Shy Girls



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 38 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Get Into The Game: New Forum Members Start Here » General Questions




Author Message
 Post subject: Shy Girls
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 5:43 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:27 am
Posts: 46
Website: http://www.facebook.com
When i approach girls with the energy that people say i need, they just look down at the ground, or smile and blush and just keep walking. Also sometimes i feel like they just think they are too good for me, and they just keep walking like they are the hottest people there. Please tell me what im doing wrong.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:34 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:26 am
Posts: 125
Okay man, from what it sounds like, it sort of sounds like your going in with High energy regardless of their energy. This basically means you can't establish quick rapport with someone that you approach, and quick rapport is something that is vital to carrying an approach (without rapport, you can't hook a set).

Rapport is like a dance man, to dance, the Male is expected to lead (being the dominant one), and the female follow, but before you can lead - you must have a partner. Therefore you and the person you are approaching must first meet on the same level, and from there you can bring her up (high energy) or down (low energy).

A simple way to create rapport is to meet at an emotional level (most people can pick up some queue of their emotions from their facial expressions - sensory acuity) and enter with the same sort of emotion and energy. The other way to quickly establish rapport is by matching and mirroring their:

-> Posture: or Bodylanguage, how they hold themselves - are their arms crossed, hands clenched, are they slumped over or are they standing confidently, etc. etc.

-> Gestures: what they do with their hands when they talk, if they move them around a lot and move them wildly, or in contrast, don't use them very much.

-> Facial expressions and blinking: If they smile, you smile, if they blink, you blink, it creates really simple and quick rapport because you guys are connecting on a subconscious level.

-> Breathing: keep tempo with their breathing, if they begin to breath fast, you do the same.

-> Voice Tone/Tempo/Timbre/Volume: Obviously some of this one isn't relevant to pickup, however, talking at the same volume to them, in the same speed (fast v slow) and the fluidity of their speech is a great way to connect. You'll notice this one especially when you're talking to someone that you're in deep rapport with, like a good friend .

-> Word Predicates & Key words: You can find a list of key words, etc. at http://www.kvaes.be/nlp/representationa ... aesthetic/ although that does get a bit more complicated.

-> Common Experiences and Associations: This is a simple one, just relate an experience of yours to an experience of hers.

Obviously some of these can be used earlier on then other, e.g. Breathing / Posture / Gestures / Facial Expression (to a degree) can be seen from a distance and yours changed, others like Voice Tone/Tempo/Timbre/Volume and Word Predicates + Key words are used in mid-rapport or when you've been talking for a while, and common associations can be used whenever.

Hope this helped!
----------------

Secondly man, you mentioned this at the end of the post, that you imagine like those people think that they're too good for you, etc.

That isn't it man, they might be in a rush, or you might have to work on your delivery - start your opener in a louder, clearer voice and stay still once you've began it. If they walk away, too bad for them, they're missing out on talking to you, and you can just move straight on to another set.

I would also look into some inner game stuff, because it seems that you considering that they're thinking that speaks to an inner game flaw of your own. The best (in mine, and a lot of other peoples opinions) product out at the moment would be the RSD Blueprint Decoded. If you have time, take a look at that.

Best of Luck!
~JR*


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 5:15 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:27 am
Posts: 46
Website: http://www.facebook.com
thanks so much, this helped a lot. SO you are saying that you can't really hold on to someone to have a conversation unless you are at the same level of energy they are at because they wouldn't feel like they have a connection with you?

Also i have watched some Tyler Durden RSD stuff, about how not to give a fuck, and basicly to help my inner game and self esteem, but i always seem to be so hurt by the fact i just got rejected, that i just forget about everything TD said


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 10:35 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:26 am
Posts: 125
Your inner game isn't something that suddenly changes, it's not something that you can watch a talk about it and instantly take it in and begin living by it. Inner game is your core beliefs, it's what you believe you will be getting out of an interaction, and what you believe the reason behind people not accepting an interaction is.

It is something that takes a lot of work to change, but once it's changed, you don't fall back to how you are now. Going out a lot is one of the easiest ways to change it, mainly because the more you go out, the better you become at talking to people, and the less people will walk away and not be receptive to your open. I want to stress this, what you're doing now is practicing, you're practicing core skills, like communication. This shouldn't be about using techniques and tactics, this should be about you learning to connect with someone quickly, and while some game will help that (openers, understanding of emotional progression, etc.), it's more about you.

Also, to the:
Quote:
SO you are saying that you can't really hold on to someone to have a conversation unless you are at the same level of energy they are at because they wouldn't feel like they have a connection with you?
I'm going to say yes, absolutely. Some people will disagree, but have you ever tried to have a conversation with a complete stranger when they're terribly depressed and you're terribly happy? It just doesn't work. When it's with friends, you both may change to meet at a sort of level ground, but without rapport beforehand, it won't work.

Best of Luck
~JR*


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link