Hello, I'm new to the board and scene, but have read most of the common lit (The Game/DeAngelo, etc). I need some help on what I can learn from this situation. This is incredibly long, feel free to comment on any part of it. I'm most interested in comments on the section 'third date"

My background: I tend to underachieve with girls, I'm not a virgin, but most of my sex has been in random drunk hookups, often with less than stellar "talent." I also haven't had a relationship ever go more than 6 months and I'm in my mid-late 20's. I would like a single-LTR, but try to have a couple in the hopper when it's early in the PU. I tend to get lost in the early non-exclusive dating phase, and have been accused in the past of moving too fast, even by girls who have slept with me. I am a recovering "nice guy" and every once in awhile i catch myself saying/doing nice guy (but usually not needy) things.

The situtation:
I was out at a bar with friend, he invited friends I didn't know, a HB 7.5 and a 5.5 who is her roommate. After a few drinks, the 7.5 asks me to go the jukebox, with her, I'd been running some basic stuff on the 5.5 as well as having general conversation, and 7.5 finally decided to take the bait and figure out why I'd been ignoring her. We had some light convo at jukebox, I negged her music choice and CF'ed why I choose my songs. We continued to drink with the other two until we got separated near last call. Later that night we ended up at her house, I got ready to crash on her couch (I was too hammered to try anything anyway) and she got on the couch with me and cuddled up. I proceeded to fall asleep and later woke up and suggested we go to the bed, since it would be more comfortable. We just slept in the same bed, nothing more. We did have breakfast the next day, and I got her number.

I called her three days later, and texted two days after that to set up saturday.

"first date"
We went out sat and it was a great time, we had drinks again, and a random girl at the bar social proofed the hell out of me when we were talking to her, telling hb 7.5 "This guy's great, if you don't take him home, I might" ---(the random girl was with her bf). Again we end up at her place although this time when we were making out on the couch, he mentioned we needed to slow down, that she wasn't over an ex. I did a FO/false takeaway, and said "ok, but I'm leaving", she asked me to stay but insisted we keep it above the waist. I agreed.

Two weeks pased, we had intermittent text/phone calls during, where I continued to build rapport, be CF and tell DHV spike stories.

'second date"
We went dancing with some folks we knew at a live band, and it was on. We were openly grinding on the dance floor and made out heavily on the walk back to the car. Her hands were everywhere. We went back to her place and got down to business. She hit me with a bit of LMR, and i used a FO and said that if she wanted to stop it was fine, but I'd have to go "finish" in her BR because I was getting blue balls. She then said, "ok but wear a condom" (which I had). I had some performance issues (my most recent ex was on the pill and occasionally condom plus alcohol = trouble staying hard). We went at it for a while but neither got off.

It was surprisingly non-weird the next day. We hung out into mid-afternoon and then I left. No mention of my boner issues, and she mentioned some vague plans which involved us at a later point.

I knew I'd be out of town the next few weekends after this most recent, so I pushed to see her this weekend (-direct text quote from me-"I want to see you Friday"). For reasons of our schedule, we cant ever get together during the week.

"third date'
We got together again, and once again we had sex, and while it was better for me, she didn't come. The next morning after breakfast, I tried to go again on her couch (my thought was that if I could get the afternoon delight, I'd have a sense I could set her up as a GF/regular fuckbuddy at worst and know she wasn't just in it for drunken hookups) and she stopped me from taking her top off, and said the she was concerned it was moving too fast, and she needed to not be with any one at this point in her life. This is where all the good work I'd done unravels. I talked about how I respected what she wanted and didn't want to force her, but that we had very real chemistry and it would be silly to let timing or her being an a transition period of her life be a barrier to having fun together.
She said that she wanted to continue to hang out, and that she liked me a lot because I was fun to be around, intelligent and really funny, but she didn't think I should stay over anymore and that "her bedroom was too personal a space to share right now."
I didn't say anything, but she read my uncomfortableness and said" That isn't what you want is it?" I responded that I wanted to continue to spend time with her and explore our connection, and wasn't sure we could behave when we drink, and I'd have to think about it. I felt like this was the first time in the roughly 20 hours we'd spent where she got me uncomfortable, or I gave up that I was real into her (which I was). I got up, put my stuff together and left, exiting with "Call me when you figure out what you want."


Other info
She's been single 4 months, but her previous relationship was 6 years and her only serious BF.
She is a cool girl with an active social life, but from what I managed to gather from our common friend isn't dating any other guys.
We can only ever meet on weekends because of our work schedules, and in the month I've know her we've been out three times, and maybe logged 3-4 hours phone time.


Questions
1. How do you attack "I don't want to be in a relationship/it's moving to fast" I'm assuming this is some sort of LJBF variant? I felt I dropped the ball hard. I have no intention to call her again until she calls me. Can this kind of "talk" be reframed by me?
2. How often do you communicate between dates (Something I've long struggled with).
3. Does it sound like I was too into her? I didn't feel that way but one of my guy friends claims i've telegraphed LTR interest too-soon before. I was the aggressor in setting up the dates. She would always call me back if I didn't get her when I called, but I never called more than a few times a week. She would text me but never initiated a calling cycle.
4. Is this a response to the sex perhaps being subpar? She didn't seem freaky, but was experienced and we did some position swapping and whatever, but it certainly was not the wildest/best sex either of us has ever had. Is it possible she did just want sex, and decided it wasn't good enough to bother?
5. If she does call in the future, how shall I proceed (I stilll want to be in a exclusive relationship with her, but went into the hopper to try to get a date for this week to not get hung up on hb 7.5).