Hey guys, I just turned 18 and I live in Minnesota. So there's this girl I've known for quite awhile now, and she is smoking hot. We've been pretty much best friends for awhile, also. So I feel like I'm in the just friends zone, but I'm starting to feel more from her. Lately, she and I have been hanging out alot more. The last few time we did, she started up some kino with some fake hitting and "shut up!" comments followed by laughter. She pretty much laughs at everything I say now, too. My dad and mom both love her, and I think she's probably the one. My dad thinks she likes me but I can never tell.

Right now, she does have a boyfriend, but things are inconsistent with her boy all the time. One day they're done, the next their fine, but nothing is ever GREAT with him.

Texting with her is hard, she always randomly doesn't reply and shit like that. So now, I've been doing the same. I wait longer to reply back to her, and suddenly stop texting sometimes. Here's an example of what I just did to her a little while ago.

she initiated the first text:
HER: "whats up?"
ME: "hey, not too much just about to eat dinner, how about you?"
HER: "layin in bed trying to fall asleep :/"
ME: "damn, and its only 6pm? you feelin ok? haha"
HER: "yeah I wish i could fall asleep but I keep looking out the window and its beautiful out.. wtf.. i wanna take a walk but i have no one to go with"
ME: "too bad i'm stuck at home, i could come get ya and we could go for a nice stroll "
HER: "i know! i wish we could, and take zoers" (zoers is her dog)
ME: "yeaa, my doggie has been begging me to take her for a walk. now that you gave me the idea, im gonna go for a walk haha "
HER: "i wanna come!"
ME: "haha idk, my puppy doesn't like girls who hang out with me so we might have to plan for another time "
HER: ":O!"

I didn't really know what to say after that so I just didn't reply. Keep in mind I'm still an amateur at the whole pickup thing so give me some humble advice.

Basically I've just recently fallen head over heels for her. Trying to figure out what the best method to make her mine is. I was talking to her about getting an apartment this summer and she definitely wants to be my roomate. She's renting from someone right now because she's all alone but she wants out of that place.

Any ideas guys? Anything helps.

I can tell you are new at this.

This forum is a great way to get you to THINK like a PUA,

But what you need to do, is go out, and purchase "The Mystery Method" By Mystery (Eric Von Markovik), "The Game" by Neil Strauss, "Double Your Dating" by David De'Angelo, and "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. Read them all twice each, beginning to end consecutively. No Exceptions.

Do this Tomorrow!


Pertaining to your situation:

You have Oneitis. The girl has a boyfriend. And unless he beats her, or is a complete DICK to you, I wouldn't steal her. and plus, "The One" is a forbidden term in method pick up:

"It's not the girl, it's the process"
~David De'Angelo

If a girl becomes THAT important to you,
you're going to fuck it up. just a matter of time. So you must realize, that as hot as this girl may be, NO MATTER WHAT, there are other hotter girls. And your frame has to be that these other hotter girls ALL want you, so she's not that important.

Another problem we have, is that you are ALREADY in friend zone.
In approach pick up, it's much easier to from the start display yourself as the sex object, and build the attraction from there.

So it would be very difficult to transform the friend emotions, into you being a sexual object, right now she does not think about that


Since you are already friends with her, you've already displayed characteristics that were not sexually attractive to her.
Some quick tips:

- Texting is a cutsy flirtsy thing to do, and can be very effective in building emotions, but should never be used at progressing an interaction. That means no making plans via text message, or trying to "get to the next level"

-I think you should have asked on the walk instead of disqualifying.

- Neg and Kino a little more than you usually would, and then adopt the new "I'm an alpha-male" frame attitude, lead the interaction, always be in control. that might transform her attraction, but it might not as well.

-always show a willingness to walk away ( i think you pretty much got that one)



But Basically everyone will say move on.. and they are right. Maybe if her and the BF break up for good, you'll get another shot.

So, to beat the trend.. Move On![/quote]

_________________
As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

She's obviously into you.

For her to let go of the previous guy, she needs a compelling reason. If she just leaves him without having some confirmation of where she'd end up (WITH YOU) she's the bad girl + now she has no boyfriend.

Girls hardly ever jump ship without making sure that they're at least wearing a life jacket . . . better still if they know that a "better ship" is waiting for her when she takes the jump.

