Hey guys I have an issue here that i'm sure isn't uncommon. There's this one girl that is definitely sexy, and I had a bad case of one-itis and being an AFC. One night i texted her while drunk and told her she was cute, and she goes all "I have a boyfriend".

I start inviting her out and we'd dance but she'd always say I have a bf. Just last night we went out and she pulled the same crap so I told her either dance with me or leave, I'm not here to talk about your BF. After a few dances I went around and danced with other girls then I told her I was leaving and left. I stopped inviting her out on the weekends and she just started inviting me out to hang. Where do I go from here to reel this one in or is it a waste of time?

What I would do:

First i would try to find out if her relationship is healthy or not, if it's healthy i would just leave it alone man. Plenty of single girls for you to have fun with, without destroying something.

If it's a bad relationship, just go for it. Go and have fun with her, let her know you're interested and go for it. Nothing to lose, all to win.

Well, does she have a boyfriend or not ? Maybe she is one of the good and loyal girls and she doesn't want to cheat on him. She doesn't have to dance with you if she is in a serious relationship. If her relationship isn't working out very well for her you might try to steal her away. She is a human being too, don't you think. That you have oneitis is your problem, not hers. She isn't in this world to serve you and help you out with your oneitis. The big question is if she really has a boyfriend or if she is just making this up.

Anyway, texting her she is cute is a very bad thing to do anyway. It conveys only bad things. First of all it tells her that you were to chicken to tell it to her face which indicates you have a lack of confidence and are an AFC. Secondly, you don't compliment a girl on her looks before she has given you enough IOI's. It is much better to compliment her on her personality. If you would have text her that she is fun to be with and funny and a very charismatic girl you would have done a much better job. Unfortunately you can't turn back time.

Now, what can you do given the bad situation you brought yourself into ? If you don't hang out with her anymore, nothing will happen for sure. So you have to hang out with her. That is a certainty. Instead of asking her to dance with you, just tell her "Ok, I go dancing.", and you just go to the dance floor without waiting for her response or reaction. Just go there and start dancing with a girl. After the dancing, try to talk to the girl you met on the dancefloor and after a while introduce her to your one-itis. After some chitchat ask your dancegirl to dance again. Just before you leave for dancing ask your one-itis to join too. Chances are bigger now that she will say yes because you are not planning to dance with her alone but as a group. So she probably won't tell again "I have a boyfriend". If she does tell again that she has a boyfriend, don't get angry. Never get angry. That kills attraction. Always stay cool (even if it is difficult sometimes). I would say something like: "And I am really proud of you because who could have thought you would ever meet a guy but I didn't ask you to date me. I only asked you to join me on the dancefloor. Anyway, if you prefer to stay seated and have a boring time, it is all up to you.". Then smile and go to the dancefloor without waiting for her reaction.

thank you both for the replies this forum rocks. the girl told me a while ago that her bf was kind of loserish and as an afc i listened. this was a few months ago in the summer. i definitely acted like an AFC and waited until i got drunk and texted her.
DonPua thanks for the neg and the insight on my actions.
i'm going to take your advice guys thanks!

You are welcome. It would be nice though if you keep us informed about your future interactions with that girl.

hey guys just updating for those who answered before. i decided not to go after the girl and look for some other single ladies. i was taking the easy way out by not going and looking for new single women. thanks fellas