I didn't start the game yet, gathering info as of now and I have this issue:

I'm usually a quiet person. I feel like there isn't much to say(unless there really is) and I pretty much feel fake if I try to talk crap just to avoid silence.

My usual attitude is like "bored".

Anyone with same problem? Any advice?

http://www.rsdnation.com/brad/blog/mill ... vomit-girl

Its called the million dollar mouthpiece.

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learn to become curious and genuinely interested in other people. this will cause you to naturally ask questions and conversation will flow naturally. you will also come across as confident as your focus is on the other person as opposed to worrying about what youre saying and what the other person is thinking of you. this is probably the most powerful 'concept' I have learnt...ever. Its almost all you need!

Have you ever really really wanted to know something from someone and you felt you just HAD to know? your mind was focusing on the information you were inquiring about rather than what that person would think of you right? you probably felt completely confident when asking this question as you were waiting in suspense for them to answer and looking forward to it. THIS is the mindset you want to have at all times. Public speakers use the same technique, they focus on the audience and forget about themselves.

very helpful info. thanks.

what the hell is that all about.

hahaha

I had this problem BAD when I was younger, and still have it occasionally, but it is going away. They say if you have many or a few older siblings, that you don't tend to to talk as much, because they did all the talking for you as a child. But you can't go back in the past and change that, so lets see what you can do.

In order to fix this, lets look at the reasons most people don't talk very much, or are shy:

• 1. They don't see the need to talk. This is quite common. If someone doesn't feel like they need to talk, why should they waste their voice?
  2. They over analyze. People don't want to make themselves sound stupid, because naturally we want to sell ourselves to the opposite sex, and to do this we have to look good, and what better way to stay safe in the eyes of others than to remain completely silent? The mentality is, nothing comes out of my mouth, bad or good.
  3. They don't want to be judged. This is very similar to the second point. People feel that if they talk, other people won't like or appreciate what they have to say.
  4. Lack of confidence. Most people say things they believe, or things they are confident saying. If you lack confidence, then you lack the ability to say things you are confident about. This is the root of the problem.

You can probably choose one or two of these reasons that apply to you. I know the main one that applied to me and still does sometimes is the second one. I tend to think way too much about what I say, and this causes me to over analyze and not say anything, or just say simple things and agree. This does not mix well with game.

Lets fix these issues, one by one.

• 1. Find a reason to talk! It may seem general, but if you find your voice, if you find what you feel strongly about, you should also look for the ability to speak out and express what you have to say. Your voice matters, whether you like it or not, and your opinion has value, in whatever the conversation, whether its about something as shallow as weather itself, or a deep conversation in philosophy class; whatever it is, you know you have opinions. The main idea here is, speak your mind! Holding yourself back only creates barriers, and not just in the social section of your life. Find a reason to talk, because when you do, you won't believe what you were missing out on.
  2. This topic applies especially to me, so I can take my own advice in this one as well. Over analyzing is caused simply by the fear that you lack value in the eyes of others. If you feel that others don't approve of what you will say, or if you feel that you have to prove something every time you talk and that everything you say has to be funny and witty and comical and profound and meaningful, then you tend to monitor your speech and consider every single word that comes out of your mouth. This puts a barrier over your ability to converse, and if you suffer from this then your conversations will tend to be limited and boring. In fact, by trying to maintain value by not talking, you are in reality decreasing value. The main method of increasing perceived value by the opposite sex is through escalation of conversation, and utilizing methods such as those put forward in game.
  3. This parallels with the whole idea of feeling undervalued, and having low self esteem. Often people that are affected by this problem also suffer from number 4. which we will get to in a minute. The solution to this problem is just getting over that wall you have built, with all the graffiti on it saying 'DANGER: People will not like you if you jump over this wall" and "Keep out, trespassers will be judged, persistence will be judged again". Erase this mental wall and step out of your boundaries. This wall is built by you. There is no avoiding being judged, it is a sad fact of human reality and human nature, and there is no avoiding it. It is part of our society. Big deal. Accept that fact, and move on. Be who you are, and who you want to be. If other people openly criticize you for what you say, then they themselves are probably suffering from some kind of low self esteem, something worse than any of these problems. But if you step over that wall, you will be surprised at how kindly people take to those who are good conversationalists.
  4. Lack of confidence is an issue all on its own, and I think most of us (on this site and in the world in general) have had this at some point. It touches on all of the previously mentioned problems, and the solution is a combination of all the previously mentioned solutions. But you have to understand that confidence is universal in terms of the human mind, and is reflected in many ways, but one of them is through body language, and the reflection goes both ways. If you are confident within, it will show in your body language. Likewise, if you show confident body language, you will become more confident within, like magic. Just like how if you smile, you become happier. Same effect. Try walking with a strut, always have a positive, confident smile on, look people in the eye as they pass by, and acknowledge them with a 'hey' or a nod, keep your head up, walk 20% faster than you normally do, etc. There are so many ways to improve confidence that I can't touch on them all here, but if you search around (on this site and on google etc.) you will find many ways to improve confidence level.

