I'll try to keep this brief, so that I don't get a bunch of "WAY TOO LONG POST"
comments.

Also, I'm not at all a PUA, but I've been reading up on the stuff for a while now, just waiting until I knew my shit so that I could actually put it in practice. So if you're thinking "AFC" this whole post, that's because I totally am one.

Girl and myself have been great friends for a few years now, ever since we met in college in SoCal.

Girl moves back to Northern California for another schooling program, but girl & I still keep in touch. We've gone out before, but neither of us at the time really wanted anything more than a friendship.

Now I've fallen for her. But, here's the kicker.

Girl is visiting my friends & I at my apartment (her roommates when she was here are my roommates now), and went to a party at our mutual friends house.

Mutual friend had a thing going on with her our first year, until she broke it off saying that she didn't want a normal (i.e. attached at the hip) relationship & that she was starting to not really like him in that way. Perfect for me right? Because I know that she at least likes me (at the very least in a friend way)

Anyway, she came back to our apartment with mutual friend, and he slept over for a while. Now I know she's not the girl to really be about the one night stand (at all), so I'm pretty sure that she was just wasted and needed someone to make sure that she didn't pass out or anything on the way to my place.

But still, let me restate that.

She invited over a former fling to my apartment. What. the. fuck.

Maybe I'm looking into this more than I should, but basically this guy slapped my ego. Probably with his cock.

So what should I do? What I once thought was a thing of the past just came to show me up.

I can't stand for this, but I need some advice on to handle the situation. I'm a little bitch, obviously doubting myself and not escalating attraction properly with this girl, but now that this shit happened...I'm so ready to change my AFC ways.

What do you all think?

Another thing I just picked up on.

I'm pretty needy. Not that I can help it. Well, actually, according to you guys, I can definitely help it.

But I'm not really sure just how to go about that. How would I break my supposed "needy" persona?

I'm ready for anything you guys will give me.

Ok I am no PUA by any means either. Personally most of the things on here are not me so I do not practice them. I hate set routines and am not a big fan of the whole idea gaming girls. There are however plenty of good points to take away from many of the posts. (i.e. you can learn alot about body language, peacocking, kino, important situational actions/words to say, etc, and most important for me is inner game and natural game which it looks like you could benefit from reading up on it). From what I see you seem to ba lacking confidence, I am not going to beat around the bush, that is an essential part of picking up girls and living your life in general. Inner game is something that you should look into be build confidence. Although I said I dont like it, you may want to start practicing on other girls some kind of routine and meet some girls and gain confidence and experience, at the very least just talk to them. That is something every AFC can not understand is there is nothing wrong with starting up a conversation with an attractive or even unattractive girl; you probably dont have trouble talking to the 40 year old cashier or your friends mom, why should an HB be any different. They will respond based on a variety of things, one of the key factors being how you present yourself and your confidence. That is the number one thing you need to work on.

As far as your oneitis. It seems as you are in what I would call the pre-friend zone and friendzone. She obviously does not know your intentions because you never physically or even verbally showed relayed it to her. I am not advising you verbally say anything until you build up attraction, that is number 1. You need come off as a funny, confident, mysterious guy, maybe not the guy she is used to. You need to get out with her and do fun things she doesnt do with every guy (i.e. like in Just Friends going to lunch). While doing all this you must develop a level of sexual tension and keep it. You can do this trough kino, through making cocky/funny sexual references, or even talking about sex. Nothing wrong with that and it actually portrays confidence assuming you dont make it awkward (i.e. I saw you sleeping with our friend/your ex the other night) NO NO, although I guess you could in a way bring that up in a non awkward way and say something to the extent of well ("its too bad you didnt bring me home instead"), something cocky/funny and being sexual at the same time, GOLDEN.

Overall it seems like you have some work to do with yourself before your oneitis. Read up, meet some people, build confidence and hey maybe in the process youll realize she is not what you really want and boom no more oneitis, there is a better girl out there. If your still hooked, read my advice again or ask more questions.

Good luck

Thanks again Chillin for putting this in perspective for me. I need to go about this logically rather than setting out to do something stupid based on how I'm feeling at the moment. Definitely gonna take your advice and work on my inner game. Obviously I still have some stuff going on that's impeding my progress.