I am a college student.

Here is my problem:

There is this girl who I randomly see everywhere. The first few times I saw her, she would always check me out but I would kinda of just ignore it.

The fourth or so time I saw her was passing in the library... Her eyes locked with mine for about 5 seconds while passing.

I was like woah...

So I then decided that the next time I saw her I would have to introduce myself.

Since then I have seen her twice but have been too muuch of a pussy to go say anything.

Our eyes have met one time since the 5 second eye lock and I kind of just looked at her briefly and then away again.

So basically I am wondering how far into a hole I have dug myself.

I know I need to go introduce myself the very next time I see her, orelse I am totally f'ed.

My game plan for the introduction is somewhere along the lines of "hey I've seen you around a couple times, and always wanted to get your name" Then go on and ask her what shes taking ect ect.

But I am afraid that I have not shown that I might be interested in her. I am not sure in passing and even with eye contact that she got the idea that I might be interested in her... If that makes any sense... I don't think I portrayed attraction.


For the record, I have yet to say hi, or anything like that.. Just walk by silently ect

Like basically what I'm wondering is if my lack of showing emotion has screwed me over.

Any advice / comments to make my life easier, and I would be extremely thankfull... fuckin loosing sleep and kicking myself for not introducing myself sooner.

Thanks

Just go over and say hi for fuck's sake. What is she gonna do, knife you?

Like I just keep seeing her at the most inopportune times ie. leaving a building with a bunch of buddies following me and her with a bunch of people.

But yah thats what the plan is.

Next time she gives you a good look, go over there and tease her

"You can't just look at me like that and not say anything"

But have a backup plan, so you don't wuss out, just incase she doesn't look. You could probably just approach and start with a "hey" or one of those role reversal lines where you're accusing her of checking you out etc..

_________________
Anyone teach Cobra Commander Phil Pickup?
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"Next time she gives you a good look, go over there and tease her

"You can't just look at me like that and not say anything"

But have a backup plan, so you don't wuss out, just incase she doesn't look. You could probably just approach and start with a "hey" or one of those role reversal lines where you're accusing her of checking you out etc.."

Fuck that would have been awesome had I read this before I saw her today.
Good shit man

I ended up catching her coming out of the bathroom and going to class.

I pretty much ended up saying hey, I've seen you around just wanted to introduce myself.

So I did, she told me her name, and then she was like I gotta run to class but if you see me come talk to me.

What is the play from here?

Stay away from cliche's. This girl already told 5 of her close friends that "this guy" talked to me and "blah, blah, blah, blah . . ."

All her friends will ask, "So what did he say? What is he like?"

She goes, "Cliche, cliche, cliche" and they'll go, "Oh, I heard that one before . . ."

Don't worry about coming up with "pick up" lines. You already broke the ice. This is good. Next time you see her, flag her down with her name and simply ask, "what are you up to?"

Meanwhile, you've got to start thinking about some fun events that both of you will enjoy. Get ready to sell it.

You: Hey, ever go to _______?
Her: Yes/no, blah, blah . . .

You: It's a ton of fun, blah, blah, blah.
Her: Wow, sounds like fun.

You: Yeah . . . how about this Friday? Wanna go?
Her: OK.

Done. Keep it simple . . . have fun . . .

thanks for the help! I'll keep it updated lol.

alright huge update... I ended up adding her on fb because I would never see her on campus..

I sent her a message during exam week "hey whats up i know your pretty busy with exams right now but if you want a study break we should get coffee... no pressure"

sort of thing

she denied with "sorry all my exams this week then im gone"

or something along those lines

So I replied with no worries, where you from, add me to msn...


So like four days after that she adds me to msn...

I chat her up like another two days after that and tell her coffee invitation still open...

So shes like yah im down...

So we met for lunch i guess it was and talked for like two hours... found out a shitload about her... she is 3 years younger than me...
Bought her her lunch... she tried to buy her portion but I wasn't having it.. but I still havent gotten any physical contact, havent told her shes cute anything... I think this is a big mistake and i should have told her as soon as i introduced myself the first time.

she asked for my number my phone was broken at the time which was devastating for me

But I still haven't complimented this girl whatsoever or initiated physical contact... so i am afraid i have already entered the friends zone... and fuck that shit.

"19) Holding too much eye contact when the other person
speaks. Ignore the dating advice books that tell you to hold
non-stop eye contact. Non-stop eye contact makes you look
needy, socially retarded, and, frankly, like a weirdo. Instead
let your eyes blur and then gaze at her eyes. Look through
her rather than at her. From extensive testing, I've found
that gazing at a woman about two-thirds of the time is
optimal. By the way, only hold the gaze when she's telling
you something genuinely interesting. Otherwise, focus on other stuff like her breasts, her hair, things going on around "

I think i defs fucked that up... way too much eye contact.

"22) Being afraid to touch a woman, and thus being nontouching.
Be confident about it when you touch women--
any nervousness at all can be fatal for your relations with
her. Be alpha and physically move her when you need to.
Hold her hand to lead her around, etc. Be gentle—if you
use excessive pressure, you reveal your insecurity. (Since
you’re alpha, of course she will follow you, so there’s no
need to be anything other than playful and tender.) It's
natural to touch others, as when you're emphasizing a point.
So let the love flow! " I haven't touched her at all... when is a good time to touch her? We have only been on one date lol


Anyways were both off to break now so I guess its the texting game until new years.

Any opinions or suggestions?

I think i need to start complimenting her as soon as i see her again.

I want to demonstrate that I want a relationship with her..

also i dont think i demonstrated that i was alpha enough on the date.. how would i be able to do this LOL.... I am a pretty shy guy in general.

o and she doesn't drink, doesn't go to bars, and hasn't lived in one country for more than two years at a time

pleurazn,

Relax, relax, relax. You're over strategizing. The problem is that you're still asking yourself, "Does she like me? Does she not like me?" and "Will she date me? Won't she date me?" Filling your mind up with this stuff is messing you up. This is what makes you say things like, "No worries", "no pressure", "What ever you want to do", "Hey, any time is good with me . . .", "It's an open invitation" . . ."to coffee or whatever . . ."

And you think that "not complimenting" her at this point is a good thing?

Here are the two things that SHOULD be running through your mind:

1. This girl is hot. I LIKE HER.
2. I don't care what is in her mind, I will MAKE HER like me.
3. *This one is bonus: Hmmm. . . I bet she's got a cute little pussy down there.

That's about it. . . and here's the reason. Women are amplifiers. You stand there and go, "Oh my God! Did you see that creepy guy? Jeeze, he freaks me out," and she goes, "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

You stand there and go, "Wow, that was fun," and she go, "I had the most amazing time ever!"

Now if YOU'RE standing there and you're acting in ways that project your insecurities, they will feel this energy and become as much fidgety as you are times three. I'm not suggesting to go beating your chest saying, "She likes me, she likes me," (Which would be a lie. You don't know if she does or she doesn't) But there is NOTHING wrong with the 3 things I suggested above. You WILL make her like you and this process is going to be incredibly fun.

So on to the strategy:

Previously, I asked you to think of a fun event and this is what you came up with:
- 1. Boring event. 2. You just offered her 2 great excuses to go out with another guy instead. If she goes out with another guy, she can just tell you. "I was busy with exams. . . you know, like you told me I was . . ." (But you do this because of what I told you above)

Seriously, if coffee is the most FUN thing you can think of, why not something like this instead: Hey, what's up. A new espresso dude just showed up at the startbucks on Washington Ave and he draws funny little shapes on top. Let's go make him draw A+'s for us. (Get used to dictating. If you tell her it's fun for her. It's fun for her times 3. If you demonstrate that you two are a couple, you two are a couple times three.

For now, take it easy with the text game. DO NOT chat about relationships or your feelings. Keep it simple. "Having fun?" And simple, condensed, texts that shows you're having fun, "Waxing my board. Powder time!" (If you tell her EVERYTHING over texts, what reason is there for her to sit down with you in person when you guys are back on campus?) These texts are merely teasers . . .

