Here's the thing, I've always had this bad habit of getting one-itis - one of the reasons I decided to get into PU - and when I get a case of one-itis my mind goes blank whenever I'm around that girl. I have read and studied so much about PU and yet whenever I'm around these certain girls, I just go blank. It's annoying.

Anyway, this time it's this girl I met about a month ago, and I see her on the weekends usually. I've been really into this girl since the moment I saw her, she's just my type. So I went out with my friends last night and decided to make it or break it, and before I actually made my move I found out that she has had a serious boyfriend for 3 years and is planning on moving in with him when he gets back in town.

This time though, I didn't blank at all, I knew exactly what to do and what to say to make her start falling for me. I knew the boyfriend-destroyers and I knew how to connect with her more deeply on her passions and cares than her bf probably ever has; I knew how to make her mine. But I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything.

Now, I'm all about this girl, and I'm perplexed as to why I didn't do anything. I mean I could see myself waking up next to her for a good while. But for some reason, I felt like I couldn't do that to the guy; which normally I'm just like, "well, fuck him." Anyway, I was just wanting to get some second opinions about the subject matter.

Although I think I already made my decision with this girl, do you guys think it was the right one?

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

depends on what kind of guy he is---if hes an asshole his girlfriend is fair game

I totally agree with that. I think I could still dance this dance with her, I'm just not sure if I should yet.

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

a lot of its getting the timing right

---not too long ago i was in similar position with a girl who was hot and had asshole boyfriend for 3 years

--it was when i was major league AFC and figured i should accept friendzone as the best i could get there as she was ''so in loooveee with John''

anyway didnt see her for about two months and found out that they broke up literally within days of when i had last seen her and she went sleeping all over place---love talk is cheap

Hmm, you've got a point there. I guess it really doesn't matter whether she has a boyfriend. I can't believe I forgot that. If she is truly really in love with this guy and he's "the one" for her then there's not really much I could do to win her over anyway. Well, I guess I will dance with her then.

(and since I forgot my traditional sayonara line the last two times)

- TD out (x3)

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

Tread carefully.. if she is serious enough with him to be moving in together.. it's likely the guy is not an asshole..and it is serious.

If you do decide to go for it.. be prepared for a massive rejection which will probably follow..

Oneitis is a dangerous thing

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

I understand what you're saying, but to be honest rejection doesn't bother me anymore, I've gotten used to it over the years, at most it just feels like a pebble in my shoe now. I mean I can't have the girl any less than I do now, so what's the big deal if she shoots me down? And besides, I'm more tired of the friend zone than I am of rejection, and at least a rejection can make for a funny story later on.

-TD out.

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

I understand what you're saying, but to be honest rejection doesn't bother me anymore, I've gotten used to it over the years, at most it just feels like a pebble in my shoe now. I mean I can't have the girl any less than I do now, so what's the big deal if she shoots me down? And besides, I'm more tired of the friend zone than I am of rejection, and at least a rejection can make for a funny story later on.

-TD out.

_________________
"Send me a red-head,
Send me a brunette,
Send a blonde to me.
When I unwind, I'm colorblind,
They're all the same to me."

I agree with you there man, rejection isn't something that bothers me either, i'm past giving a shit about it because where there is one girl i don't click with, there are 3 others with which i do!..

buut, i've always stood by the rule that a happy relationship should not be tampered with.. unhappy relationships are just basically two single people reluctantly sharing a bed.

what i gather from what you've written, they seem happy - so i'd do my best to save face, because your friends are going to find out - and they know that her guy isnt around, and you know she is taken long term.. you're gonna end up looking like the dick here..

like i said.. tread carefully

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

I think most guys have experienced one-itis. I know I have in the past and even now I have to keep myself in check. The most successful relationships for me have been with the women I never planned to meet. When you obsess about a girl it messes with your mind and your game. You just don't perform or game the way you do when it's spontaneous and you just don't care.

you know if its a choice of beings friendszone and being an outright enemy where she hates me and shoots eye daggers at me --i prefer being hated-- i have enough friends dont need any more---theres nothing worse than being turned into a sorta Dr Phil/shoulder to cry on/friend--- that has to listen to their million and one hang ups and problems---theres something slightly gay about platonic male/female friendships

well fair enough Herne (you realise you're name means "Sweet Pea" in my native tounge - Finnish lol).. i see where you're coming from becuase at least you put yourself out there, it could have gone positively - but if she ends up throwing daggers your way; i find it damages your rapportoire with a lot more people that you think..

In my mind, it's more productive to bite the bullet, get over this oneitis.. because i'd rather be friends with one hot chick who i used to obsess about, and have a solid chance at banging all her friends..

as opposed to being hated by your oneitis.. and disliked by all of her friends..

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

yeah you are right there illusionist---do many people notice it when they throw the dagger looks?--i suppose more and more women cant think or make up their own minds these days--its their friends make the choice for them and they do what the collective friends group dictates and of course the target will never admit that they have to do what their friends decide


yours sincerly

Sweet Pea

Well, you've gotta think of it in a trust issue..

If a girl says to her group of friends that "this guy is an asshole *points in your direction* hits on all the women he sees.. bla bla bla"

Because her friends have never met you, they automatically have a much larger trust in her friends opinion, than a PUA that is probably being watched sarging some HB in the corner..

Friends of HBs can destroy your value in just a few seconds..

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"They were right when they said "just be yourself" they just never told you what "self" to be.." - Gunwitch

oh I know--often its better to just do a full evacuation and avoid the whole situation once it goes that way.