We've all had our bouts with oneitis and we've all heard the "best" cure: fuck 10 other women. Realize that she's not the only one for you, that you ARE capable of experiencing physical and emotional connections with other girls.

Unfortunately, the very nature of oneitis inescapably reduces a PUA's desire to pursue other women, but rather encourages him to focus his energies on doing everything he can to secure that one girl.

For a long time, the ONLY attraction I would ever feel for girls was oneitis. I had two modes, off and hyper. Each time, she was the only girl for me, and I never learned my lesson no matter how many times I turned out to be wrong. I tried making lists of their faults, I tried being a jerk to them, I conceived of every reason we shouldn't/couldn't be together. None of it ever worked. Even meeting new girls wouldn't help because all I could think about was how it wasn't her.

So if none of that stuff was working, what was my real problem? Why couldn't I get this girl out of my head? Well, the biggest realization that I made about oneitis is what is implied but rarely said on oneitis threads: she was never in my head to begin with.

That little nugget is what really helped me to tackle my chronic oneitis. Oh sure, at first she was in my thoughts. "That girl is cute." "She seems pretty smart." "She's kind of fun to hang out with." However, as the oneitis sets in, the girl you actually know is pushed from your mind and is replaced by her. Suddenly, she's perfect. She's the most beautiful girl in the world. She's smarter than all other girls, she's your goddamn SOULMATE.

What the hell? Where did that come from? She never demonstrated those qualities to you because she CAN'T. It's impossible for anyone to demonstrate superlatives to you simply because you don't know everyone in the world. At a certain point, it's not about the actual girl anymore. Suddenly it's about your subconscious manifestation of the "perfect girl." There are many reasons why this could happen. Mine stemmed from my impossibly high standards for a girlfriend (which itself stemmed from the fear that I would never be able to find a girl who could satisfy me on all the levels I desired); my subconscious realized that the only way I could be made to actually find a girlfriend and fulfill my human needs was to impose the unrealistic qualities I desired on some girl I had developed a mild attraction for. It wasn't her I thought about, it was my subconscious manifestation of the perfect girl. I knew on an internal level that she simply didn't exist, so I slapped the label on someone.

When afflicted with oneitis, I would always feel down knowing that I was constantly thinking about her but she wasn't thinking about me. That made me feel as if her value was much higher than mine, that she was the great prize to be attained. In reality I was constantly thinking about the problems in my own psyche that had caused me to obsess over an idealized depiction of the female form. My value returned; in actuality, she was probably thinking about me more because she didn't fabricate her idea of me, so even in the most casual passing thought, it really was ME that she thought of. Regardless of whether she liked me or not.

Jung categorizes it in his own terms- he calls it anima projection and postulates that it is an imposition of our own feminine qualities onto another person. He makes it clear that it is NOT healthy, but rather represents the subconscious bringing a problem to the consciousness's attention.

Here's what I suggest: discover why your subconscious has idolized a particular girl. What is your mind trying to tell you? What is your unresolved psychological roadblock regarding women that has caused your mind to respond this way? That, I can't answer. All I can tell you is to explore the various theories of obsession (of which this entire post is only one) and try to understand what your brain is doing, and more importantly why your brain is doing it.