So, the other day I did a thread about a bunch of stuff mainly relating to my approach anxiety. I've been on here about a year now, read a lot of stuff, but never managed to put any of it into action.. well, tonight I did!!

I have had a gf before and such, but never approached anyone that wasn't a friend of a friend or really done anything at all that wasn't major AFC, but tonight I saw this girl who I knew was a friends sister (who I find pretty hot) and went over and introduced myself. We had a good chat and for the rest of the night I kept catching her glancing at me. This boosted my confidence. I then made eye contact with another chick later on (7/10), who commented on my hair. I took it from there, and left with her number. The whole convo lasted maybe three minutes max, she asked me to hang out with her later that night but I declined as I have work tomorrow and wanted to go home (looking back I realise that I should have just said I was busy - easy to think of things like that later though and I'll remember next time!) and she gave me a hug then I left. How long should I wait to text her? Even if nothing comes of this I'm really proud of myself, but if I can I think having some casual sex with her would be good.. I've only had sex with the one girlfriend before and not in over a year so I think it's time!

But yeah, where should I take it from here? I was going to text her as I drove home but thought better of it, how long would you guys say to give it and what should I say to her? My band is playing a gig this Saturday that she expressed interest in attending..

Don't overthink it. A text in the car saying something wity / c&f ( I like texting a bit later with something like 'Who was that handsome man you were talking to in 'bar x') would of been fine. A call now or in a day or so to invite her to your gig would also work well.

Just do it!

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Texted her last night, didn't get a reply but it was pretty late and it's probably a pretty safe bet to say that she was asleep as replied first thing this morning, woke me up in fact. We were texting for about an hour, and I took a few risks I wouldn't usually and suddenly so many things I've read started to make a shit load more sense! I didn't neg her or anything, but I did make her validate herself a number of times and didn't give in when she attempted to do the same thing to me.. and she even commented on how much of a "smooth talker" I am! It's sent my confidence through the roof to be honest and I think I have a lot of untapped natural game that I just need to break into a bit.

It was really fun and I'm really excited to see where I can take it.. she isn't someone that I'd want a relationship with I don't think (this is the first time I've ever even considered anyone for anything else, but that could have just been me making excuses..) but a bit of fun for sure. I'll let her initiate the next convo or wait and see if she turns up to our gig tomorrow..

Congrats on ur first # close and also good to hear you're having FUN doing the game. I'd just say if you got a nice excuse to invite her along, do so. Dont take her on a 1:1 date *yet*. Maybe organize a drinking-eve with some friends and ask her along..

Good luck.

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Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

Congratulations! Remember to do plenty of kino.


Phoenix - "Women want sex as much as men, they're just generally less forward about it."

Okay, so she flaked on the gig as apparently she's moving out and had lots of packing to do or something.. anyway she's still been messaging me a bunch (she always initiates it) and wants to do coffee next week. I guess that would be a one on one, should I do it? Also, do I pay for her?

I was thinking just hang out in a park or something too as that's a good chance to sit close and do some kino or even go to the museum because you can make that super fun and it gives you stuff to talk about.

Since you've been building up the convo through texting, go for it! Do the coffee, then, if things go well, definitely hit up the park. You could just add the museum on there if you wanna keep going. In fact, you might put the museum in there before the park just so you have breaks between long convos. Good work and it sounds like you're right on track while having a good time!

So, my work timetable is super hectic this week and amongst other commitments all I had free was Tuesday night. She agreed to a quiet beer or two if she can get work off herself.. how should I play this? I've never really had a sober 'date' with someone I didn't know before.. do I pay for her drink? Should I sit next to her as opposed to in front of her to try and get some kino happening? Ideas for teasing her and flirting?

I'm a bit nervous to be honest.

I wouldn't really pay for drink unless the bartender assumes you are paying for it...refusing that might make you look bad. Either way, I honestly don't think that it makes much of an impact. I was worried about the same time but I just let it happen either way.

The most important thing to me is not to focus on teasing and flirting. Let out the natural you. Ultimately, that, in my opinion, is more important on a date if you actually want to have fun and connect. I would definitely try sitting next to her, though. Gives you a much better opportunity to read her sign language and kino.

I definitely hear you on being nervous. But, just go out and focus on the possibility of having fun and relax. The night will take its course as fit.