I've played the game badly, got caught up with this girl, bit of oneitis, been on three dates, didnt get her back in the end, now I know she isnt interested, didnt return my last call a week ago, now she calls tonight. I know the call is to explain why shes been dicking me around, i.e. a dump call. Do i call her back, and take the call? if so, how do i approach the call? or not return it (knowing it's bad news)?

What's the strongest position to take, bearing in mind i want to make it happen...

Sounds like you are dealing with a bit of damage control. Man, I have been single for years now, and I never get stressed out a girl and weather she lost interest or if I should make another call after I think things went wrong...and that is because of one theory I have. It is 100 times easier to find a new girl than to fix an old one. Trying to patch an old relationship is a waste of time, and worrying about it is a waste of emotion.

Imagine if you used the energy you are spending on trying to "make this happen" and went out and got 4 or 5 new phone numbers. All fresh, no past to worry about. Two things would happen.

1) You'd probably be banging another girl or two withing a week
2) You'd probably make the other girl jealous enough to actually want you back

If a girl give me an ounce of stress I get rid of her. They know this and that is why they always try to keep me happy. It's an easy concept to grasp, but harder to implement. That's my suggestion from my own experience.....

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The Bachelor's Code by Tyler. Check it out...
http://www.thebachelorscode.com/