I have been vigorously studying the game for a couple weeks now. I feel very uncomfertable using canned material from books and openers online. I understand delivery tops content but it doesnt feel natural what so ever. So I decided to try and write my own opener i think its pretty basic. Let me know fellas is this one good, bad, or needs work as a mixed set opinion opener:

Hey guys, I only got a sec, Id like a group opinion on this. When you first meet a person your attracted to, what's the first trait you look for in that person?

Im not quite sure where it would go from here...Im looking to try it out this weekend. Id like to know if I can make this a little stronger, I feel like its missing its punch.

My first guess would be the men in the group would talk about physical attarction like breasts, ass, or anything that has to do with the body, i dunno. And the women I feel like would lean more to the personality aspect. Let your voice be heard i need it lol.

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Only you control your life, life is short, never regret your past, work hard for your toward future goals...

It doesnt feel natural because you are not congruent with it. This means that the person who wrote that open was feeling X emotions when he wrote/delivered it and you are feeling Y emotions when you are delivering it. You feel Y but you are saying X, which causes incongruence.

The problem is not the fact that the line comes from someone else, because you can write lines one day, go out the next, and feel totally different emotions too.

You should go out with more simple and natural openers.

"hey, whats up"

Remember that like 10% of communication is verbals, and 90% is non-verbals. If your focusing on the lines, your only working at 10%. Dont worry about the words--subcom is much more powerful.

I usually open up with whatever is the first thing that pops into my head--and its usually very very dumb, but it also works 100% of the time because I have absolute faith in it and it is also 100% congruent.

"Oi, Your tall"
"OMG you look like a cow" <-That chick was wearing a black and white pokadot shirt. OH, here is what happened =]


Summary: Dont focus on what to say, because that will get you into your head when your infield and take you out of the moment. Verbals are only 10%, so Subcom is more powerful then perfect verbals. Going out and talking to chicks with anything is better then waiting for the perfect line.

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actually now that I think about it maybe it would be best to eleminate this as an opener and use it as a screening question during comfort???

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Only you control your life, life is short, never regret your past, work hard for your toward future goals...