First off, if this is in the wrong forum I apologise - Please forgive the newbiness!

I have a question that I desperately need the answer for, but I figure a little background on me would be the best way to start.

I'm a good looking guy. I'd say very good looking in fact, but I carry it well. I don't act arrogant, but I don't pretend Im not good looking. I'm young (early twenties) and successful in my job, I dress well. My job requires me to be a confident person and I am. I will talk to anyone without getting embarrassed or shy, man or woman. I am engaging and funny when I want to be.

However, when the conversation/setting turns from everyday/platonic to 'PUA'ing, I have a mental block.I suddenly develop a fear (I know it's irrational) of failure. As I said, I'll speak to anyone in any setting - but the moment my thoughts turn to picking up I start thinking immediately:

1. What if she rejects me
2. I hope my mates won't take the piss
3. Shit everybody is looking right at me
4. Shit, everbody is talking about me..and not in a good way!

When Im sitting here analysing it, I know it's ridiculous and I know I have all the ingredients to pull it off with ease...but suddenly in the heat of the moment these outrageous worries pop into my head and I suddenly clam up...losing my usual easy charm eloquence and humour.

Anybody have any little mental tips or tricks to help me overcome this...or do you think it's mainly a case of 'repeatedly do it until you realise your fears are undounded'?

Your problems can be answered in short like this:

It is a choice. You got to prioritize your learning over your comfort. I wrote a post on the subject once. It was about AA but the principle is the same.

getting-rid-of-aa-its-a-choice-in-or-ou ... ch+anxiety

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Your post was massively helpful mate - once it's put into simplistic terms 'put up or shut up' it brings things into perspective. Since you've said that, I've tried relating this to other areas of my life:

Learning to drive, starting a new job - you're always going to be out of your comfort zone and, inevitably, mistakes are going to happen! The sacrifice now will be worth it later on

Interesting point on your dislike of gaming with mates though. Although I'd worry my friends would take the piss, I'd far rather that than be the creepy guy who's crawling bars on his own!

Like you said though, we wont see 99% of these people again so who gives a fuck!

He he! Im glad that I could help you!

Well about the friends, I have divided my social circle into the ones I can bring out when I am sarging and the ones that I cannot. Basically the ones who will hold me back or be annoying and the ones who know what it is all about and that will enjoy it too.
That is like mainly guys but a few girls as well, partners in crime.

I go out alone if I have to, rather that than having people around that slows me down...

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn