Hey guys.

First of all, now I'm asking for real advice, real opinions, PUA opinions.


I don't know if I have one-itis, what I know is that when I don't see or talk to her, it's ok, but when she comes back at me or I see her, it's not hard, but almost unbereable.

Ok, so here's the deal. It may be a long story, but I'll try to keep it as short as I can.


2 months ago I met a girl.
I'm 18, she's 19. We're studying on different universities (here at Europe the system is different from the USA system. We sleep at our home, Economics, Sport, etc universities aren't at the same building, etc).

The thing went very well at the beginning. I acted C/F, she liked it and engaged it pretty well.
She felt attraction.
2 friends of us and me and her lunched like 2/3 times a week.
I didn't talk to her everyday, just 3/4 times a week.

However, 2 weeks after I met her I started to have doubts, why?
Because I don't want a LTR, and I have one kind of girl which I for sure know that if we hang pretty well, I would start to love her.
When I understand SHE was that kind of girl, I started to behave differently, because I didn't want to love someone.

What was my behaviour? Bold, agressive, c/f. Sometimes it was sweet, but not needy. Other times, but very few, very needy, telling her indirectly I was attracted to her.

We kept talking and etc, mocking each other, but when I invited her to spend time with me, only with me, she answered to everything but that. I don't really know what to call it, maybe "complianceless flake"?

Anyway, 1 month ago she started to hang out and lunching with other group of her university. I don't know why, maybe because of me I guess.

3 weeks ago I wanted to test her, so I sent her this:

"I'm passing by x city, and I remembered you, so hi there! No get lost "

She was driving but answered anyway, telling me EVERYTHING she did in that city and she had a "beach house" there.

Then I answered "did I ask you something?".

She replied "ok, i'm sorry *".


The next day we've seen each other. She was very mad at me. She was like, very sad and furious.
She told me she thought we we're incompatible and that if our relationship moved forwards it would not end well. She said something like "sometimes you see me and I think you don't know if you like me or not. Sometimes I think I wasn't born to have a good relationship with you."

One of our common friends told me that he saw her almost crying when she sent me a sms telling something like what I wrote above.

I called her and she yelled calling me a bastard, I calmed her down and said "tomorrow we're going to talk. But don't forget this, one thing I know: I like you more thant I thought I would. Don't ever doubt this."

We talked the next day. She gave me IOIs every second. EVERY second.
I told her "I'm dating 3 girls. 2 of them are gorgeous, fantastic, I feel myself lucky to have them in my life, but they are superficial. However, other girl isn't as pretty as them, isn't top, but she's different, she's not superficial, and I like her more. She's you."

Then she said "yeah I have a lot of guys loving me. No, I'm kidding. I only have one, which I like sometimes, but on the others I just want to punch him in the face, because of some things he says to me. He's you."

After that we spent the afternoon together, because I had things to do and she wanted to come with me.
We mocked each other, passed a really good time.
When we said goodbye to each other, I asked her "what would you do if a stranger kissed you?". She smiled and said she would get mad.

Then I asked "and what if I kissed you?". She got sad, really sad, and replied "I would get mad. See, it's this kind of things that I don't like about you...".

Half an hour later she sent me a sms "you courage is admirable, but I got so confused... I freaked out. I thought our previous conversation made you understand I don't want to take advantage of you."

2 days later I acted very needy because I wanted in order to test her. I made her 3 invitations, she answered everything but not them.

After that, I avoided seeing her.
We didn't talk for about 1 week. Then she sent me a sms "when I see american idol I remember of you singing with your superstar style xD".

Note: I didn't participate on american idol, but sometime ago I played for her one song in the guitar.

After that we haven't talked anymore.


So, guys, I need your real help.
I want to know what did she felt, why did she "flaked" my invitations, if our connection is, or was, strong.
I want to know if she's attracted to me, but doing nothing because she may think that I'm a player or something like that.

OK, here is the layout from my perspective.

Sometimes you need to know when NOT to play the game. That is what's confusing her. The LAST thing you want to do to a target/girl is confuse her. If you confuse her she cannot trust you.

You DON'T tell her how many girls you are currently dating. That is none of her business. She didn't ask so you don't tell. Even if she does ask, tell her that she is the only one you are interested in. That was a shit-test. She wants to know how committed you are to her.

The whole bit about what she would do if you kissed her...that was also a shit-test. I would have kissed her either way, mad or not. I would have just walked up to her and kissed her.

If she is txting you, she is still thinking about you. You have a 'chance' but if you don't change your attitude about getting into a LTR with her, she will sense this and you will not get far with her. This also will confuse her more.

Remember, girls can read your body language like an open book. If you have doubts about the relationship, she will also sense this and will start looking the other way as well.

So, you have to ask yourself...are you gonna give her a chance or are you gonna blow her off and maybe miss the chance of a lifetime...

At times you need to know when NOT to be a PUA...but still be a Man.

Best,

J-Dub

_________________
J-Dub in DC

Its better to be the predator than the prey.

You need to be a good player if your gonna be successful at the game.