Helping a beginner!



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 Post subject: Helping a beginner!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:55 am
Posts: 52
Well, I've read some of these guides and to some degree they've helped. I believe my inner game is pretty decent, I'm pretty confident with myself and I think I come across in some instances as that. However, I want some pointer on:

1. I don't find myself feeling fearful of approaching, but when I do, it usually either ends up one of two ways: I introduce myself, it branchs off into casual conversation, I sometimes come off as funny, the girl will show IOIs, but I then don't know when to either stop and just pull a number, or when I should assert a different topic... and the girl clearly makes an excuse to get going. OR, I introduce myself, I make some sort of comment, then I become lost with what I should say further and I realize I go into boring conversation like "where are you from?" or "what school do you goto?". The girl gets going. I'm aware those are pretty much conversation killers, any BASIC exercises to start with to come off as more formidable?

2. In conjunction with the last thing, I'll do something charming or witty, but then I kind of become mentally blank and don't know what to follow up with. I end up coming off as weird in the end. How should I go about overcoming this?

3. The rare times that I'm feeling it, and I've had all the right things to say, come off as cocky and charming, I continue saying the right things, I get clear signs of IOIs, but if a woman says something like: "well you're not that charming" or jokes about my looks after I act cocky, or something like "yeah I'm so sure" sarcastically after I've joked about something. How do I go about responding? I always find I'm feeling off balance when those remarks hit and I can't really come up with anything overly witty, I guess that makes me look awkward or insecure in the grand scheme of things, but how should I respond and treat this sort of situation in the future?

I'm open to any pointers and tips, I'm also hoping someone can redirect me to a basic routine I can start with that's easy to follow. I've found many routines that people use to be for the more adept, I'm curious if there's something for the starter like me to cling onto until I can get into the more advanced stuff. I believe openers aren't that hard to grasp, but after that I find the steps become harder. Anyways, thanks in advance,

Over The Top


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 Post subject: Re: Helping a beginner!
PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:03 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2009 10:23 pm
Posts: 49
1) Try working on doing stuff on the go, you have 5 minutes and you got somewhere to be, open a girl. 5 minutes are up, you get the number and go. Body rocking, I think it's called. That should practice making good small talk, and getting a number. It should also help you see when's a good time to get a number. When you feel the "boring questions" coming, your mind getting more blank, decide that it would be a good time to leave.

Hang around funny charming people. It will rub off on you, especially if you watch them, and study them. See what they do, and practice it.

2) That sounds like a nervousness thing, just keep talking to girls and that will go away. (It is either nervous, or you have nothing interesting to say, both go away with time)

3) If someone is calling you on your cocky, there's too much of it, tone it down. If she says you're not that charming...well you might not be that charming...Practice. Talk to witty girls, they have some funny stuff to say, all of it you can use.

No, I have no plan or guideline for you, these social skills are just that, skills. Practice them, and hang around people better than you at using them. Make it a goal, study it, scrutinize it, even the people who naturally are more charming can't stand up to someone who sees it as a skill and practices it.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:55 am
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Location: Rome, Italy
I have been out and bought some pretty radical stuff but I still seem to only get the looks from people but not the approaches and I was expecting maybe a glimmer of interest from it. Can anyone give me a bit more advice on this?


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:41 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 13, 2009 10:23 pm
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Quote:
I have been out and bought some pretty radical stuff but I still seem to only get the looks from people but not the approaches and I was expecting maybe a glimmer of interest from it. Can anyone give me a bit more advice on this?
You approach them, it rarely happens the other way around. Define "bought some pretty radical stuff".


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