I was at a colleague's party last week, this girl had been chatting to me all night. Not only that, but shutting out advances from other guys to continue talking to me, we were flirting a lot. My friends were leaving, and she said kind of disappointingly, "are you leaving too?". I had other friends staying, so I said that I would stick around. I thought she said she had a boyfriend, and it must have been clear that I was disappointed, and she actually went out of her way to say it was just a friend she was talking about. We talked for the rest of the time she was there, and I grabbed her hand and said come to a quiet place with me. We went to a quiet room and I went to kiss her and she said "not here", so I just kind of hugged her and took the pressure of the situation with a smile. We went back inside, we talked to a few other people, then we started talking again and kept flirting. It got late, and she said goodbye to me, I was a little surprised cause it seemed she was wanting to leave just like that. I said well why don't we share a cab home together, and she just said no and shut me out and just left.

I don't get it. Why did she want me to stick around, and talk to me all night (and shut out other guys), only to just leave like that? Not even kiss me or anything. It wasn't like she was cold to me when we were talking, all the signals were saying "stick around, I like you", but she just shut me down when there was any chance of romance. I'm stumped. I know not all girls are that easy, but she didn't even really respond when I said "we should get a coffee some time".

I know you might think well she was probably just using you for company, but there were heaps of guys hitting on her, she could have just flicked me off, but she kept talking to me..

What happened? Was there something else here that I don't know about (recent break up or something?), or was it something I did?

Any advice?

The golden word for this situation is: Challenge.

Be a challenge, you set the rules of the game, more on that latter.

Firstly; All of these patterns show a general disrespect for men that I don't like I would say that fate handed you a favor by letting this one go by:

-Talk with me only tonight. Ignore all the other HB's that might have genuine interest in you so I can look like a high value female.

-Ignore your friends and stay with me when I know full well your just a prop to make me look good this evening like a new pair of shoes.

-I will give you mixed signals about a boy friends and other men currently in my life.

- I will give more mixed signals when it comes time to be physically intimate.

- The disrespectful departure. You served your purpose. You made me look in demand all evening. And I Thank you for that. Have a nice rest of the evening masturbating to reasonable facsimile of me on the internet.


What to learn from this: In the courtship process there is a system of training that goes on between you and the target. To put it bluntly ONLY one of you is going to get trained.

Example your friend that suddenly abandons all of his friends to hang out exclusively with his new girl friend. Or the two hour nightly phone calls (dry cough)
Was that his idea?
Certainly not!

What is really going on here is hoop jumping:

A hoop is a request that a person makes on you.

If you wish to continue this relationship WILL jump through this hoop OR ELSE (no sex for example). Note punishment aspect of this approach.

3 ways to deal with a hoop:
1) Make her jump through your hoop first - Example I will stay with you if you give me a reason to? Whats in it for me? After she delivers then you and only then you jump

2)Jump through her hoop with no challenge - You saw where that got you.

3) Ignore the hoop - Depending on what you have invested it might be best to roll off and work another target.

Use the hoop to your advantage! Now that you see the power of the hoop use it on your next target.

Don't go the rough of punishment with it. Its more fun and playful to use reward.

Target: How old are you (Hoop incoming)
PUA: Guess (Hoop BACK)
Target: 24?(She jumped!)
PUA: I'm 30 but thank you! you keep flattering me like this I will have to show you something really special (Hoop)
Target: Whats that? (She jumped!)
PUA: Me on the dance floor. If I like you enough you can help me show these other couples how its done. Now doesn't that sound like fun?! (Hoop)
Target: I don't know that sounds pretty crazy (counter-hoop shes trying to take back the tone and pace of the hit)
PUA: Would you like to be an observer tonight or the observed (counter-counter-hoop)
Target: What does that mean! - (counter-counter-counter-hoop)

If done playfully this can go back and forth to 7 to 10 counter hoops generating unbelievable SEXUAL TENSION and ATTRACTION. Think of a tennis or volly ball match where the volly has been continued over and over and the crowd is seeing true skill of both players. THAT ENERGY CAN BE YOURS TO CONTROL!

Works great with 10 that are so used to men jumping first. Just to get a smile from her.

HOLD YOUR GROUND PLAYER!
You go through her hoop ONLY after she goes through yours like a good girl.

_________________
Play on,

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Awesome advice... thank you so much.. I tried not to jump through her hoops too much, I teased her a little about me staying in a similar way to how you said, kind of like so you want me to stay? she responded well, with a little joke. Even though I talked to her a lot I still talked to my friends, went around the party and talked to other girls a little bit. I made it clear that I had other things to do with my time and other friends there.. But yeah, I was enjoying the conversation so I kept talking to her.

I think you hit the nail on the head, and I understand what you mean, it's all very confusing. So judging from what I said you thought she was giving mixed signals too? I really though we were getting along.. I was confused more than disappointed, so you're right, she was probably not worth it in the end.