Social status woes, need some help



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:29 pm 
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Long time lurker, first time poster aside from the introduction post. One reason I signed up here was because I need some help shaking things up socially, especially with girls.

It's my final semester of college, and my social life is dull. Whatever I try to do, it seems to make very little impact. Most of the time, I'm talkative/gregarious though am initially a little shy, I am optimistic by nature and I like meeting new people. I have a couple of friends here at school, but it might be too little too late since the majority of them I met this year and I'm still getting to know the group. However, I still feel irrelevant.

With girls and dating, it's always the same thing. I introduce myself, get to know her a little bit, make her laugh or smile, then I'll ask her out. She says yes, we set up a time...and then she flakes. Not only that, but I am cut off and I'll never hear from her again. Overall with girls, I haven't had much success lately, I feel I'm the only one putting energy into anything. With people I meet in class, I'll start talking to people if they are looking around/hanging out or we're nearby. Unfortunately, all the rapport developed goes out the window by the next class, where it's as if they don't know me. With Facebook, I get very little feedback. I'll write on a friend/acquaintance's wall and not hear back. My status updates are ignored, and I'm not writing meaningless things (it seems everyone gets a "like" or a comment or two). Maybe people think I'm not being genuine or I'm rubbing them the wrong way without know it, but I don't know that answer. I used to think a negative reaction was the worst SPAM; instead, getting no reaction at all is even worse. At least the naysayers care enough to present their input.

Even with my good friends back home who I see all the time, things don't change. We play pickup football. I'm one of the top athletes in the group and usually score a bunch of touchdowns and make big plays on both sides of the ball. Regardless, I'm always picked last even though everyone is "stunned" I dropped so far (they also start out putting the non-athlete on me, then they'll mix it up during the game). It's an oxymoron. Then again, those guys are an entirely different story, as I feel they have the potential to do a lot more with their lives if they put their minds to it.

I can sustain some wear-and-tear and generally deal with things well, but this is eating at me. In almost every case, I have to make the calls to hang out or figure out what the plans are, otherwise I'm probably not going anywhere. I've done well in all other areas of my life: I workout often and stay in very good shape, my internships have opened the door for a good first job, my classes are going well, and I'm a senior member in the extra-curricular that I'm involved with.

With only a few months to go, I want to go out with a bang. I want to stir things up, make some noise, and turn some heads. No more of this being irrelevant stuff. I'm definitely not living under a rock, as my extra-curricular, workouts and being around campus would prove. Do you know ways I can do this in the final few months of college?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:56 am 
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Anybody? I realize it's somewhat of an indirect thread since I'm discussing my inner game and not a particular girl.

At the start of the school year, I was buzzing. Making new friends, got a couple of dates, I was on the move. But when the smoke cleared after winter break, I realized I had no momentum moving forward.

I need a jumpstart. There MUST be something I can do that will instantly stir things up, make noise and turn heads. I only have a few months left, so it would have to be something quick and sudden. I know in professional sports, some player "predict" they're going to pull off a major upset and win the big game even though everyone thinks they're nuts. Either way, it brings attention to the player and makes others take notice.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 3:34 am 
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Dropping a log in broad daylight in the middle of class is sure to cause a 'stir'.

Could end up with you being called turdman but hey at least you will be known.

In seriousness, you are trying. It takes balls to make small talk with everyone and as stated in the moneysupermarket advert- brits struggle as they have an overactive cringe gland.

I am still getting over some of my shyness and am always forcing myself to talk to everyone, not just girls. It's just a case of faking it till you make it and to keep on trying.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:56 am 
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Thanks. With 3 months until graduation, I need a quick plan here. Sure, it may be too little too late, but it's worth a shot.

Athletes and coaches predict their teams will win certain games. It doesn't always work, but it tends to turn heads. When it does work, the player or coach gets a boost. I'm not sure what the parallel would be here.


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