getting over LJBF



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 Post subject: getting over LJBF
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:51 pm
Posts: 22
Inner game wrecked by LJBF:

I dont mind getting rejected at bars or by women that i dont really know, but this is different. I've known the girl for a long time and I know that when we first met she was into me, but I failed to make a move. As time progressed we've become better friends, but she no longer has attraction towards me.
Basically I'm more into her then when we met and she is less into me then when we met.
The reason it hurts so bad is because I feel like she actually knows me. I'm going to a top 5 law school, have many friends, always genuinely try to make the people around me feel better, and by general consensus i'm hilarious (my group of friends voted on superlatives, i.e. best looking, most likely to be living on a sofa in 5 years, etc).
She knows all this and that I care about her and she still doesn't want me.
I'm in the process of moving on, but id like to get some advice.
What does it mean that a girl that, i feel, really knows me doesn't want me, and that the more shes gotten to know me the less she wants me?
How have you gotten over the sting from the lets just be friends deal? Has anyone escaped the friendzone (im hesitant to ask this because it shows that i clearly have not moved on, although im accepting the escape is unlikely which is part of moving forward)?

cliffs: good at other parts of life, but being friendzoned has led me to feel so insufficient. How have you guys gotten over this? or recommend that i get over it?


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 Post subject: Re: getting over LJBF
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:56 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:58 am
Posts: 994
Quote:
Inner game wrecked by LJBF:

I dont mind getting rejected at bars or by women that i dont really know, but this is different. I've known the girl for a long time and I know that when we first met she was into me, but I failed to make a move. As time progressed we've become better friends, but she no longer has attraction towards me.
Basically I'm more into her then when we met and she is less into me then when we met.
The reason it hurts so bad is because I feel like she actually knows me. I'm going to a top 5 law school, have many friends, always genuinely try to make the people around me feel better, and by general consensus i'm hilarious (my group of friends voted on superlatives, i.e. best looking, most likely to be living on a sofa in 5 years, etc).
She knows all this and that I care about her and she still doesn't want me.
I'm in the process of moving on, but id like to get some advice.
What does it mean that a girl that, i feel, really knows me doesn't want me, and that the more shes gotten to know me the less she wants me?
How have you gotten over the sting from the lets just be friends deal? Has anyone escaped the friendzone (im hesitant to ask this because it shows that i clearly have not moved on, although im accepting the escape is unlikely which is part of moving forward)?

cliffs: good at other parts of life, but being friendzoned has led me to feel so insufficient. How have you guys gotten over this? or recommend that i get over it?
You didn't "get friendzoned" you were always her friend. That is simply how you've let her see you for a long time, and she's used to that and accepted it. Probably went through the exact same feelings you are now, and came out the other side accepting the friendship.

It's also possible that she's scared to lose the friendship by moving on to anything romantic.

I think the question will be, have you gamed her at all? Are you treating her the same way you would some hottie in the bar? Or are you still treating her like a friend?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:08 pm 
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Posts: 22
well, the night i first met her i know she was interested in hooking up...i was always interested in hooking up, but saw the attraction dissipating and ended up never making a move (although she does know that im interested). I was friendzoned in the sense that i was a potential suitor, but now i no longer am.
"It's also possible that she's scared to lose the friendship by moving on to anything romantic. " its not this, if there was real attraction this wouldnt stand in the way.

Nowadays i dont really game her after being given the LJBF, although I do tease her while practicing good body language.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2009 6:35 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:35 pm
Posts: 2091
Website: http://www.sashapua.com
Location: London
I think having a good female friend who is attractive is a great asset. The more the merrier in my opinion. Ask her relationship advice, get her to introduce you to her hot friends, go out to bars and stuff with them, and use her as a pivot/social proof when you go out gaming. If she really is into you, then seeing you gaming other women will re-ignite any attraction she did have, and you'll have a better shot at that point than you do now anyway.


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