Then when you get back, I hope for your sake that you have some fun things in mind. Then bam! Just dictate your show. Right when you see her, give her a big hug as if it was the most natural thing in the World and go, "Hey, you're looking great! What did you do over break? A spa vacation?"(Then just move right along to another topic) Just grab her hand and while crossing the road. When ever you point at anything, just grab her elbow (get her attention) and then point. You touch her and she will touch you TIMES THREE!!

Make this easy for her. What do you think is going on in her head now? .. . "Hmmm . . .he is kinda shy . . . I don't know. . . .he's cute . . .Hmmm. . . maybe . .. " And believe me, she's already talked to ALL OF HER FRIENDS about you. Make this easy for her. Make the decision for her. . . and she will AMPLIFY that decision for you.

Kasabi....


Do I owe you money now? Your advice just blew my mind... You are a GENIUS.

"And you think that "not complimenting" her at this point is a good thing?"

I think I've made a big mistake by not complimenting her yet... so what I meant was I wondered if I had fucked myself because I hadn't yet complimented her.

Anyways I am going to follow this advice like white on rice!

Another thing you mentioned about her talking to all her friends... I know this is true but also, she barely has any friends at university... just because of some random shit in her life.

I remember walking into this extra curricular club I joined because she was in it, and as soon as she saw me she leaned over and whispered something to the girl next to her... I can only assume it was something like "thats the guy"

Kasabi, thank you, you are amazing.

whats your take on the not having complimented her thing yet?

And yes, the coffee event was pretty lame... it did at least turn out to be like a two hour lunch instead. I do go to school in the smallest town in the world and there really isn't much to do but smoke weed and get drunk.. and she does neither... I'll do my best to think of something fun for the new years hahaha.

Ooooooo tobogganing! first thing that came to mind...

Defs got to work on the dictating thing..... any more advice on this piece?

The only mistake you've made is putting too much focus on the "unknown" rather than focusing on real-life TASKS.

Did you make a mistake? Did you put yourself in a hole? Did you do this, did you do that, did you do everything right? Mediate on this. Think of any tests in life where you can walk in and accomplish your best with the above mindset.

Sports, music, academics, business, etc . . . Go ahead and walk into the board room to present your business plan to 10 CEO's of top companies while thinking, "Was it a mistake to include quarterly earnings? Did I not focus on marketing enough?"

How about hopping in the ring for your gold medal match and thinking, "It was probably a mistake to run 5 times a week instead of 3. . . "

This shit does NOTHING FOR YOU.

So here's what you have to do:

1. You have to realize and accept that you have tendencies to worry and second guess yourself. No big deal. When you feel yourself go this route . . . STOP. Breathe . . . and just "watch" yourself. Do this and you'll eventually just laugh at yourself.

2. Focus on TASKS. Instead of filling your head with useless dreams, WRITE DOWN an action plan. That's right. Until this becomes second nature to you, write down a plan that you can follow along. When it's time to execute the plan, you might "feel" that this plan isn't right for you. This will just be your habitual patterns telling you, "Shit! You're making me feel really uncomfortable! I want to go back to my old self!" (What has your old habitual self done for you lately?) So FOLLOW THE PLAN.

3. You've thought, "toboggan"! Great, now write down a logistical plan and HOW you will communicate this idea to her. DICTATE THIS SHIT as if it's already a done deal. (When you walk into an exam room, you almost always know if you're going to get an A or not don't you?) Do the same with several more "fun events".

4. Do this with EVERYTHING you know is right. Write down, "When you see her, smile and a hug!" . . ."Just grab her hand cross the road" . . . "Tell her, Ohh, look how cute you look in that hat and then give her a BIG SMOOCH ON THE CHEEK!" . . .

Write it ALL DOWN. Execute the plan . . .

Eventually, there will come a time when you won't have to write anything. There will be a time when everything will just flow. There will be a time when excitement and joy will fill your brains more than worry and fear. But in order for this to happen, you need to make a determined effort.

Priceless Kasabi, I am writing my game plan down right now.