So . . . without putting yourself out there and asking for a VERBAL AGREEMENT for a relationship. (The answer to this is ALWAYS A NO . . . ) You need to assure her that you'll be there for her after the fall out with her and her boyfriend.

You do this by escalating your interaction up to a KISS! You need to get it to that point. Remember, you do not under any circumstances proposition a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. This is a demand for a logical answer and the logical answer will always be "I'm already in a relationship so . . . sorry" - Of course! She's no slut!

However, if the next time you get with her and you begin with verbal flirtation, escalate that to physical flirtation (wrestling, hugging, playful tap on the butt, etc . . ) and you hold her chin and plant a big smooch. She will STICK HER TONGUE way down your throat. This isn't a logical decision. This is an emotional surrender. Just take it as far as it will go and then pull back.

After wards, you just explain that, "Wow, I guess my feelings for you just grew over time. I'm sorry if I over stepped my boundaries. . . "

She'll guide you through the rest.

she's probably the one????

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Thanks man, probably the best advice I've gotten so far. She knows I'll always be here for her. A couple of times recently for the first time in 2 years, I have done the kiss. Nothing intimate, just a peck on the top of the head or on the cheek. But she loved it, I could tell. She was really surprised but happy at the same time. I know I'm making progress, I believe it's just a matter of time til it's my chance.

And since this recent bonding time we've had together, she always ends her night by telling me she loves me. she would say: "good night, love you " or something like that.
we had always jokingly tell eachother we love eachother jokingly, but now its a habit for her.

Come on man . . . what is so exactly wrong about being head over heels for a girl? Two things need to take place for a guy to be diagnosed with "oneitis".

1. Be totally, completely, utterly drawn to ONE GIRL.
2. Be totally, completely, utterly fucked up due to 1.

Now I realize that many of you had experiences with the combination of 1 and 2, as I, and so you're quick to advise ANYBODY to stay clear of 1 and 2. . . but you can't just shotgun advise people to avoid 1. This is ridiculous. One of the most important reasons for learning the game is to effectively gain relationships from the girl that you are totally attracted to. What is so wrong with that?

The OP hasn't yet demonstrated any negative effects in his life due to his lust over this one girl. So far, he has only demonstrated the positives. He likes the girl. He cares for the girl. She seems to like him too. Now, all he has to do is carve an easy path for the two to get together.

I don't believe I have "Oneitis." I'm still attracted to many other sexy girls and still get with them, I've just been sorta stressing over this girl because I do believe she is the one for me.
Now, just because I think that, does NOT mean I'm sitting here ONLY wanting to be with her.

I know what not to do now because I had the same kind of crush before, only much much worse. The girl before I knew wasn't the one, but I was unbelievably in love with her. And, I fucked it up. I realize that obsessing over one girl will lead to fuck ups and more stress so now I just keep my options open, but still having a crush on one girl. Keyword "crush" not "obsessed."

Very important for you to clearly distinguish the two forms of "You'll always be there for her."

1. You will always be there for her as a friend.
2. You will always be there for her as a boyfriend.

You WILL always be there as a friend but you WILL NOT always be there as a boyfriend. You must demonstrate to her (through an intimate kiss) that you are opening a path for her to be with you. By doing this, you're opening a window that will close unless she jumps in. Again, you must remember that this is not done through language which is a contractrural form of communication but rather through intimacy and emotions.

Demonstrating to her that you will always be there as a friend, while demonstrating your desire to be intimate with her, gives her the confidence to dive in and "go for it". Whereas demonstrating to her that you will always be there as a "boyfriend" gives her the confidence to continue seeking other relationships because you will always be waiting for her as the "safety-net boyfriend".

Ugh but it's the kiss part that scares me. I have a feeling it will either work, or it won't with some pretty bad akwardness from then on. I'm leaning more towards it won't work.

All you kids who spit out knee-jerk responses to guys on this forum who have oneitis should read the above text again... And then some more...

The thing is though, it rarely is ever like THAT for seasoned PUAs.

You see a seasoned PUA throws little compliance tests all the way leading up to the kiss...

