My 'game' (I refer to it as 'game' only because I don't know what else to call it) has suffered a lot lately, and has come to revolve mainly around me being a dick.

It happens a lot when talking to girls, but to guys sometimes too. I'll be talking to them, and I listen to what they say, and then I just pick it apart sarcastically, or make a cynical joke, or kind of playfully make fun of them. "C&F" style.

This hasn't been working for me recently though. As I am talking, I know that I'm being a douchebag. And nobody likes a douchebag just for being a douchebag. And that's all I had going for me.

I was out at a friends last night, and to make a long story short, I had a target and I was going for her. The only thing is, we'd be talking, and I would just make bad jokes and playfully make fun of her. I could tell she was annoyed and uninterested. She even said "Oh my god, I hate you so much right now." Kind of playfully, but behind every joke is a true statement.

I realize that 'game' isn't about being a douchebag. Nobody likes an asshole, and there is no denying that. Telling a girl that she looks fat and then laughing about it won't make her attracted to you, it just makes you look like an arrogant piece of shit.

Even though I was aware that I was doing this, though, I couldn't really stop. It would just come out of my mouth. I was overly analyzing everything.

Anyway, let me know what you think, I appreciate any and all comments.

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-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

A lot of people over neg or make fun of girls too much. It's very addictive and I've done it a lot myself because it's so much fun lol.

Like David Deangelo said, you gotta find the right balance between cocky and funny. I think with enough practice and experience you'll get better at it. Also, tonality and facial expressions can make a big difference in how your "witty" remarks come off so keep that in mind.

You can maybe try to change your routine a bit so you're not making fun of her as much. Like maybe after your initial impression you can talk about an interesting story or play a little game with her. Do something else that will keep you from making fun of her lol and using a C&F comment every now and then won't hurt anyone as long as it's playfull (and remember to smile when doing it).

Since I had a similar problem as you, it helped to try new routines and new ways to interact, flirt, and build attraction. If there is a girl who I particualry don't care too much about, then I'll neg all day or say stupid cocky things just for the fun of it.

Anyways, basically calibration is key and only experience can improve that. Good luck

What I think is that you are an insecure and weak male. You pick targets that you can make fun of and try to play it off in a joking manner because if it really turned into a confrontation you would piss yourself. Making fun of women is a way for you to ignore the fact that MEN are the ones who have been emasculating you, NOT women. It probably gives you a sense of power to think you are in control of the conversation, the situation, and the role of men and women. However in the reality of it all you are the one everyone is going to start ignoring, and avoiding. It's not an excuse to say you can't help being a douche bag. It is not productive to talk shit to a girl constantly, nor productive to talk shit to men constantly. You are cynical and sarcastic because it scares you to be genuine and sincere, you are a boy, young and dumb. Change your behavior or else you are going to be getting the same results you've been getting, resentment and a sore forearm.

What I think is that you are an insecure and weak male. You pick targets that you can make fun of and try to play it off in a joking manner because if it really turned into a confrontation you would piss yourself. Making fun of women is a way for you to ignore the fact that MEN are the ones who have been emasculating you, NOT women. It probably gives you a sense of power to think you are in control of the conversation, the situation, and the role of men and women. However in the reality of it all you are the one everyone is going to start ignoring, and avoiding. It's not an excuse to say you can't help being a douche bag. It is not productive to talk shit to a girl constantly, nor productive to talk shit to men constantly. You are cynical and sarcastic because it scares you to be genuine and sincere, you are a boy, young and dumb. Change your behavior or else you are going to be getting the same results you've been getting, resentment and a sore forearm.[/quote]

i agree with this initial statement, i think u may neg or try to be funny as a defense mechanism of sorts, to hide an insecurity. use it in moderation because i think there are a lot of girls who like this kind of thing, but you have to show your true self. show her your more than just a douche, keep a 3 joke maximum, than start to change the conversation to a more sexual state.

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que sara sare, LET THAT SHIT RIDE

Good wake up call. I've always admired someone that can put something so forward and critical out there without worrying about resentment, it shows character.

You're right, I feel like I am a very insecure person. Maybe I worded my post a little too harshly. I am not the guy that goes around and makes fun of people just for the fuck of it. I'm not a bully by any stretch of the imagination. But, when talking to girls, I will 'playfully' poke fun at them too much, to the point where they get annoyed by it and it gets old.

You were right about one thing, though; it scares me to be genuine and sincere. It scares me to say what is on my mind, serious or funny, cocky or not. It scares me to share my real thoughts with a girl and let her know the positive things I think of her.

My goal: use A LOT less C&F (but still some; like suavaye' said, I'll let myself have three good C&F jokes) then I'm going to go back to a serious / flirty convo. It's hard though, to stray from the cynical side of things.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=