Phew, that was long. But I really hope that helped you out, I know it helped me. Message me if you have any more questions.

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-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Nice post Sharplin, if I can just comment on your points which are relative to my post above...
One of the best ways to find a reason to talk is to become genuinely interested in the other person. This way, you HAVE to talk in order to inquire about them. And best of all, you will WANT to talk.
Outwardly focus on the other person, this will not even give you a chance to over analyse your words as your focus will be on THEM and completely off yourself. Be curious about THEM, its all about where you place your focus. If you think about the term self-conscious...it means youre focusing on yourself. This causes a distortion on what we are trying to convey because the majority of your thought is not on what you are trying to convey, but rather on whether you are screwing up or not.

Realize that worrying about being judged is purely your desire for seeking social approval. Dominant males and true leaders do not seek approval, they KNOW what they do is ok. This is why they are such good influencers as they have this unwavering confidence about themselves.
...experiencing the above 3 points will result in true confidence.

I was the same way bro. I used to be unusually quiet towards men and women. But then I learned something.

Most people are quiet because of their confidence level. They feel they can't relate with "normal" people, so they stay quiet. It could be something as simple as stating your own personal opinion... but even that seems like a bad thing to do.

Once you gain confidence in the game. You'll have no problem being social. The words will just find themselves. People are naturally social creatures, and it's social conditioning that causes people to become quiet. So you have to crucify your ego, and build self-esteem.

Once you have self-esteem it'll be like how you felt when you were a little kid. You can be social, and even brutally honest with people, and they'll just assume your cool, and they will try their best to identify themselves with you and that's when you can dictate people's emotions.

It's somewhat complicated to put into words, but trust me... once your social barriers are broken, you'll find yourself talking so much you'll feel like a clown.

Like I stated before, I was like that, and now I pick up on women at places like food courts, and I talk so much now, that I don't even have time to chew my food. It's insane.

The main problem is that you haven't tried anything yet. Get your feet wet with some canned material and build a conversation from there. Bring the woman into your world by talking about things YOU want to talk about, and she'll be looking for ways to qualify herself to you.

Like say you just read a book, and you're talking about it. You'll notice she'll say silly shit like "Oh, yeah...I've read a book before...do you like Harry Potter?" (That's just an example I heard from Tyler Durden, but it's so true.) Just get your feet wet, and it's not you that becomes social through picking up women...it's your image that talks to the women.

I'm hoping that made sense to you, lol.

_________________
You all take 'er easy. And if she's easy, take her twice.

Sharplin, you described me in very detail and yes I am the younger sibling.
That's how I was before, over analyzing not to be judged.
However I'm making big progress now of changing myself, being confident and all the inner game stuff.
I'm a confident person on the inside(i belive in me, but yet I over-care about what others think), so it wont be so hard to get this fixed. I watched "Deep Inner Game -- David DeAngelo" and helped me a lot to understand many things, if you didn't see this yet then I highly recommend it, it's life changing, you can find it on torrents.
(I don't particularly like DeAngelo, but this seminar is presented by a professional shrink).

I also have many ebooks downloaded, just need to to find time to read them.
There's a lot of stuff to be learned(even self-hypnosis) as I want to become a better person and I nee to educate and control myself in many ways.

Anyway, imo the most important thing about "the game" is self-confidence. If you develop genuine self-confidence then you will have the mindset of a champion and you'll obtain whatever the f#%k you want to obtain. Including girls.
Being confident you just hit on girls and based on experience you develop your own personal game eventually, you'll know what works for you.
Genuine confidence over-rules any pickup tips.
The whole PUA industry could be compressed into one thing: self-confidence.

I have good looks and a good brain, I just need to train myself to be fear-less and emotion-less, that's like universal success imo.
Taking control over the fear and over the emotions, will result in the ultimate self confidence, genuine alpha.