You: hey if it isn't my adorable side-kick!! Come on give us hug.
Her: [complies]

You:What don't i get a kiss on the cheek? (points to cheek)
Her: [kisses cheek]

You: Excuuuse me... I thought you knew i have a little french in me...and the other cheek plus i'm greedy!!! (big cheeky grin)

Her: [giggle] Oh really [complies]

Then you touch her arms... oh my god did you see that...blah blah blah...

escalating...escalating...escalating.


All the time you're waiting for that moment she gives you the doggy dinner bowl look ...Then you kiss her.

You see a kiss should never be just a bam, spur of the moment thing... If you do this properly you'll know if it is on or not... So there shouldn't BE any awkwardness or indecision? Get it??

Google vin Dicarlo's escalation ladder and gambler's stealth seduction vids.


And fuck this whole:-

"I'm leaning towards the idea that it won't work"

Crapola. It working or not working at this point is 50/50. Your mindset is the only difference. If you believe it will work...It probably WILL. If you believe it won't work...It probably WON'T.

I remember that time when I was a little kid and I was learning to ride a bike without stabilizers....

My dad would hold the back of the seat while I was pedalling like mad.

I was so scared I would fall over, I'd scream...'Dad you still holding the back?'
'Yeah son.' Then one day when I was pedalling like mad...'I screamed dad are you holding the back?' 'Yeah son' ... I looked over my shoulder and he wasn't there.

I could ride just fine on my own just fine. I just needed that belief ...and my dad instilled that belief through a white lie. This is what YOU must do..


Do you wanna live your life wondering what COULD have happened?? I think you already know the answer to this one.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
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Would you be freaked out if I said I loved you? That whole post was a huge confidence booster for me, and for that I thank you.

I'll keep it in my mind and pre-meditate how I'm gonna go about this and see what I can come up with.

Okay I don't really post and usually lurk, but I thought I'd share my opinion.
Been through the EXACT thing as you. Was amazing best friends with this girl for about a year. She was on and off with her boyfriend, obviously had huge feelings for me (even said love you like your girl) Decided that I wanted her more than anything. Although things got complicated, were currently dating.

Yes, the kiss is the hardest part but when you do it, you'll feel amazing my friend. This is my suggestion. She obviously likes going for walks so I suggest going on a late night walk with her (no dogs, only distracts her) Start with fun light talks, kino A LOT (hold her hand, rub her shoulders, arm around her) then get into deeper stuff elicit deeper emotions, run a bf destroyer, as you start to leave go for like a weird hug to get her laughing. Then go for a real one. (gauge her compliance on her hug) Make it longer then usual, squeeze a bit harder than usual, move your face back a bit whisper something in her ear (whatever you want romeo) At this point youll be looking directly at each other about an inch away from each others face, the kiss should feel natural.

NOW it'll prolly get really intense for a bit, but then comes that awkward after part. She'll prolly have a TON of emotions flowing through her. Tell her how you feel about her but don't "spill" It may get complicated because shes basically thinking "I really like this guy but if our relationship doesn't work out I don't wanna ruin our friendship" Expect that. But the way I see it you got nothing to lose. You either take it to the next level or you just stay friends. Plus you got a passionate kiss outta it!

good luck man! hope that helped!

That's great man, I love having different ways to approach this. The only real thing I'm concerned about this kiss is that if she backs out right away with a freaked out look on her face.

I was actually JUST talking to my friend/guru peter alexander about this.

The KISS-reject is ONLY a big deal if you make it a big deal.

It's a limiting belief that when you get a k-close reject, things will magically be "awkward", or she will automatically "not want to be your friend anymore"

I had a girl over a week or so ago, watching a movie, and i moved in to kiss her, as our lips touched, she closed her lips, and sucked them in, so all you could see was skin.. and then turned her head.

If i would have made it a big deal, it's over. what i did, was gave her this HUGE kiss on the cheek. like i'm talking juicy tongue and then, just gave her a "what..." look.

I'm not saying do THAT, but if she rejects it, then just make sure she knows it didn't phase you, and your frame was not affected.

She will not even give it any thought..

So with that knowledge.. Why not go for it?

_________________
As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

DO NOT bring up the "boyfriend topic" unless she does.

There are a thousand different ways to go for the kiss but you essentially want to draw her to you before you go for the kiss. Lunging/leaning towards her can induce some instinctive reactions. It's instinctive to draw back when anything comes at you: fist, car, train, crazy dopey looking dude with puckered lips, whatever . . .