In the pickup community, we all know that the kind of man a girl SAYS or even thinks she wants is not really what she wants.

I've been talking to this girl a lot over text messages that I met a week ago (and we are going out for a drink on Wednesday).
After quite a bit of back and forth, she says me this text message: (describing the kind of man she SAYS she wants - after I've been getting her to chase me):

"Money and looks mean nothing to me. Character impresses me. Gentlemen impress me. Gentlemen don't need girls to chase them."

Now, a lot of girls will say something like this, but it is BS. I know for a fact that money and looks matter to her, and that if I make her chase, she will run after me.

I guess my question is, if this is how an average girl would describe her ideal man, what would an MPUA describe as the kind of man a girl is really looking for? I want to have a good idea in my head of "No, a girl may say she wants (X - above), but what she is really looking for is THIS kind of man:" - (badass, alpha male, makes her chase him, etc.). But how exactly would the MPUA describe that kind of man?

Well there can also be differences in the type of man she is looking for depending on what is what out of that man (Mary him... or fuck him). Also her views on the subject will be greatly influenced by society, where as her inerent attraction might be totaly different. I woudn't even want to begin to elaborate a "girl code translator " for these kind of tings, but in this case it may be a time where your calibration comes more into play and listen to what the 90% non verbal part of her commuication says and not the 10% that comes out of her mouth...

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

What people report - to their friends and family, coworkers, and to psychology researchers - is often directly at odds with what they actually think or feel.

In a recent episode of "Lie to Me" with Tim Roth (I think season 1 is full of great tidbits you can use for cold reads and to DHV) he puts a guy in front of a screen and gets him to say whether or not he finds a series of women's pictures attractive or not. When he tells him that a girl is 16, 15, 14, the guy says no, even though he exhibits all the same physiological symptoms of sexual arousal (pupil dilation, sweating, increased heart rate, etc.) that he did for the girls he said were attractive who were over 18.

Tim Roth's character correctly states that the guy is reporting what he THINKS society WANTS him to say (because of laws to do with statutory rape, paedophilia, etc.) rather than what he's actually thinking.

Now, in terms of this girl.

She SAYS she wants a man who's dependable, has a stable job, is polite and nice to her, buys her flowers, takes her to dinner, and doesn't push her towards sex too early. A man who doesn't talk about his exes, who doesn't openly flirt, who wants to commit to only her.

As a PUA, you know what she's really attracted to. She's attracted to a man with confidence, many friends of both sexes, social status, intelligence (especially social intelligence), an ability to lead and take control, a man who doesn't apologise for who he is, and is open and free about his masculinity and sexuality. A guy who has options, who is casual about sex, and who she has to chase and keep the interest of in case she loses him to another girl.

If you tell her this the right way, you can DHV hardcore, whilst at the same time connecting with her on a deep emotional level. You're telling her - listen, I know what you really think and feel, and I know what society wants us to think. I know you're the type of girl who's different - who's outgoing and spontaneous and doesn't care what "society" thinks. That's what I like - somebody as fun and carefree as you who does what they really, truly feel.

tbh honest thier is truth to be extracted from what she said.

1. Manners are a sign of consideration and social grooming, plus that kind of self control is incredibly sexy.

2. Girls can appreciate someone who is up front.

3. Not all of attraction is visual.

Yes, exactly. I need to develop a similar DHV response to this and tuck it in the brain to use when girls give the inevitable "i want a chivalrous gentleman" speech.

Again, I posit: no two people are attracted to the same qualities equally. Find out your girl's individual hot buttons and hit those buttons like Chris Brown hits Rhianna.

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Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud

It's like I said before...I say people have many different beliefs, different values, and ultimately different personalities. Many of which are set by their cultures. But what stands alone is that humans all have the same needs. And our nervous systems function the same way.

With that being said...I think the question should be cut into two completely different questions. One being...1) What do women want in a relationship. And the other question being...2) What do women want in a fuck buddy/one night stand.

The first question is easy. Women want a man that they feel they have transformed. Women want to feel that they have made an impact on a mans life, so much so that it has transformed all his flaws into greatness.

Like...let's say you're a value sucking choad at heart, but you've put on a shell over top your personality. That shell being every technique and routine, neg, DHV story, everything you've ever learned from studying pick-up.

Next I want you to realize everything that a woman tells you they want from a man. Those things being qualities like...being a gentleman, and having a character (usually when they say they want character, usually what they are saying is a character that caters to them).

I want you to realize it...then completely ignore it, because it's irrelevant to what a woman NEEDS. And you need to realize that a woman, instead of picking up on her wants, is going to...at first...pick up on her NEEDS.

So what does a woman need in a relationship? That also is very easy to identify. They need a leader, a provider, a lover, and companionship. THAT'S IT! So everything that you've learned about picking up on women gives those needs a fix. Everything else that a woman wants from a relationship...like trust...will come into effect later on in the relationship. That is when you allow your choadiness to shine, and all those qualities you had all along will cause her to feel she has changed you, and will make her feel like she has transformed you into a perfect person to be with.

