Before I got into the whole pick up artist thing I helplessly fell in love with girls the second they gave me any sort of attention. I met a beautiful girl and we spent a good 8 months dating, and I had known her a year before that and we were great friends.

I got to be me! I never watched what I said or did. Well apparently I must have been too needy and she ended up with another guy I was heart broken

I learned all the pua tricks, talked to random girls everywhere I went, and have slept with 24 girls, and kissing to bjs with another 9 girls. in the past 3 years. Not an impressive number but a fairly good sample.

I know how woman work now, they all seem to follow a pattern, now the best I've done is an hb8.5 so no 9s or 10s for me, so I'm no pua pro by any means.

The whole point of posting this was to share that I think that the most important thing to do is have your own life and you SLOWLY let the girl into it. You make plans, you stick to them. To have a backbone, and to not let women try and manipulate you with their looks, or sexual presence. Depending how "edgy" or flirtatious you want to be you can call them out it. Or you can just smile.

Being able to say no more often, often gives you more power, and just because a girl gives you attention that really doesn't mean much. So if I were to sum up the last 5 years of dating experience I would advise the following:

1. It doesn't matter what other people think, as long as youre happy with yourself. If you don't like a part of yourself, work on changing that so that YOU like you.

2. Have a backbone, don't change your plans to hang out with a girl, and don't change your beliefs just because a girl.

3. Don't be needy! There is nothing more unattractive than desperation. I always try to pretend I'm the girl listening to me talk, how would she view this in her eyes.

4. Be fun, don't dwell on things, and remember youre only as good as what youre going after

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Blogs and summaries of everything I have learned and field tested.

Very nice post, and very true.

What you are saying is what a lot of pua's are missing. They put on a "mask" of a pua character and they go out sarging. The problem with that is if you want a relationship at some point with a girl you've sarged, it wont be with you - It'll be with PUA-You and it will be very difficult allowing her to get to know the real you. And that's why changing habits is much more powerful than pretending to be someone else.

But, so yeah - I agree with you and its nice to see your point of view.

I will also agree with this, there is a PUA I've met who has two distinct personalities, one that is him and one that is his PUA side and this is completely the wrong way to go about doing it, However, I would argue against the whole 'just be yourself' advice that we're dangerously close to hitting here.

My basis here is that 'JBY' is usually the response that people give to those who have found that being themselves hasn't worked, which is why Track's advice is so perfect:
It's effectively 'You need to be YOU, but a more fun, outgoing you.' This is the greatest lesson that I've learned. Sure you can use scripts and be someone you're not, create this mask of behaviour, but it won't be congruent.

I'm MHFenix and that's my two cents. lol. +rep for both of you.

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"I don't think I will ever love a woman the way I love myself."
*snigger*