Ok im 30, she's 40. We met 2 months ago at a bar (neither of us really go to bars) and have been going out ever since, sometimes only seeing each other 1 or 2 times a week due to her busy work schedule. She recently separated from her husband before we met.

About a month into she said she couldnt see me for a while and she needed some time to herself. She was very surprised when i got very upset over it (yes i know i shouldnt have done that, but its the way i am when i really like someont) and didnt know i had such a sensitive side. She just thought i would say oh well and carry on with life unaffected by our month together. We ended up having sex that night but didnt see her again for a week as she ignored my texts/calls then she contacted me we hooked up and she couldnt keep her hands off me....

Yes the sex is great especially for her she loves it and texts me about it and how good i am. She told me she was really busy this month with work....and hasnt really been responding to my texts or answering my calls when i phone. Its driving me insane as i really like her and want to be with her, but i feel it may be heading for the 'i cant see you for a while' which really means it over.

But i dont want this.....so what do i do to keep my girlfriend??

Are you sure she doesn't just want the sex and that's it? It sounds like it. Either way don't contact her like crazy. You should both have an equal effort in making contact. If she calls just dont pick up. Show her a bit that you're not a youngster but you're also a man who is serious.

That said, I'm single (again)... so I'm not a pro in KEEPING relationships hehe.... :p

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Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

im pretty sure its more than sex as we hold hands and kiss in public and i dont think you'd do that with a sex hookup. Also last time we met up for dinner we kissed and walked with our arms around each other to the restaruant and she said she does like me.

Then maybe she really is busy my friend, maybe you worry a little too much (I do that too sadly).
Maybe she is still not ready for a full on relationship because of her divorce ?
If she ignores your texts and calls, stop calling and texting her that much, what's the use if you're not going to get a response anyway? It only makes you look needy.
Be busy too, but keep seeing her and building more and more attraction and if in a few weeks she still can't give you what you want, be honest about it, it's not 'AFC' to state your intentions. Always be honest, but mostly to yourself. If she can't handle your honesty, then is she really the kind of person you want to be seeing?
Someone on the forum gave me the name of a book you can download, its called "David X - Be relentless". It's only 26 pages but it's a really good read and I can recommend it to anyone but you should really have a look.

Best of luck,
Chillburg.

hey mate thanks for the help....you are completely right i often worry to much and see things much deeper than they really are!!!

Im still unsure on how to proceed with 'building the relationship' as i better than average i think at getting numbers...but often stuff up when i call. this is the furthest i have gone in quite a few years to be honest.

thanks for the ebook suggestion, im downloading it now!!!

Thanks for the points bro, I got something else for you too that makes me feel better when in a situation like this.

Its NLP (neurolinguistic programming) related, you can use it whenever you are annoyed or made unsure by someone's actions/comments, maybe it sounds lame but you should give it a try:

1. Count your blessings (all of them) and think about them for a while.
2. Put yourself in a tolerant mindset
3. Ask yourself what kind of stuff could be going on in the other persons (the one you have ' negative' feelings about) life that could make him/her act the way he/she does.

maybe it'll help next time you feel a little down.

Chillburg

thanks bro, i sort of give that stuff a go, doesnt really help me unfortunately as i get depressed and down really easy. thanks for the advice though!

first remember, "He who cares the least controls the relationship." Take that as you like, but its an important piece of advice that has helped me over many relationships. Also remember that she is in the middle of a divorce (even if its legally over). She probably freaks herself out. As for the PSA, most women are naturally affectionate, so she may really like you, but not want to like you as much, or may not actually like you as much as you think she does.
I you want to get under her skin in a good way, start acting like you are ok with not seeing her. Don't return all of her phone calls, and when you do (don't text), make sure you are happy and not a jerk (this is hard sometimes). And when she DOES want to see her, have fun, be yourself, and don't bring up the fact that she doesn't always want to see you. Let her lead the way to any increase in the relationship. (And yes you can use your techniques to nudge in that direction). Remember subtlety almost always works better, until she is practically begging for your advances. Push/ pull my friend.
peace

Hey mate i wish i knew that statement at the start of this relationship. I think thats a good idea to show that im not fazed that i havent seen her and to make it look like i have been busy even though i havent!

I also wonder if women worry about how much the man earns/ what his type of job? Because she would earn at least twice as much as me i think, but i dont think she would know this. I know i have some positives, like very good kisser and excellent at sex (not trying to be up myself at all its just this is always pointed out to me, i have many flaws as well!) just wonder if women weigh everything up to see if it balances out or if they concentrate on specific things.

So in my experience with girlfriends, what they care about and don't is extremely volatile. One day they could care less less that you don't make more than a mcdonald's french fry cook, and the next they wonder why you don't drive a benz and have any ambition.
LOOK, I don't think worrying about money in this situation is going to help you at all. If she ends up caring about it, then that's her problem. I think that women want to know the basic things that you already know...
A) They are wanted
B) They are taken care of (how ever that is defined)
C) They are Safe (as is their children)

Right? I mean this is pretty generalized but you get the idea. As long as you don't act all AFC, and wuss out, you should be ok. AND if you already did (no worries we all have) you can still save it. Just look her dead in the eye and say this;
"(name), You know that I have enjoyed spending the time that we have, but if you feel that you need to do something else, then that's exactly what I want you to do. I support and respect you. Its just too bad because we both will be missing out on a lot." Then kiss her head or her cheek, and leave.

When you talk to her make sure she knows you are happy (and actually be happy, this is the really hard part) and that you hope she is well, but you have to take care of you're busy and fun life. If she says she misses you, great, make sure that she ends up suggesting a meet up, NOT YOU. You can sort of coerce this bit out of her with something along the lines of, "You miss me? Wow, I've been thinking about you too, so what should we do about it?" It has to feel like she came up with the idea. This works really well to get an ex back as well for any guy out there who has that problem. It worked for me and I f-ed it up by suggesting the meet-up. She was about to but I got ahead of my game and over-zealous. Oh well, you live and learn.

Make sure that when you meet you follow the three C's.

Conversation
Convenient
Cheap

Make sure that what ever you do is conducive to chatting and laughing, also that it fits your schedule. (for instance if you are in need of new clothing ask her to come along as you buy yourself those new pair of jeans or sweater or whatever. You get the point.) And make sure that she knows that you are spending time with her as a friend, not a desperate ex who wants her back. You can even say, "You know, I'm really glad we broke up/ glad we've spent time apart. Its given me a lot of time to do things I didn't do before." (DHV Story inserted here) I think you get what I'm saying here. If you have any other questions, I'd be more than happy to help out some more. The whole breaking up thing is sort of my forte. Its why I got into the community in the first place.

Talk after sex .

That shud help you out .

hell , if she likes your sex , draw your wishlist from there .

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Sympathy For the Devil .