The second question is also very simple. What does a woman want from a fuck buddie/one night stand?

First we have to look into the mindset of a woman when she is on a mission to meet with a one night stand, or when one just so happens to land on her lap.

Her mindset is more in tune with only one quality that women need from a relationship. That being companionship. She isn't even looking for a lover, which most of you think it must be, but loving someone is an emotion, and emotions are completely taken away from a fuck buddy.

To prove my theory..just look at how women will have several fuck buddies at once. They want that constant companionship, which by the way, is completely unrestricted to anybody. And only women that have men of high abundance are actually picky about which man she'll sleep with. Problem is...most women are just that way.

So really...when you pick-up on a woman, and she makes it clear that she wants to fuck you. All you have to do is keep showing her signs and tricks that are relative to her wants for companionship. And you'll sleep with her for days, months, years if you want to...and there will be no strings attached.

_________________
You all take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take her twice.

Very few people are able to verbally describe their emotions so this is already an uphill battle. Secondly, women are pathological liars. Regardless of what they say, young women are so trapped by their needs to uphold their position in their little ecosystem that they will lie, cheat, steal, bite, kill to maintain their equilibrium. You wouldn't think that a certain perception of "identity" in a piss-ant of a school in a piss-ant of a town means much but to them, it's the very meaning of their existence. Well . . . I suppose this goes for most wussy guys out there as well but that's another topic.

Toss everything else out the window. Women don't WANT anything. As long as "you fucking her" supports her perception of her identity in her conceptual life, you're pretty much set.

Not much to it.

This at best is a very general definition of what girl's are attracted to. As every girl have different needs and wants when it comes to a relationship. Its been said and I think it is true to a certain extent is what a girl looks for in a man is basically a copy of her dad (assuming she had a father figure in her life). As her dad is the biggest male influent in her life. And so she is going to look for a guy that shares the most traits and what have you that her dad has as well. If you look at girls that are in abusive relationships more than likely the girl saw her dad being abusive to her mom and/or to her as well while she was growing up. The dad thing certainly is not 100% true nor accurate. As society certainly plays a part in this. As cultural does no doubt play a part in what a girl wants and needs in a relationship. Saying that I think for most girls they want a guy that can support and/or provide for them, it being money and/or emotional. Other than that its really up in the air as we can't control who or what we are attracted to.

this statement is brilliant for so many reasons

I think Tom_"Maybe" made some good points. And I agree, it is important to distinguish between relationships and ONS/friends with benefits or whatever. I will be the first to admit that women claim they want a certain type of man but they do not always choose the guy that possess those traits.

Speaking from a relationship standpoint, telling a girl that you have so many options and can leave any time she isn't doing it for you is just bad news. there is a difference between being alpha and being an ass. If your goal is a relationship with a girl, you shouldn't be trying to play these types of game and putting up a wall like that. On the other hand, if this is just a friends with benefits or FB type thing, then i doesn't matter so much.

And many guys always claim women want a guy that will bring her flowers and such. I wouldnt say that is at the top of the list for most women. But women say that kind of stuff for two reasons: 1. they want a guy that their friends will be jealous of. she wants to be able to brag about the stuff her guy does. and 2. she wants to feel like the most important girl in her guy's life. romantic gestures assure her that she is and it gives her peace of mind...and at the end of the day, aren't we all just looking for some peace of mind

Once,a girl told me something which I am to remember...

I want a man of action.


That is all girls want.Men of action are alpha males,which take what they want,when they want it.That is all.

This may work for MOST girls but theres a few ones out there that would be put off by the above mentioned (or at least a good portion of it).

Quote:
As a PUA, you know what she's really attracted to. She's attracted to a man with confidence, many friends of both sexes, social status, intelligence (especially social intelligence), an ability to lead and take control, a man who doesn't apologise for who he is, and is open and free about his masculinity and sexuality. A guy who has options, who is casual about sex, and who she has to chase and keep the interest of in case she loses him to another girl.


This summerizes it. Sure some tightass ladies are turned off by this, but i'd say few. If you convey everything in the above text in the right manner, you're personifying attraction. Girls can't help how they feel. They are wired to be attracted to the tribal leader, and have been for thousands of years. Social dominance and action in a man are converted to a sense of safety to a woman. A woman naturally desires a man who can protect her and your children. You can get technical about it, and make it complicated.. but it's primitive and actually quite simple.

A lot of the time a girl is telling the truth, she truly does want a guy to do all of those nice things for her, but she isn't telling you what causes her attraction for you. All those nice things are just cherry on an icecream sunday, nobody would just buy the cherry, thou they would buy the icecream sunday without the cherry. Both of course is a litte prettier. Don't forget the cherry is the last thing to be put on the sunday!