with this girl or have a conversation, she acts like she dosent have time or is invloved with someone else.(basically like she isnt attracted to me, which she admitted she was) so i ignore her for a day and a half as punishment for her bad behavior, now she's sending me text messages, like "hey stranger"

this is starting to become a problem because she's done this at least 3 times. everytime i tell myself im done here she comes, and when i invest more in her, she's distant.

i think i should start talking to her again but dial down my seduction so it wont make me look so interested(but then again, where will that get me?) what should i do?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:40 am
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It's possible that you are isolating incorrectly... a few things come to mind that are common: 1) not leading (e.g. "here, come with me, I want to show you something"), 2) not having enough comfort with her (given your situation this seems unlikely), 3) have not escalated yet in public.

3 is a big one because if you don't escalate it won't prepare her for it. As soon as she realizes she's going to be alone with you, immediately she's going to think what it would be like in all sorts of scenarios - possibly unconsciously. With escalation you sort of prime the unconscious mind that you are someone she touches (usually people she touches are close friends, family, boyfriend) and therefore she should be comfortable. FYI a lot of this comes from DD, but I think he's right on. Also, remember to escalate very gradually... personally I find playful hitting to be the best way to start.

It's also a little weird that she admitted she was attracted to you, I'm not sure what to do with that yet.

If you are punishing by ignoring, make sure you increase the ignoring period every time she does it. Punishment matches the action; if her repeating the same action makes it worse to you, then increase the punishment. If this has been going on for awhile I would try something like 1-2 weeks. Don't be concerned about losing her, because as of now you haven't lost anything (unless you would really like to be friends too).

The other thing you can do is focus your interest on one of her friends.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 3:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:59 am
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i guess i should have gave some background info, its been about about 4-5 weeks since we've met so i think im well passed, the so called "comfort building" we met up on several different occasions most of them is just us 1 on 1, . we laugh she smiles from ear to ear the whole time(to the point where she has to try and hide it & i bust her on it)
dont have a problem with "isolating" (i use quotes cuz i never use these words outside of the forum)
and every time i try to escalate she uses her "BF" as an excuse(i can handle this)

but i think 1-2 weeks would send a "not interested" vibe more than an "i've been busy"signal
and i would show her friends interest if they were as cute as her, shes an HB8, her friends are 6-7 on good days.

basically i have everything under control, i need help with her being hot and cold all the time. i feel like she's stringing me along from the other side of a fence

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que sara sare, LET THAT SHIT RIDE


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