Dealing with racism in the dating world. How?



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 1:31 am 
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Ok so this is my first post and this possibly should belong to the "inner game" section.

Here is my story I am fairly new to this PUA gig, my main goal is actually to have a girlfriend before my 2 years is up (joining the Military after college, I think it would be nice to write letters with someone) I have not found a PUA material that fits me yet so I bought the 2 books by Neil Strauss; "The Stylelife Challenge" and "The Style Diaries" and also downloaded David D's "77 laws of attraction" Since freshman year I have tried to ask out girls, I did what David D said (cocky and funny and all that stuff) But for some reason it is of no success, I even went as far as actually using HIS c&f lines.

As I wonder why every girl I talked to dumped me into the friends zone. I came to one conclusion; its my race. I am 55% sure of it! I am of Filipino descent, so I think that must be it (there are a lot of Asian stereotype that is not exactly helping me here, like the Asians have little penis thing, I mean I am not that small, come on we all know that is not true I thought people wouldnt care )

I have a friend, well I used to like her but she dumped me into the friends' zone (guess why? she was from a small town in Ukraine and even here in the US she lives in a predominantly white neighborhood....hmmm) well since I am in the fz anyway, I might as well stay. One time during a random conversation she asked me why I am single. So I told her that, well there are not enough single girls in my class, which is true. And she flat out told me that there are some Filipino girls in our class. Well first, there are only a handful of them, second they have boyfriends, and third they are into guys of non-Asian race anyway. After a while I started thinking on what she is trying to say which is "Date within your own race"

Now after that everything made a lot of sense! I am living in the NY/NJ area but most people are still racist and they dont even realize that they are racists! Especially the dating world. Now I realized why some girls said no whenever I ask them out, because I am Asian and they are white or Italian or w/e.

I dont know if its just me, maybe I am coming off too strong or maybe I am being creepy or scary, I dont know lets give that the possibility of happening too, maybe I am. But I approach these women (mostly white or black girls) in different ways, if it didnt work for that other one there is no reason to try that method again on another girl.

So I guess to sum it all up, how do I deal with this? Should I just ignore it and continue whatever I am doing? Now I have this new fear. Before whenever I try to ask a girl, maybe going to the prom or something I will say to myself "oh she will say no because she can find someone better" but now it is more like "oh will say no because she can find someone better, and I am Asian!"

Thank you for your help you guys. I dont know if any of you experienced anything like this.

P.S. I guess cocky and funny dont work with Asian guys.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:24 am 
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Are you shure you just aren´t stereotyping yourself. Get out of that label and start dating some asian girls them all are not just in your class they are out there. Maybe asking some critical advice on your behavior from guys who are good at this, or meet up a wingman from a PU forum so he can give you an opinion.

http://www.asiandatingcoach.com/2010/03 ... sian-guys/


Last edited by longjohnson on Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: BTW
PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:29 am 
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Always continue doing what you do, don´t chance your life for a girl or girls. A man is his mission in life. Girls are just a sidething.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 4:48 am 
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Dude this was posted in another thread. I thought you should check it out man.

AFC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOeAfnv045s


Asian PUA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj5D2i2O9D0

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 8:40 am 
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My advice is not to think about racism at all. I'm also Filipino and I've dated white girls, a Russian girl for 2 years (that was born and raised in Russia), a Chinese girl, and now i'm currently dating a hot Latina and we're coming to our 4th year in December. These girls are HB 8's, 9's, and 10's. Before I met my girlfriend, I was able to date girls that are the same race as me and girls that are from different races. I didn't have any problems being in the "friend zone" to every girl I've picked up. I believe you should overcome this mentality first and work on being alpha to be able to succeed on your game. I think your mindset of this "racial thing" is subconsciously making you feel inferior towards other races and even your own race. The cocky and funny technique even worked for me! Maybe you should focus on your delivery too. When I first started getting into pua, the routines weren't working for me until I started getting better with my delivery (body language, vocal tonality, expressions, etc...). All of this will all come together. You just have to work hard and not give up and make excuses.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:57 am 
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I doubt your race has anything to do with it. The problem is more than likely to do with that C&F stuff you're using. If that isn't your actual personality then don't do it, simple as that. It's not something you can fake; you don't just go out and say a bunch of lines and have girls all over you. It's a personality, not a bunch of words.

If that is your natural personality though, maybe you're going overboard with it and taking too long to get to the point. If you tease a girl and overdo the innuendo etc, you'll hit a point where she won't take you seriously enough to think of you in a sexual way anymore.

If that's not who you really are though, find something else. Describe your personality and I'll be able to recommend something.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 03, 2010 3:23 pm 
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being a Marine, I'm gonna have to say you do NOT want a girlfriend when youre in the military. bad idea.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:05 am 
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Quote:
being a Marine, I'm gonna have to say you do NOT want a girlfriend when youre in the military. bad idea.
woah, why do you say so? I want to join the Marines too


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:07 am 
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Quote:
I doubt your race has anything to do with it. The problem is more than likely to do with that C&F stuff you're using. If that isn't your actual personality then don't do it, simple as that. It's not something you can fake; you don't just go out and say a bunch of lines and have girls all over you. It's a personality, not a bunch of words.

If that is your natural personality though, maybe you're going overboard with it and taking too long to get to the point. If you tease a girl and overdo the innuendo etc, you'll hit a point where she won't take you seriously enough to think of you in a sexual way anymore.

If that's not who you really are though, find something else. Describe your personality and I'll be able to recommend something.

Ok, I would not want to sound too cocky, but my friends say I remind them of Rayland Givens from the fx tv show justified, like all serious and smiling and stuff (but without the hat) that and Red Forman lol because I am all negative about things and stuff. Of course when approaching girls I tend to keep the negativity to myself.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:18 am 
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Come on you guys, lets not pretend race does not matter here. Its just that growing up, I never really thought about it that much so I assumed other people didnt too.

I can try and be optimistic about it all the time, but a relationship involves two people, so no matter how I change my mentality I dont know if it will make much difference to them.

Also are there any other mainstream PUAs that said anything about race?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:53 am 
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It doesn't matter. I'm filipino. You have self esteem issues/limiting beliefs, you need to fix that.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:45 am 
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My man I'm not even going to give u a long speech about how u should just believe in yourself.Go to pua videos and look at asian pua vs asian afc field pickup.I'm not even asian and it help me a shit load.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 5:09 pm 
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Dude, maybe after some crash & burns you were too much afraid of the next losses and your self-esteem lowered and that was the cause of not succeeding further. Well, I live in a country inhabitated in 100% by white people so I cannot tell you from practice, but I don't believe you'll by rejected being a good player. So practise more, make progress and don't take rejections personally. Treat this as a training and good fun, not as proving yourself.


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