| I see a lot of myself in you.
Both 17.
Both virgins.
Both overthinkers.
Both never in a relationship.
Rare hookups.
But we also both have an okay social circle and don't have too much of a problem making new friends.
Knowing where to start was my problem at first, and still kind of is. That's the hardest part about this whole PUA thing. If there was one definitive path that led to success with women that worked for everybody, this would be too easy. Everyone would be a pick up artist. It's not like math where there is one right and wrong answer and if you practice you will understand it. Pick up takes a lot more self-analyzing, yet at the same time, too much analyzing and you paralyze yourself.
There are countless paths to take when learning pick up. Lots of methods to learn, things to remember, techniques and tricks and patterns, negs and DHVs and closing and openers and routines. And not only must you know these, you need to know when to use them and how to make them feel natural.
I'll tell you now, don't get too caught up in all of this theory stuff. It's good to know sometimes, but it can do more harm to you than not. I mean, especially since we are both overthinkers so I can relate, if you over think than this stuff will kill your game rather than help it. Keep it simple. Be natural.
Learning on this site, don't take everything at face value. If someone posts advice, or you read a routine or trick or technique, try to take out the moral core of the post and take a minute to ask yourself "How can I relate this to myself and my personality?"
Nothing is ever the last word. Because it worked for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you. Be critical but not overly so. Try it out. If it doesn't work for you, either adjust it or ditch it. If you like it, adapt it.
The learning process is never completely logical. Just because it 'theoretically makes sense' doesn't mean it actually makes sense in reality. Attraction isn't logical either. People will try to explain how attraction works, but it is hard to put into words. We try to explain it but it works in its own unique way that doesn't always make sense. Keep that in mind.
So where do you start? Again, there is no one place to start. The learning process is extremely steep for most aspiring PUAs. It takes a lot of commitment, practice, and desire to better yourself for this to actually do you any favours.
I guess my first suggestion would be to go out in field and just talk to people. You don't need to do anything fancy, just be yourself. See someone you want to talk to and talk to them.
Then, when the day is done, look back on all your approaches and conversations, and analyze them. Look at what you did and just look at what went wrong. You may not know why at this point, but thats what this site is for. If something went unfavourably to you, or if you struggled with something, identify the problem and post it here for others to help you. But first, ask yourself this question: "What did I do wrong?" and actually attempt to answer it yourself. Remember: You know you better than anyone else. Other people's advice is bias, and although it almost always has good value, it is important to value your own opinion equally.
One of the hardest parts about learning PUA are the valleys of self-doubt and lack of confidence that you will find yourself intermittently flowing through. Once in a while you will feel down on yourself because you didn't live up to your expectations. You may feel that you aren't learning it easy enough, or ask yourself why it works for others and not for you. You may feel depressed. It will feel unfair. You won't be satisfied with yourself during these periods.
If you can, learn to get past these feelings. They are all internal. In other words, other people don't see them, other than you being unhappy. They don't see the causes of them. So, they come from you, and you only. It isn't a social thing. It is in your own head. Accept that these feelings come from something completely abstract. You control your own head. So, you decide whether to feel like this or not. It is extremely hard to get over these bumps, but when you do, you will realize something.
Don't seek change too much. Change comes to you from the shadows. You will never 'find' change on your own volition. You might find yourself thinking "something has to change" or something similar. This comes with seeking self improvement. Change doesn't occur if you seek it. I can't explain it, but it is one of those illogical aspects of self improvement. Change just happens, and almost always happens when you least expect it. These things will help you, but you will always be you. Accept that is one of the hardest yet most groundbreaking feats in improving oneself.
This is just advice that I can give you based on my own experiences. Remember, you know yourself better than anyone else. My advice may not apply to you. You may not be able to relate to it. But I hope you read through it and took from it what you could.
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CHAT
