Hi I have been coming up with some DHV stories to transition with mainly on Day 2s based on real things that have happened in my life.

I would appreciate any feedback on them:

DHV Story 1: Drunk friend in Vegas

Transition:

You look a crazy girl, go on tell me the most craziest thing you have done when you were drunk?

Story:

Get this during a Road Trip I went on accross the States. I was in Vegas with some friends, and a bloke called Kevin who was quite a laugh was sharing a room with me and had been drinking all day. He was also still drinking up until just before I went out for the evening. I remember the toilet was blocked and I called someone to have a look at it. I came back at around 3 in the morning and he was still there snoring really heavily and had passed out.

There was water all over the floor and it reeked in the room. There was also a note addressed to me which was soaking wet with scribbled writing on like the person who wrote it was pissed. It said the guy who had tried to fix the toilet was an idiot and could not use the plunger properly and he would have been totally decked if it had happened in the UK.

Three guesses to who had written that. I tried to wake my friend as we had been offered another room because it really did stink in there and i did not want him
to breathe it in. This was to no avail he just kind of moved like this (I do an exaggerated impression of him to the audience) and snored a bit more and any attempt at waking him was useless as he was completely out of it (pause).

I did take this opportunity to call on a girl from the trip who liked me and was sharing a room with another girl so I invited her to the room with me I had been given after my friend would not wake up. The girl who she was sharing a room with was still fast asleep and did not hear us making wild passionate love down the hall. My friend woke in the morning and did not remember. I remember telling him what happened along with the other people on the tour bus the next day much to their amusement.

However (pause) I did not tell them about what happened between me and my secret lover as that was our moment and we shared a knowing wink.

What the story conveys:

* I have friends
* Who I look out for
* Went on a cool road trip across America
* Preselection
* I am discreet with what I do with my girls

So do you think this story conveys the right things and could it be cut down or changed at all without bending the truth at all?